(Like a normal person) instead of crab-walking one leg at a time.

I feel ya.

Except when I remember to half-sit on the edge of the bed!

Doc told me after I got my new hip to ALWAYS sit on the bed to put on pants…I don’t it’s my little personal protest that nobody knows about…well I guess just blew that.

In the dark and I don't have a large space between me and the furniture so any horizontal failure is quickly remedied by the bed. I have learned the hard way, that there's no need to try to accomplish feats of defiance, I usually end up wishing I hadn't.

...I taught them that EVERYONE should sit down to don underwear, pants, socks and shoes--no matter their age or condition of their body! Preventing the fall so you don't have to live with the results of a fall shows you are intelligent and know how to take care of yourself. Be aware that as we age, we tend to behave more and more like rebellious teenagers--which makes us OLD--isn't that what you really want to avoid surrendering to?

I volunteered for many years, playing piano at a nursing home in Montreal around the corner from where I lived. There was this really lovely, elderly gentleman who came to live at the home and he quickly became one of my favourite “apres show” audience members to chat with.

One day I came to play and found him sitting in a wheelchair, which was not usual. After my performance, I sat down and talked to him. Apparently, the lightbulb in his room burned out, and he decided to climb up on a chair and try to change it himself rather than bothering one of the orderlies to do it for him. Of course, you can guess the rest. He took a bad fall, shattering his hip, and confining himself to a wheelchair. Possibly for the rest of his life, although I moved away shortly after that, and never did find out the end of his story.

One foolish, reckless moment can alter our lives permanently. I don’t want to live in fear, but I also don’t want to live in a wheelchair. I try to be very careful when doing anything that could lead to such a consequence.

What you said here! No, we don't want to live in fear! But we DO want to live independently and without pain! So we have to use our good sense! Our strength and balance is more compromised as we age so we have to get things done differently! Sorry, it just cannot be stressed enough.

everyone at the docs office will know because something broke!

Had trouble sitting down all day couldn’t figure it out.

Color-coding works....

Does the elastic stretch a long ways, or is it a sudden stop like a brick wall?

Those were the instructions we always got on the zip lines on Maui. To go faster, be a pencil. To slow down, be a starfish.

Truth is always funnier than fiction, right?

Be careful when on Planet Earth.

I got BOTH my legs through my underwear! Standing up! (ok, a disclaimer: I did one leg at a time).

Nah nananana-nah!

In the words of my dear old dad, of blessed memory, “It’s hard getting old, isn’t it, daughter.”
Sometimes, dad, sometimes.
“Beats the alternative though.”

A friend at the high school where I worked cracked up everybody in the teacher workroom before classes one day. We were having constant required testing for our students, much more than we were actually teaching. Said she, “ Today I knew to put on my big girl panties. I sure hope this isn’t the day the elastic breaks!”
🕊thatcrowwoman

I make sure there is something to grab onto nearby.

I know it is going to be a bad day when I catch a toe.
Timber!
OSHA Safety tip. Always put yer underwear on next to the bed.
When you fall it has the added benefit or launching your wife out of bed so she can make you breakfast.
No I ain't gonna sit down to do it.

Wrap around underwear with velcro.
Ya just wrap it around and stick the velcro then pull the middle through and velcro.
Now when you pee ya got a perfect drip bib. You know you need that! It will work great for you short guys. Not that I would know anything about that.
I am gonna make a million.

of the terrible zipper scenario.

They're called adult disposable briefs. Not kidding. Some folks call them diapers.