Did I read that sign right?

E-mail from my friend!


Did I read that sign right?



TOILET OUT OF ORDER.

PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.



In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:

PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES

WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.


In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE

STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE

BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS

WILL BE TAKEN



In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD

EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND

UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.


Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES,

WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT

BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS


Spotted in a safari park (I sure hope so)

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN

AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS

A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS

TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,

BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


Message on a leaflet:

IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET

WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.


On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.

(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)



Proofreading is a dying art,

wouldn't you say?



Man Kills Self Before Shooting

Wife and Daughter.




This one I caught in the SGV Tribune

the other day and called the Editorial

Room and asked who wrote this.



It took two or three readings before

the editor realized that what he was

reading was impossible!!!



They put in a correction the next day.


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,

Expert Says



Really? Ya think?


Police Begin Campaign

to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails;

Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

-----------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!

----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,

It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield (London) Couple Slain;

Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something

stronger than duct tape?

----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning:

Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity

Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!



Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!

---------------- ---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?

****************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

*******************************************

And the winner is....



Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

***************************************************

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity
and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to ...

(maybe even a chuckle).


We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!