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Daxter

(103 posts)
Tue Apr 3, 2018, 03:24 AM Apr 2018

Friends of the family call relationship with a Muslim woman an abomination

These friends (now former) told my parents that what I am doing is wrong and an abomination. They have said horrible things about Muslims (as well as black people) every horrible racial slur and stereotype you can think of about Muslims they used. The fact that they focus so much on her race and religion instead of her character is disgustingly ignorant and closed minded. Their racism blinds them from seeing how beautiful she is and how happy she makes me. I always knew there were racist people in our society but I never realized that I used to call some of them friends.

I am happy that a forum exists on DU to have conversations about mixed race relationships and the challenges that we face.

21 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Friends of the family call relationship with a Muslim woman an abomination (Original Post) Daxter Apr 2018 OP
Welcome to DU lillypaddle Apr 2018 #1
I am in good company here at DU Daxter Apr 2018 #20
This forum has been fairly quiet. Probably because annabanana Apr 2018 #2
Thank you Daxter Apr 2018 #11
you don't need bigots like that in your life Skittles Apr 2018 #3
They did Daxter Apr 2018 #12
good for her Skittles Apr 2018 #17
So terribly sorry to hear this GeoWilliam750 Apr 2018 #4
Thank you Daxter Apr 2018 #13
Say good riddance to bad rubbish. I am married to a Jew, but would have had Doodley Apr 2018 #5
All you need is love Daxter Apr 2018 #19
Hooah! weissmam Apr 2018 #6
You only have one life. Soxfan58 Apr 2018 #7
:) Daxter Apr 2018 #14
I'm glad you have a relationship with a wonderful woman who brings you happiness. NBachers Apr 2018 #8
People pass judgement out of ignorance Daxter Apr 2018 #15
I'm an old white guy ... left-of-center2012 Apr 2018 #9
If only everyone treated others the way you do Daxter Apr 2018 #16
I've experienced some of the same IronLionZion Apr 2018 #10
People threatening you for dating a Muslim woman is deplorable Daxter Apr 2018 #18
Post removed Post removed Aug 2018 #21

annabanana

(52,791 posts)
2. This forum has been fairly quiet. Probably because
Tue Apr 3, 2018, 04:40 AM
Apr 2018

multi-racial relationships are supported largely across the DU platform. Glad to see you as a member, and I hope you join in all around the place.

Daxter

(103 posts)
11. Thank you
Wed Apr 4, 2018, 03:28 AM
Apr 2018

It feels good knowing that there are great people on DU that want to make the world a better place.

Daxter

(103 posts)
12. They did
Wed Apr 4, 2018, 03:31 AM
Apr 2018

Even though they were life long friends. My parents had no problem kicking them out of their lives. My mother told me her sons happiness means more to her than anything.

Doodley

(10,386 posts)
5. Say good riddance to bad rubbish. I am married to a Jew, but would have had
Tue Apr 3, 2018, 05:08 AM
Apr 2018

no problem at all marrying a Muslim.

NBachers

(18,132 posts)
8. I'm glad you have a relationship with a wonderful woman who brings you happiness.
Tue Apr 3, 2018, 06:07 AM
Apr 2018

I'm in a relationship with a mainland Chinese woman. Where she works, there is a Muslim family. They have taught her how to use a headscarf to wrap her head in Muslim fashion. I love the way she looks in it.

We really don't experience any looks or glances as we're out bopping around town as a Caucasian & Chinese couple, but when she puts the scarf on, I notice a lot more attention directed her way. No one's ever said anything, but I sometimes wonder what's going through her heads.

Welcome, both of you, to Democratic Underground.

Daxter

(103 posts)
15. People pass judgement out of ignorance
Wed Apr 4, 2018, 03:39 AM
Apr 2018

I love that they taught her the how to wear a niqab . When people see the niqab, they immediately stare and start coming to conclusions about your relationship, whether good or bad, they are still passing judgement on both of you without considering that you two are a normal couple that is in love.

Thabk you for the welcome, I wish you and your girlfriend all the best.

left-of-center2012

(34,195 posts)
9. I'm an old white guy ...
Tue Apr 3, 2018, 09:00 AM
Apr 2018

Raised in a rural white church, school, environment, and grew up in a racist family.

Two of the best friends I've ever had were a Muslim couple from Bangladesh.
They were more family to me than a couple of my Trump loving siblings.

I don't care about someone's color, religion, sexuality, national origin.
If you are a nice person, I like you.
If you are not a nice person, I don't like you.

Just my 2¢.

Daxter

(103 posts)
16. If only everyone treated others the way you do
Wed Apr 4, 2018, 03:43 AM
Apr 2018

The world would be a much better place. Treating others with kindness and a basic level respect goes a long way and says a lot about your character.

IronLionZion

(46,976 posts)
10. I've experienced some of the same
Tue Apr 3, 2018, 04:30 PM
Apr 2018

I've also dated Muslim women and black women. Black women they can deal with since we have several in our family now. But Muslim got me threats of violence and all sorts of weird projections from their own fears and fantasies.

If it's friends, sometimes you have to let people go and find better friends. The same needs to happen with relatives. Immediate family can be difficult but if they see that you are in a serious relationship they may eventually come to accept it even if they don't support it. And if they don't, then you can still accept that some people are going to think nasty thoughts and you don't have to care what they think or say.

There are plenty of like-minded and friendly folks out there to build your own supportive friends. Friends of the family don't necessarily have to be your friends.

Daxter

(103 posts)
18. People threatening you for dating a Muslim woman is deplorable
Wed Apr 4, 2018, 03:53 AM
Apr 2018

Soneone threatening you with violence is disgusting and pisses me right off. The individual who did that to you is a bully, a weak cowardly bully. I absolutely HATE bullies (even more so now that we have one for a President) I am a firm believer in karma and boy is some bad karma coming that bullies way.

I am lucky that I have good friends that support me and now I have the DU community as well.

Response to Daxter (Original post)

Latest Discussions»Retired Forums»Interracial/Multi-ethnic Relationship Support»Friends of the family cal...