Religion

bobbieinok

(12,858 posts) Wed May 8, 2019, 06:24 PM May 2019

Conservative retelling of 'loaves and fishes' story. Saw yrs ago

When boy brings up his lunch to jesus, Jesus holds it up and loudly praises the boy to the crowd--

'See, he prepared and planned ahead!'

Turning to boy, Jesus says 'Bless you my son, for preparing for the future and not just expecting other people to take care of you. And now go and enjoy your meal!'

And to the congregation 'Heed my words. Each of you take care of yourselves. Let your neighbors prepare take care of themselves.'

IIRC this interpretation was at blog called something like Liberals love Jesus.

It was told much better!

8 replies

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Conservative retelling of 'loaves and fishes' story. Saw yrs ago (Original Post) bobbieinok May 2019 OP

Except that the conservatives teach that the Bible is literally true. The Velveteen Ocelot May 2019 #1

veerrrry thinly sliced...nt uriel1972 May 2019 #2

wafer thin! (n/t) forgotmylogin May 2019 #4

an after-dinner mint anybody? uriel1972 May 2019 #5

And then a hungry group of people abqtommy May 2019 #3

just posted this on twitter PupCamo May 2019 #6

In the Republican version, MineralMan May 2019 #7

I'm not sure why we keep doing these. Act_of_Reparation May 2019 #8

The Velveteen Ocelot

(120,830 posts)

1. Except that the conservatives teach that the Bible is literally true.

Reply to bobbieinok (Original post)

Wed May 8, 2019, 06:31 PM

May 2019

Matthew 14:13-21 says Jesus fed five thousand people with five loaves and two fish. Is the Bible wrong, then?

uriel1972

(4,261 posts)

2. veerrrry thinly sliced...nt

Reply to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #1)

Wed May 8, 2019, 06:41 PM

May 2019

forgotmylogin

(7,676 posts)

4. wafer thin! (n/t)

Reply to uriel1972 (Reply #2)

Wed May 8, 2019, 06:55 PM

May 2019

uriel1972

(4,261 posts)

5. an after-dinner mint anybody?

Reply to forgotmylogin (Reply #4)

Wed May 8, 2019, 06:58 PM

May 2019

abqtommy

(14,118 posts)

3. And then a hungry group of people

Reply to bobbieinok (Original post)

Wed May 8, 2019, 06:51 PM

May 2019

beat the boy up, took his lunch and ate it!

PupCamo

(288 posts)

6. just posted this on twitter

Reply to bobbieinok (Original post)

Wed May 8, 2019, 07:00 PM

May 2019

disgusting

MineralMan

(147,575 posts)

7. In the Republican version,

Reply to bobbieinok (Original post)

Thu May 9, 2019, 09:03 AM

May 2019

Jesus says to the boy: "I see you have brought some food. Give it to me, and then go away. I'm famished!

Act_of_Reparation

(9,116 posts)

8. I'm not sure why we keep doing these.

Reply to bobbieinok (Original post)

Thu May 9, 2019, 10:15 AM

May 2019

I mean, it's not like the conservatives find this line of argumentation particularly compelling. They know their Bible better than moderates, and like orthodox believers of any faith, they are well acquainted with the loopholes that allow them to weasel their way out of theologically sticky situations.

You throw the loaves and fishes in their faces, and they'll just tell you that Jesus was exhorting his followers to be personally charitable, that not once did he demand compulsory "charity" through sweeping, official social programs. And he didn't. Which is unfortunate... the Earthly manifestation of the omniscient, omipotent God should have had more foresight.

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