in southern WV. My parents, ardent birders, excitedly told us as soon as we arrived that they'd seen a pileated woodpecker at the county park and packed us into their car to go see it. My family's way of expressing affection is joshing, so I started in immediately with "Oh yeah. Sure you did." As we drove around the park, with no woodpecker in sight, I started saying things like "Oh--look at the peacocks!" All this time, my boyfriend, who was anxious to make a good impression, glared at me across the back seat, unable to believe how rude I was being.

Then there it was. Magnificent, huge, Woody Woodpecker's cousin!

My boyfriend blurted "Son of a bitch!" and was immediately welcomed into the family with open arms.