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True Dough

(20,243 posts)
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 10:17 PM Dec 2022

Did Jesus poop?

Apparently this has been a theological debate for quite some time. I was blissfully unaware.

Why is everyone talking about this? Well there’s a lot at stake here. Much of early Christian theological debate is taken up with the issue of how Jesus is both a god and a human being. Early on there were some early Christians who thought that Jesus only “seemed” to have a human body but in reality was a god. You can see why Christians who held this position thought Jesus never went to the bathroom. This position, which is known as Doceticism, would come to be rejected as heresy, but those who wanted to argue that Jesus was truly human have to explain how the combination of humanity and divinity works. While they are doing that they are also trying to avoid the idea that the divinity in Jesus is somehow defiled by or corrupted by all the disgusting aspects of human bodies. Excrement, in particular, was just the kind of disgusting thing that people wanted to avoid.

As late as the fourth and fifth centuries A.D., a period when pretty much all Christians agree that Jesus had a real human body, Christians are still debating the poop question. Epiphanius, a late fourth century monk and bishop who spent a great deal of his time denouncing heretics, denies that Jesus ever eliminated solid waste (Panarion 77). Kelley Spoerl, a professor at St. Anselm College and the author of several important articles on this subject, told me that what’s interesting is the context in which Epiphanius does this. During this section of the Panarion he was fighting with a group of Christians known as Apollinarians. Apollinarians believed that Jesus did not have a rational human soul and Epiphanius (and all modern Christians) strongly rejected this idea. Where Epiphanius was willing to agree with the Apollinarians was on the question of bathroom visits. As Spoerl told me: “Epiphanius agrees with those Apollinarians who think Jesus did not excrete solid waste even though he disagrees with their other theories about Jesus’s lack of a rational human soul or the claim that Jesus’s body/flesh is somehow different from ours.” So once again you have theologians who disagree on other points of this issue ‘reaching across the aisle’ on the question of digestion.

What’s uniting these conversations about Jesus’ digestion, Spoerl told me “is a clear desire to affirm the historical, physical reality of Jesus’s body—but, in Epiphanius’s case, to avoid the perceived defilement that the body brings”

In order to make his case Epiphanius appeals to another well-known case in which people may not have excreted, namely, the Moses-led Israelites who wandered in the wilderness eating manna supplied by God. Rabbinic interpretations of what happened in the wilderness maintained that as the Israelites were eating “the bread of angels” (manna) they didn’t excrete it because it was “bread that is absorbed in the limbs” (Sifré to Numbers 88). Though Epiphanius doesn’t mention them, there were ancient Greeks who were also rumoured never to have gone to the bathroom. Dunderberg mentioned that two philosophers discussed in the ancient compilation Lives of the Philosophers never excreted solid waste either.

In part this conversation reflects a cultural abhorrence of excrement. It’s not so pleasant. Early Christian descriptions of hell describe people buried up to their necks in piles of the stuff. You can see why people don’t want to associate it with an incarnate deity.

Simultaneously, there are some serious medical underpinnings to the debate. Ancient medical thought about how digestion works seems to have been driving a lot of this conversation. Claire Bubb, a medical historian at the Institute for the Study of the Ancient World at NYU, told me that most ancient theories of digestion relied on the concept of heat and the individual capacity to produce it. “Aristotle, in whose theories heat plays a critical role in general, leans particularly hard into this correlation. Heat for him is unambiguously what turns ingested food into nourishment suitable for the body. Further, he believes that the degree of heat is variable in different individuals, but that some are closer to perfect than others.”

https://www.thedailybeast.com/did-jesus-poop
28 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Did Jesus poop? (Original Post) True Dough Dec 2022 OP
I certainly hope so. Assuming, of course he was. Srkdqltr Dec 2022 #1
If not, True Dough Dec 2022 #6
I just read about a Catalonian Nativity tradition AZSkiffyGeek Dec 2022 #2
there is a poop question, but not a pee question? NewHendoLib Dec 2022 #3
Maybe True Dough Dec 2022 #5
But does the Pope edhopper Dec 2022 #4
Which one? True Dough Dec 2022 #8
Yes. RandySF Dec 2022 #7
Thank you! True Dough Dec 2022 #9
Even if you believe in His divinity RandySF Dec 2022 #10
He could miraculously hold it indefinitely, but why do that? Marcuse Dec 2022 #11
Kim Jung Un doesn't poop, maybe Trump doesn't either they are both doc03 Dec 2022 #12
I don't know, but it wasn't me! dchill Dec 2022 #13
All I can observe is, a lot of his followers are full of it . . . Journeyman Dec 2022 #14
No shit. rubbersole Dec 2022 #15
So, basically, Jesus didn't give a shit Effete Snob Dec 2022 #16
I would submit that he could, but that it did not stink. Gore1FL Dec 2022 #17
Fine Irish whiskey. ret5hd Dec 2022 #18
Yes because there is no such thing as divinity. Except for the fudge. LakeArenal Dec 2022 #19
There was a radio program, WMCA, N.Y.C., probably 1970's. The station went from pop. to talk. 3Hotdogs Dec 2022 #20
You're more likely True Dough Dec 2022 #24
Please. If Jesus wept then he had functioning human portals. Frasier Balzov Dec 2022 #21
And while he was cumming True Dough Dec 2022 #23
Holy Shit?! Doc Sportello Dec 2022 #22
What about the floor? Frasier Balzov Dec 2022 #25
Jesus was deified well after his death Major Nikon Dec 2022 #26
Of the many things I have pondered... 3catwoman3 Dec 2022 #27
Let's put it another way: True Dough Dec 2022 #28

AZSkiffyGeek

(12,598 posts)
2. I just read about a Catalonian Nativity tradition
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 10:31 PM
Dec 2022

Of having a figure shitting in the background of the nativity. Maybe they needed someone to make up for baby Jesus?

True Dough

(20,243 posts)
8. Which one?
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 10:39 PM
Dec 2022

Apparently there have been 266 popes throughout history. The ones named Pius, I don't even think you could say "shit" in their presence.

Regardless, I'm sure they all broke wind after breaking bread.

RandySF

(70,614 posts)
10. Even if you believe in His divinity
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 10:42 PM
Dec 2022

He took human form. He thirsted, ate, drank, wept, bled. Surely he used the bathroom.

Gore1FL

(21,883 posts)
17. I would submit that he could, but that it did not stink.
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 11:21 PM
Dec 2022

When one's blood is wine, I wonder what bilirubin looks like.

3Hotdogs

(13,394 posts)
20. There was a radio program, WMCA, N.Y.C., probably 1970's. The station went from pop. to talk.
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 11:44 PM
Dec 2022

This guy comes on the air, free associating.... I wonder if God has a willy. Man is made in the image of God. Men have willy's. Does God have one? I wonder if he plays with his willy. .....

The guy was soon off the air.

Now that question has more significance than if Jesus took a shit -- or many shits.... or a shit a day...

Because, the priests told me I shouldn't play with my willy. So if God has a willy and he plays with it.... What da fuck?

Frasier Balzov

(3,480 posts)
21. Please. If Jesus wept then he had functioning human portals.
Tue Dec 13, 2022, 11:46 PM
Dec 2022

However, the question of Did Jesus Cum must surely follow.

Major Nikon

(36,900 posts)
26. Jesus was deified well after his death
Wed Dec 14, 2022, 01:52 AM
Dec 2022

There’s absolutely no mention of Jesus being any sort of deity in the synoptic gospels. What they do mention is Jesus claiming to be the messiah, which no Jew of that time would consider to be a god even if they accepted him as the messiah.

Jesus was deified much later as a matter of convenience since that elevated his status among gentiles who had no care about a messiah to the Jewish people.

So if you assume Jesus existed as some sort of Rabbi with a messianic claim, then yes he shat, he also most certainly had sexual relationships, masturbated, and did the helicopter with his penis a time or two.

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