Deshaun Watson Rethinks Life Choices After Finding Self On Browns

CLEVELAND—In the wake of news headlines detailing yet another scandal involving the NFL quarterback, Deshaun Watson admitted to reporters Wednesday that he was seriously rethinking his life choices after finding himself on the Cleveland Browns. “There’s no clearer sign that you’ve completely hit rock bottom than realizing you’re on the field at FirstEnergy Stadium,” said a visibly distraught Watson, adding that he hoped being on the Cleveland Browns roster provided the wake-up call he needed to finally turn his life around. “I went through some times when things got pretty bad, and I just ignored it and kept going.

But then one day, it hit me: I’m in the Cleveland Browns’ home locker room, and I have no one to blame but myself. In some ways, I’m grateful to end up here—it’s like the universe is trying to tell me something. Maybe you just have to find yourself in my position, realizing that everything you’ve done in life has led you to quarterbacking the Browns, to understand how bad things have truly gotten. I only hope there’s still time to get back on track, and maybe, if I work hard enough, I can end up in the NFC West someday.” At press time, Watson had reportedly gone on an angry drug-fueled binge after someone offered him a look at the rest of the Browns’ roster.

https://www.theonion.com/deshaun-watson-rethinks-life-choices-after-finding-self-1849004731