Philosophy Of Love

PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE

I have come to the conclusion that love sucks. All around. It is just
another excuse to spend money, time, and tears on something that doesn't
exist. I can only imagine what you're thinking right now. "Well, I
have been in love before." Well honey, chances are, you were either in lust,
or are completely blind all together and need a reality check - which is why
I am here to snap you out of it. Of course, there are the occasional few
who are lucky enough to find each other and be in REAL love. But that just
condemns them from the rest of the world. Declaring that you are in love,
automatically gives you the title of off limits. Not to mention, no one
wants to hear about it! Unless they are in REAL love, too. (Fat chance) To
friends, family, and frankly the rest of the world, you're dead.

And of course, as much as everyone despises those lucky few, we all secretly
wish that we were that happy. It's disgusting. A buddy of mine is a perfect example of the point that I am trying to make. He used to hang out with me almost every day. It was a completely platonic relationship, which is rare, but great to have in a friend of the opposite sex. Then I made the biggest mistake of my life. Introducing him to HER. From the day those goddamn sparks flew, I haven't heard from him since. He walks around on cloud nine with stars in his eyes, and drool on his lip. Having my ears pick up on those last minute smooch sounds and walking in on the last bit of "I love you honey" or "No YOU hang up..." on the phone is enough to make any NORMAL, un-in-love person go crazy. So - whats a single, semi-attractive person like myself to do??? Because pleasuring yourself can only go so far. Even those unbelievable, "no one is at home, so why not," vigorous masturbation sessions. Masturbation is only temporary, like aspirin. Four hour relief. It only lasts until the next time you see that hottie walking down the street with some blond haired blue eyed Britney Spears lookin' chica, holding hands, enjoying the day with each other. Well fuck the day. I find it to be a slap in the face, reminding me of how single I am and how long it has really been since I have felt that way with someone. Do me, and every other single person out there a favor. If you're going to be shitty enough to be happy when I am not, do it out of my view. Thank you.

What possesses the human race to feel that they need the companionship of
another being to feel truly happy in life? Is it the compelling need for us
to be dependant on SOMETHING - ANYTHING?? If that is the case, then why not buy a pack of cigarettes? Or have a bowl or two? Cause you won't cry over those. And I don't know about you, but I get butterflies at the sight of a freshly packed bowl, so what else does a person need??!! The common phrase "It is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all" is a total crock of shit. Whoever thought of that should be kicked square in the pussy. If we're all so dependant on the companionship of another living being, get a damn dog! At least he won't piss you off. But sex with dogs is highly frowned upon and is pretty nasty sounding. So its back to the drawing board.

It just seems that for the longest time, people have been trying to put into
words what love is. It's everywhere. Like locusts. I swear, I can't turn on
the radio without some tree-hugging hippie singing about love. It's in chain
letters, poetry, movies, television, countless teen quizzes in magazines.
The list goes on. You can't avoid it no matter what you do. It's like a bad
car accident. You want to look away, but you CAN'T! you're drawn to it.
Numerous quotes have been spawned from relationships too. Most of which
totally contradict each other. Such as, "To love and be loved is to feel the
sun from both sides." I have heard this a lot, and I don't know about you,
but the sun is fucking hot and sweaty and way too bright, especially when
recovering from a hangover. I don't want to feel the sun from either side.
Unless it is tanning me and making me more sexy. I saw a quote earlier on
the internet that said "TRUE Love is always there for you when you need it."
-Andrea Besson. Well Andrea, I know of a billion instances where this held
completely untrue. Where were you on that one asshole? People don't know how to explain love because love doesn't exist on earth. God loves you. Jesus
loves you. Mom loves you. But everyone else hates you. That's just the way
it is. This world is too polluted with selfish people who are only devoted
to themselves. Society is bringing us up that way, generation by generation.
And it is only getting worse as time goes on.

So what ever happened to the knight in shining armor? Men who would put
themselves in mortal danger to win the love of a woman. Love was so powerful
back them. People would DIE for love. They would fall so helplessly in love
with each other and live happily ever after. It's funny how it seemed that
there were never any imperfect matches. People just seemed to fall in love
with the right person the first time and be happily married for the rest of
their lives. Happily married...isn't that an oxymoron? Maybe not back then,
but certainly now. People marry at the drop of a hat because they always
have the unconscious reassurance that if it doesn't work out, theres always
divorce. Vows seemed to have lost their potency. For better or worse, in
sickness and in health, till one year from now do us part. The tables have
turned, making it more rare to actually stay together. What happened to the
good old days of growing old together? I guess it has died, along with
chivalry, fidelity, and privacy.

There have been so many bad relationships out there. I mean, everyone has
their own stories, including me. I know of a few people who have been hurt
so badly, that it is very difficult for them to trust anyone at all. It's
test after test. Even to the extent of sending a friend in to see if their
significant other would cheat, or is cheating. Checking their phone
messages, or email. Sneaking around, always suspecting. Relationships should
be built on trust. That is a HUGE factor if you plan on staying with
someone. If you find that you are doing these things, you should probably
re-evaluate your relationship. As for me you ask? Well, of course, I have had my rotten relationships, like anyone else. But I have learned to take things one day at a time. I used to look for love (in all the wrong places might I add) and it only made me realize that you can't and shouldn't look for it. That's what creates desperate people. Don't let love consume your life, because if you let it, it WILL. Love will come when it wants to whether you like it or not. It could be in the form of a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, or even a one night stand. You can't help the way you feel, nor can you control it. Thats just fate for ya. BUT - sometimes fate takes a 7 month vacation to the Bahamas, sending me into an endless swirling oblivion of potato chips, ice cream, and John Cusack movies with a box of tissue by my side. Theres nothing you can do but wait, and maybe take some "aspirin."

As much as a person tries to deny it, love controls EVERYTHING we do. It is
more than likely the MAIN reason, (but not the only reason) why you dye your
hair, buy new clothes, get contacts or braces, and diet. DIETS! Oh God the endless diets! How I can think all the time, "Well maybe if I lose 20 pounds, he will think I am hot and go out with me" is beyond me. LOGICALLY, thats an absolutely retarded thought. And besides, I NEVER lose the weight, and he NEVER ends up liking me anyways. The only comfort I have is knowing that I am NOT the only one who thinks that! (You KNOW you've been there before, don't even try to deny it) So anyways, It's the reason why you smell flowers, buy stuffed animals, jewelry, cards, and fuzzy please-for-the-love-of-god-touch-me sweaters. Loves revolves around everyday life. And it pisses me off because I can't control that aspect of my life. Just for one day, I don't want to feel like shit about myself because I don't have a boyfriend, or because I'm not as skinny as some of my hot girlfriends who all seem to have boyfriends. Or listen to the radio without wanting to pull over to vomit at the thought. I want to be able to go on the internet without ad's that pop up every 2 seconds about finding love. They might as well say "Single? Of course you are, your surfing the internet
instead of getting out off of your ass and trying to meet people you fatty!"

On the off chance that I am actually in a relationship, it has usually been
so long that I jump right into things. A common mistake among desperate
people. It had just been to long since I had gotten it on that I was blinded
momentarily by the sex. I know, of all people, a girl's gotta eat if ya know
what I mean, but after a while, the same old "food" tastes boring. Nothing
to fear, it usually resolves itself as soon as he starts to feel "too comfortable." (About a month or two) I am sure you know what I mean. Sitting
around in his underwear, eating garlic before you want to make out, or the worst - a loud fart, out of nowhere. That wreaks like hot garbage to top it off. Jesus Christ what did you eat, usually runs through your head as you struggle to stay conscious. It sneaks up on you and in what shouldn't be longer than a few seconds, (if it is, tell him to check in with the doc - nasty) he has totally and completely grossed you out in every aspect he possibly could. If nothing is said, more than likely it will evolve into belching, scratching himself in places you USED to find exciting, and lack of spontaneity. Either way, it all leads up to the classic breakup, which leaves me here - writing to you. And of course, more masturbation. It's a vicious goddamn cycle that will never end until you die. Isn't that positive? I thought so.

So, in conclusion, take my advice. Steer clear of love. Run away. Far, far
away. Chances are, it will do you more good in the end anyways. And whatever you do, don't get married. The thought of sleeping with one person for the rest of your life is just disturbing. We both know that. If you THINK you're in love....listen well. True love is a 10 inch cock. Nothing more. That is the feeling you're having. Easily confused with love, I know...but take heed. And stay single. I wish you the best of luck, and if you DO fall into the horrible depths of a relationship, don't say I didn't warn you...and maybe send one of his cute friends into my room while you're at it. Cause I know how to keep things simple.