state fair

A man walked into the oval office, a big man, a burly man, tear in his eye and said, “sir, I am the grand master of the Iowa tent , and we really need someone with your pagent experience to judge the pigs.

The president beamed, secure in the knowledge that no one could judge the pigs better than the single smartest human in all 6000 years of natural history. These pigs would not be screeching and covering their paps with towels when be made his traditional tour of their dressing room.

It was a beautiful July afternoon in Washington so golf cart 1 was readied for the official caravan toward the Lincoln monument, where a solid 14 caret gold plated statue of justice had been placed in preparation for the weigh in.

Swine of every color were brushed and covered in maybelline as the great man’s electric vehicle passed near enough to the reflecting pool that the president ordered his entourage to stop.

“I must see what all this algae is doing to my beautiful American flag blue rhino liner. The salesman promised I couldn’t cut this with a knife. Lets see how great a deal I negotiated for this new pool.”

Descending from the tiny cart, the president hiked the 6 feet to the edge of the pool. He looked into the water and saw, incredibly, his own reflection.

“I don’t have to look at any more pigs today," remembering his commitment to the Iowan, "Give the blue ribbon to that beautiful swine with the golden hair that I see in the pool."