As Our Lives Slowly Fade Away...

My father, who is 94 years old, said yesterday, "We live too damned long."

He is watching his wife, my mother, slowly slip away from being the bright, sparkly woman he married almost 75 years ago. Her Alzheimer's dementia has robbed her of her memory and cognitive abilities. Day by day, she slips closer to a time when she will no longer even recognize my father. She is also 94 years of age.

Only in this time, with its advanced medical capabilities, would she still be alive. Only in this time would my father still be alive. Both have medical issues that would have meant their end years ago, were it not for modern medical care. As I watch the deterioration of them both, I sometimes wonder whether my father is not right when he says, "We live too damned long."

The last year, or few months, remaining to them are far removed from the happy life they had together for so many years. Now, it is pain, feebleness, and anguish over their quality of life that are their daily companions. I have watched my wife's parents go through the same thing. My sister, who is 72 years old, also has Alzheimer's dementia which is rapidly progressing, as well.

So far, I am free of cognitive deficits, and may have my father's resistance to it, thanks to genetics. I live far from my parents and cannot be with them nearly as much as I want to be. I speak to my father on the phone every day, but our calls are no longer about happy things, like their 14 great-grandchildren. All is sadness and pain.

Perhaps we do "live too damned long." It is not something that religion can fix, either. I have seen too many people fade away in similar ways who had great religious faith. It did not protect them from the suffering in any way. Religion did not ease their passage. It does not appear to be of any particular use at the end of life's journey, based on my observations.