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MineralMan

(147,569 posts)
Sun Sep 16, 2018, 12:16 PM Sep 2018

Come Soon, Jesus, and Take Them All Away in the Rapture!

Dear Jesus, or whatever entity it may concern,

We can't wait any longer. Your followers are trying to destroy us all. So, if you're out there, which i don't believe, just take them away so we can fix the crap they've started. It didn't work. The experiment has failed. Your followers are despoiling the Earth, leaving the poor to starve or die, and punishing the foreigners in the land. Priests are raping children in your name and their leaders give tacit consent to it. Other followers of yours have elected an obscene, petty tyrant to rule over the nation. None of them listened to you, or perhaps you never existed at all. Either way, I beseech you or whomever to raise them up off the Earth and deal with them in whatever way you see fit, if you exist.

Just take them and leave the rest of us alone. We'll take care of fixing things. Nobody's seen any sign you for a couple of thousand years, so I don't think you exist, but just in case, if you're out there, please hear our pleas and relieve us of that burden. The plan, if ever there was one, has failed miserably.

Yours sincerely,

One Atheist among many...

Oh, and this is in case anyone missed that...

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Come Soon, Jesus, and Take Them All Away in the Rapture! (Original Post) MineralMan Sep 2018 OP
I'll second that. Harker Sep 2018 #1
Also, they should be kind to us. Pope George Ringo II Sep 2018 #2
Too late for that. There is no kindness in any of them. MineralMan Sep 2018 #3
Not again?!... NeoGreen Sep 2018 #4
"Nobody's seen any sign you for a couple of thousand years..." The Genealogist Sep 2018 #5
The fact that Revelation cultists exist is bad enough Major Nikon Sep 2018 #6
2,000 years since it was promised "soon" ... Bretton Garcia Sep 2018 #7
Everyone should have on of these... NeoGreen Sep 2018 #8

Harker

(14,926 posts)
1. I'll second that.
Sun Sep 16, 2018, 12:22 PM
Sep 2018

As a non-theistic, half-assed Buddhist, I think it would serve all sentient beings were it to happen.

Soon, I hope.

MineralMan

(147,569 posts)
3. Too late for that. There is no kindness in any of them.
Sun Sep 16, 2018, 12:32 PM
Sep 2018

But, we'll take care of their pets anyhow. Pets are generally kind and loving in themselves.

The Genealogist

(4,736 posts)
5. "Nobody's seen any sign you for a couple of thousand years..."
Mon Sep 17, 2018, 09:04 PM
Sep 2018

well, except for toast on occasion. Apparently Jesus like to appear on breakfast food.

Major Nikon

(36,900 posts)
6. The fact that Revelation cultists exist is bad enough
Mon Sep 17, 2018, 10:39 PM
Sep 2018

The fact they have managed to elect at least two members of congress and two governors is a testament(pardon the pun) to the stupidity of the average voter.

Bretton Garcia

(970 posts)
7. 2,000 years since it was promised "soon" ...
Tue Sep 18, 2018, 12:20 AM
Sep 2018

..."quickly," "at hand," within a "generation," and "near" in time (RSV), and the second coming has still not occurred.

So unfortunately, we can't realistically hope that Christians will be raptured away anytime soon. Though it's nice to think about.

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