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captain queeg

(11,780 posts)
Sat May 2, 2020, 10:22 PM May 2020

Alternative word meanings from WaPo contest

Once again The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
-Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

-Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

-Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

-Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

-Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

- Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these Really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

- Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eatin by g.

And the pick of the literature:
- Ignoranus (n): A person who is both stupid and an asshole

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Alternative word meanings from WaPo contest (Original Post) captain queeg May 2020 OP
From the earlier contest, my favorite one-letter alteration with a new definition was . . . Journeyman May 2020 #1
#13 above, Rastafarian proctologist dweller May 2020 #2
K&R and thanks. They're all brilliant! nt tblue37 May 2020 #3
This is great! Thanks, spell check is gonna testie my patience though. MasonDreams May 2020 #4
What year was the contest? Martin Eden May 2020 #5
Not sure. My brother forwarded it to me. captain queeg May 2020 #6
Many are from Rich Hall's "Sniglets" eppur_se_muova May 2020 #7

Journeyman

(15,144 posts)
1. From the earlier contest, my favorite one-letter alteration with a new definition was . . .
Sat May 2, 2020, 10:47 PM
May 2020
Reintarnation -- the belief that after death you come back as a hillbilly.

Martin Eden

(13,459 posts)
5. What year was the contest?
Sun May 3, 2020, 06:09 AM
May 2020

I've seen that list before, at least several years ago.

But it's all good, nevertheless. Thanks for sharing!

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