They’re also the ones who cut your clothes off. I’ve had to get a taxi a few times in donor clothes after being discharged after midnight.

By the way, your mom was right: always wear clean underwear.

would put the fear of God in anybody...........

Did it, but it was in a helicopter and I didn’t want to miss the ride. The other two times I was completely out in the back of boring ambulances. And, as a medic, they’re safety scissors that are used to tear rather than actually “scissor”.

It’s really strange to suddenly wake-up buck naked with needles in you and being sutured by strange people. Now I just say “dammit, I had another seizure!?” And they say “yup”. It’s becoming a regular thing as I get older.

and two nursing assistants were also involved — all females. It took awhile, and suffice it so say, it wasn’t fun. When the procedure was complete, I looked at them and said, “No offense, ladies, but I’ve had better dates!”

You're funny!

They’re brutal. The best way through the process is to develop a sense of humor because you’re usually prone and immobile. I learned some good jokes - none of which I’ll repeat here out of respect - but nurses can have a pretty gnarly sense of humor sometimes.

Once I broke my hip and developed a DVT in my left femoral vein from the hematoma that eventually passed to a PE because I was on Coumadin (to address the DVT). Nurse came in and wanted to check my “bag of cranberry juice”. I laughed so hard blood came out of my nose. Coumadin is horrible, but it’s cheap. Eloquis, an alternative is in no way cheap or reversible, but it seemed to do the trick. I still put both feet on the ground in the morning now. The only thing worse than being stitched without a local is having your intubation or Foley removed while you’re conscious.