African American
Related: About this forumFor Wypipo Who Have Considered Cops When Privilege Wasn't Enough
As one of the worlds foremost wypipologists, I have been tasked with addressing the newfound epidemic of Caucasian cop-summoners that just began trending around ... oh, Im going to say it started in 1619, give or take a few days.
Thats correct. None of this shit is new. White people have always loved calling the police. In fact, in newly-unearthed ship logs from the Niña, the Pinta and the Santa Maria, researchers have discovered that upon landing in the New World, Christopher Columbus first words were:
Hello 911? Id like to report some Natives trespassing on the land I just claimed for Spain.
But instead of dwelling on the past (because someone might mention slavery and make white people upset), Id like to focus on the future. Because of all the shit they did in the past, wypipo have a great affinity for the future. If you dont believe me, read the transcript of any Caucasian apology and Im willing to bet that it says something about moving forward.
According to a 2016 Harvard University study Im making up at this exact moment, 89.4 percent of all white peoples apologies contain the words moving forward. For them, moving forward is the equivalent of black peoples Why you always bringing up old shit?
Anyway, wypipo, although it is encoded in your DNA to dial a nine, a one and just wait for a nigga to do something, Id like to suggest an alternative. I propose a five-step process that every white person should consider before calling the police on a black person.
Think about how many tax dollars you could save if police didnt have to drive to the scene every time Amber thought something was suspicious about the Negro walking through her neighborhood. Imagine how much your city could save on overtime if officers didnt have to spend hours writing up reports because Connor thought a crafty Negro had bought a uniform, stolen a mail truck and was cruising through your neighborhood, casing your subdivision, planning a series of home invasions by putting mail in peoples mailboxes.
https://www.theroot.com/read-this-before-calling-the-police-for-wypipo-who-hav-1826090898
brush
(58,016 posts)wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)are ever going to see it.
brush
(58,016 posts)Especially the Yale and Oakland ones.
Maybe they'll read it and get something out of it.
Maybe on two countsmaybe they'll read it and maybe they'll get something out of it.
wasupaloopa
(4,516 posts)are times when I am told dont bother calling the cops they will never come. Yet they come in these cases. Makes no sense to me. The calls are so petty in their nature yet so terrible in that they are even happening.
I am sorry for the shit people have to live through I cant imagine what it feels like. The cops should harrass the callers for wasting the cops time.
populistdriven
(5,686 posts)too bad he thinks it'd be better if they just all armed themselves and cancelled their phone service
personally i only use 911 for inanimate objects threatening public safety