Pain

When I was young
My body strong, in touch
With itself, monitored
By a brain pliant and healthy

Pain was in an instant
External, a warning shot
A sting, a burn, an impact
An initial sharp stabbing of the knife
A peak and then a fade
To a forgotten memory

But now, as I have aged
Pain is my faithful companion
My annoying sidekick
In this life’s long journey

Gnawing at my insides
Strained within my spine
It never ends, just ebbs and flows
With each change in position
And every indulgent meal
Or day of physical labor

A sudden lift is just enough
To remind me of my constant friend
Who slaps me back to reality
When I think myself immortal

--

But up in the tower that is my mind
The stones are scattered
Memories shattered
As I struggle to make sense of it all
Feelings never neutral
Weigh down one side of the scales
With darkness, fear, and anguish
About all that is to come
All that I’ve experienced
Is nothing to so very many
Who’ve lost it all to war
Disease and financial ruin

--

So can I bear the weight
As I carry my own burdens?
Will I snap in two
Like the camel from the straw?
Or will I live in dignity
Knowing to hurt is to be human
As the years fly by
One painful day at a time?

To be is to live with pain…