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True Dough

(20,252 posts)
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 02:47 PM Jan 2019

Reclusive Deity Hasn't Written A New Book In 2,000 Years




NEW YORK—Leading writers, scholars, and publishers gathered this week at Fordham University for a literary conference and panel discussion on God, the widely praised but reclusive deity who has not published a book since His landmark debut 2,000 years ago.

Hailed by critics as one of the most important authors in recent millennia, the eccentric divinity is said to have long ago retreated from the public eye, eschewing a life of celebrity for one of solitude and quiet. To this day, experts confirmed, His artistic reputation rests exclusively upon His bestselling and highly acclaimed first work, the Bible.

“God has granted no interviews, made no public appearances, and kept entirely to Himself for what seems like ages, and yet it’s fair to say that no other author has been quite so influential,” said noted critic and conference attendee James Wood, observing that while the fiercely private immortal being has only one book to His credit, He remains among the world’s most respected and quoted writers. “For many readers, God’s writing had a transformative impact on their lives, and countless people list His book among their favorite titles. But for reasons that we can only speculate about, God has chosen to stay out of the limelight and let His words speak for themselves. Perhaps it is God’s retreat into His own world that allowed Him to render His vision so vividly on the page.”

“It’s also possible that, with the first book, He simply said everything He had to say,” Wood continued. “Though one would think a writer of such impressive knowledge and power would never lack for inspiration.”


https://entertainment.theonion.com/reclusive-deity-hasn-t-written-a-new-book-in-2-000-year-1819576927
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Reclusive Deity Hasn't Written A New Book In 2,000 Years (Original Post) True Dough Jan 2019 OP
I was expecting a story about GRRM (LOL) malchickiwick Jan 2019 #1
Game of Thrones True Dough Jan 2019 #2
Don't forget the Harry Potter series, either. MineralMan Jan 2019 #6
True. True Dough Jan 2019 #22
Not to mention the Beatles! Glamrock Jan 2019 #29
Let It Be! True Dough Jan 2019 #32
Look what happened the last time. No more bailouts. violetpastille Jan 2019 #3
Actually, his second book, the New Testament ... Bretton Garcia Jan 2019 #10
I love the onion Gothmog Jan 2019 #4
The last one was ghost-written, anyhow. MineralMan Jan 2019 #5
Not even that Major Nikon Jan 2019 #11
I know. I was making a joke. MineralMan Jan 2019 #14
According to "Misquoting Jesus", Mark was the oldest. MarvinGardens Jan 2019 #24
Unfortunately Glamrock Jan 2019 #30
A new new testiment is in proof now, publishers are waiting on the peer review sanatanadharma Jan 2019 #7
What? The Onion now says the Quran is unrelated to God? Igel Jan 2019 #8
They have to go to religion for material because tRump Ferrets are Cool Jan 2019 #9
I read that edhopper Jan 2019 #12
The Creator has inspired people to write literally thousands of books. guillaumeb Jan 2019 #13
That's just nonsense, guillaumeb. MineralMan Jan 2019 #15
Ah yes, your inspired insight into what prompted the writers to write. guillaumeb Jan 2019 #16
I am a writer, Guy. MineralMan Jan 2019 #17
A writer you say? guillaumeb Jan 2019 #18
It's a lot like metaphor, only funnier. marylandblue Jan 2019 #28
And seldom done well. eom guillaumeb Jan 2019 #35
"inspired people to write" mitch96 Jan 2019 #19
I understand your point. eom guillaumeb Jan 2019 #20
+1 My favorite religious text: violetpastille Jan 2019 #21
But where is the "proof", guillaumeb Jan 2019 #23
That's not a fact, it's an opinion, which is itself unprovable. marylandblue Jan 2019 #27
Some things like religion ... Bretton Garcia Jan 2019 #31
So your holy book is no different than Voltaire2 Jan 2019 #25
Different in narrative,perhaps. eom guillaumeb Jan 2019 #34
So has Harry Potter. trotsky Jan 2019 #36
Book o Mormon nonsense was written Voltaire2 Jan 2019 #26
Not really. Act_of_Reparation Jan 2019 #33

True Dough

(20,252 posts)
22. True.
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:53 PM
Jan 2019

Kids waving wands and casting spells instead of listening to stories of heaven, hell, limbo and purgatory.

They're better off.

violetpastille

(1,483 posts)
3. Look what happened the last time. No more bailouts.
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:00 PM
Jan 2019

The second coming of Christ if and when, will be Christ Consciousness for everyone.

No more prophets. No more gurus are coming. No more teachers.

We have had MORE than enough time to figure things out and learn to work together.

As the great Mariah Carey once said:


Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you.

Bretton Garcia

(970 posts)
10. Actually, his second book, the New Testament ...
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 04:16 PM
Jan 2019

.. constantly, slyly, changed, ""twisted," metaphoricalized, the first, Old Testament.

To the point that I read the second coming, the heaven-shattering Apocalypse, as the moment a Christian realizes it was all a ruse. And decides to give it all up for Reason and science and logic. The second and truer appearance.

MineralMan

(147,575 posts)
5. The last one was ghost-written, anyhow.
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:35 PM
Jan 2019

I'm pretty sure all of them were, actually. And then, they were badly translated, besides. God's not going to take up His divine time scribbling books, you know. He has people to do that for Him.

Major Nikon

(36,900 posts)
11. Not even that
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 04:28 PM
Jan 2019

They were oral traditions that nobody bothered to write down until decades, if not centuries after those with whom they are attributed to were long gone. At best they are 4th or 5th hand accounts of Jesus and probably more than that. Matthew and Luke were based on the same source material.

MarvinGardens

(781 posts)
24. According to "Misquoting Jesus", Mark was the oldest.
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 09:39 PM
Jan 2019

Others were probably embellished from that. And even Mark was copied over and over by scribes, the originals being long lost.

Glamrock

(11,994 posts)
30. Unfortunately
Mon Jan 28, 2019, 01:26 AM
Jan 2019

He delegated a lot of that to people wandering the desert by themselves for years at a time. Not a great idea for a publisher. I'm guessing a few of those ghost writers were a couple cans short of a six pack when they came out of the desert.

sanatanadharma

(4,074 posts)
7. A new new testiment is in proof now, publishers are waiting on the peer review
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:39 PM
Jan 2019

No valid reason to assume that the revelation is complete, nor to assume that the now-century knows the final complete word.
Nor to assume any god-thoughts are more than wisps of the wind.

God is like an onion unpeeled by theology, where-in every layer is the same as the next, until the realization comes that there is no there there. No center. The peeler is more real than the peeled.

Ferrets are Cool

(21,957 posts)
9. They have to go to religion for material because tRump
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 04:01 PM
Jan 2019

stole all their work since he and his admin has been in office.

edhopper

(34,790 posts)
12. I read that
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 06:35 PM
Jan 2019

I was very interested in the cosmology and history of the Universe and the earth. Since he was there for all that.

But he only gave us about 30 sentences and most of it is wrong.

14 billion years in one page.

MineralMan

(147,575 posts)
15. That's just nonsense, guillaumeb.
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:00 PM
Jan 2019

The authors might have believed that was the source of inspiration, but there is zero evidence of it.

MineralMan

(147,575 posts)
17. I am a writer, Guy.
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:11 PM
Jan 2019

Did you not know that? Books and everything.

You realize that the Onion is satire, right?

mitch96

(14,653 posts)
19. "inspired people to write"
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:13 PM
Jan 2019

That's what I thought... people wrote their interpretation, not god. They heard a good story and wrote it down. Now play the telephone game for a few hundred years and "POOF" it's the word of god. To me it's really just a nice story concocted by man... It gives hope..
YMMV and that's just me
m

violetpastille

(1,483 posts)
21. +1 My favorite religious text:
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:43 PM
Jan 2019

The liner notes to Coltrane's "Love Supreme".

Whether he believed he was inspired by gratitude to his Creator and whether there is evidence - I hear what I hear. I see what I see. I feel what I feel.

That's faith. (shrug emoji) What can you do?

guillaumeb

(42,649 posts)
23. But where is the "proof",
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:55 PM
Jan 2019

is the constant refrain for those who choose to ignore the fact that we all believe in unprovable things.

Bretton Garcia

(970 posts)
31. Some things like religion ...
Mon Jan 28, 2019, 06:06 AM
Jan 2019

... are far more improbable than other beliefs. Especially given flat disproofs of their more concrete claims. Like promises of all the miracles we ask for (John 14.13).

Voltaire2

(14,703 posts)
25. So your holy book is no different than
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 11:26 PM
Jan 2019

any of the other religiously inspired books written over the last two thousand years?

Voltaire2

(14,703 posts)
26. Book o Mormon nonsense was written
Sun Jan 27, 2019, 11:30 PM
Jan 2019

by the Mormon tooth fairy 150 years ago.

God, aka L Ron Hubbard, aka the Scientology tooth fairy, wrote the Dianetics gibberish not even 70 years ago.

Act_of_Reparation

(9,116 posts)
33. Not really.
Mon Jan 28, 2019, 08:35 AM
Jan 2019

If the story is true (which it isn't), Joe Smith just copied down a story that had been written down thousands of years earlier on the golden plates and then lost.

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