Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

sheshe2

(88,101 posts)
Mon Jul 10, 2017, 05:29 PM Jul 2017

What The Mother Of A Black Son In America Fears The Most



When I discovered I was pregnant with my second child, I was cautiously excited. I knew that at my age, 39, I had a higher risk of complications, so through the early weeks I tried to avoid thinking of the embryo inside me as an actual child who would be entering my life. But when I had the standard screenings for genetic abnormalities, the technician told me one of the tests would reveal the gender, too. I said yes, I wanted to know. To be prepared.

A week later, the nurse called. “It’s a boy.” Dread was a hot flush in my head that drained and pooled in my chest, made my heart churn and my hands shake. A boy. Some mothers would be overjoyed. I was terrified.

My first child is a girl. I know black girls and women die in America with disturbing frequency. But Trayvon Martin’s face haunts me still, five years after his murder. I think I’ve known Emmett Till’s shy smile my whole life. As a child, I dreamed about his soft body, beaten bloody. What would become of the black boy I would bear into this world?

Thirteen months later, my son sleeps fat-cheeked and round-bellied in his bassinet. Dread and fear are not like a heavy load, which can be carried or not; they’re not like animals, which can follow you or not. My dread and fear at having a black boy child in America are like bones, dense and marrow-filled at my center, weighing me down. They are like organs, pulsing in my gut.

But my son, with his dimples and delicate ears, inspires tremulous hope, too. In hope lies such strength, and also such weakness, bound as it is with constant terror. All of this coalesced in one feeling at the end of that phone call, and that feeling glows every time I look at my beautiful little boy. Love. I am his mother, and that means this: As a parent, I let him know he is precious. As a writer, I tell his stories. As a citizen, I strive for a world that will not strike him down in violence, but will grant him safety and grace and life.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-the-mother-of-a-black-son-in-america-fears-the-most_us_595555d3e4b05c37bb7d0875?section=us_black-voices

It should not have to be this way, yet it is. Sadly it is in 2017.
10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
What The Mother Of A Black Son In America Fears The Most (Original Post) sheshe2 Jul 2017 OP
He is in a crib and his loving mother is planning on giving him 'that talk' irisblue Jul 2017 #1
Sad isn't it? sheshe2 Jul 2017 #2
Wow Sheshe. This is truly hearbreaking lunamagica Jul 2017 #3
I have not been back here for awhile. sheshe2 Jul 2017 #4
I wish I knew Sheshe. It pains me that this thread has received so little response lunamagica Jul 2017 #6
I agree with everything you just said, luna. sheshe2 Jul 2017 #7
B/C of 'missing posters' from this group & the rest of DU irisblue Jul 2017 #8
ITA. The board is not the same without them lunamagica Jul 2017 #10
powerful writing The Polack MSgt Jul 2017 #5
Thanks, MSgt. sheshe2 Jul 2017 #9

sheshe2

(88,101 posts)
2. Sad isn't it?
Mon Jul 10, 2017, 06:09 PM
Jul 2017

And to feel the fear of raising a black boy in what should be a joyous moment.

sheshe2

(88,101 posts)
4. I have not been back here for awhile.
Tue Jul 11, 2017, 12:37 AM
Jul 2017

I figured it would just sink. Yes, my heart breaks that a mothers first thought would be no and terrified she was going to have a boy. This is not right, lunamagica. How do we change this? I do not know.


Tears and a thank you for responding, luma~

lunamagica

(9,967 posts)
6. I wish I knew Sheshe. It pains me that this thread has received so little response
Tue Jul 11, 2017, 02:59 PM
Jul 2017

That is just wrong.

Las November was a real slap in the face for me. I knew things were far, far from perfect, but the lever of racism, misogyny and xenophobia surprised me. I'm convinced that Hillary won and that the election was stolen, but still, too many millions of voters support him. They adore him because he allows them to proudly show their putrid real selves.

I feel like since November I've aged 20 years...

sheshe2

(88,101 posts)
7. I agree with everything you just said, luna.
Tue Jul 11, 2017, 03:09 PM
Jul 2017

It is so sad how low tRump and his supporters have taken this country. We as a people are now less safe than we ever were before.

irisblue

(34,405 posts)
8. B/C of 'missing posters' from this group & the rest of DU
Tue Jul 11, 2017, 03:11 PM
Jul 2017

traffic in this group is way down. I learned so much & miss their intelligent posts so much. ::sigh::

The Polack MSgt

(13,451 posts)
5. powerful writing
Tue Jul 11, 2017, 09:42 AM
Jul 2017

Thanks for the link. It takes something as well written as this to get me to click over to HuffPo nowadays.

Jesmyn Ward is a name I'll look for from now on.

sheshe2

(88,101 posts)
9. Thanks, MSgt.
Tue Jul 11, 2017, 03:15 PM
Jul 2017

It is a powerful read. It makes me very sad that this is a way of life, the joy mixed with fear.

Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»African American»What The Mother Of A Blac...