National Job Openings at Record High, Trump Struggles To Fill Top Posts

with Seasoned, Qualified Shitheads

http://us9.campaign-archive1.com/?u=bc6cfeeede3f05b8504f947c9&id=89daa4f652&e=02dfd0c468

JOB DESCRIPTION
You are a pro-active self-starter who knows instinctively what you’re supposed to do and is capable of articulating exactly what that is to your team and also to us as soon as possible. You are comfortable with uncertainty and thrive on lack of clarity and vision. You are a team player, no matter which of our ideologically contra-indicated teams you work for in this competitive, cut-throat, backstabbing, collegial environment. You are constantly thinking about how you can challenge norms and/or uphold them. You are a disruptor always innovating new ways to defend the status quo.

ABOUT US
We are a dynamic team of entrepreneurs and business leaders who know how to run successful businesses by identifying and exploiting inefficiencies in markets and old people. Our leadership team represents combined decades of experience meeting and/or not meeting shareholder goals and guiding companies through self-created corporate challenges. We have no experience whatsoever in government and are pretty fucking fuzzy on its philosophical underpinnings let alone what it’s supposed to do. We want to hear your ideas!

REQUIREMENTS
Working knowledge of Microsoft Excel

NOTICE
The Trump Administration is an equal-opportunity employer of white dudes.