that a tray of little shot glasses filled with red wine was passed around, and a tray of little pieces of bread at our Presbyterian service. He said "cocktails, hors d'oevres, how nice". LOL! He was obviously not familiar with how us Presbyterians do communion.

So I know just what you mean. The Lutheran church uses wafers on a tray. The Presbyterians use bread.

The Presbyterians used to dip the bread in a cup (intinction), but decided that individual glasses were better.

issue for me as I don't attend church. I'm glad I went as a kid but my life is too complex to attend. My god is nature and my ancestors. So I spent alot of time going on drives in leafy neighborhoods or the countryside or thinking about the lives of my ancestors.

I've run into common cup at other churches, but at my Episcopal church we lineup and kneel, they pass the bread, say the blessing and everyone eats, then they do the same thing w/ the little shot glasses.
As to confession, it's offered and there is a confessional in the back, but I've never seen anyone use it.
My experience was it was a combination of high Lutheran and Roman Catholic as far as the service, which is exactly what I was looking for because I crave the spectacle and ritual of high church, with plenty of social justice activism and no guilt.
And now, the fact that they're affirming is a big selling point as well.

Covid crisis hit, and so many of them had issues on being safe vs. their usual practices. A lot of them refused to be safe, stating that they would be fine regardless of not implementing common sense practices that would make things safer. As a result, I recall some congregations getting sick from Covid as a result.

To admit, I wasn't surprised that they chose to not be safe and as a result, expose their members to the potential of Covid (as well as other highly communicable diseases. And I suspect that some would continue this practice (exposing everyone).

This is one reason that I don't participate any longer in some churches, unless they have adopted different practices in abating the spread of disease.

It's a shame and the Episcopal church is not by far the only one that doesn't practice safety. A lot of 'Mom and Pop'/smaller churches do not practice procedures to ensure safety either (usually decided by the Pastor, committee or congregation on what they want to do).

So it's left to you mostly. Go to another church if need be. Your life may depend on it.

Most parishes in my diocese still have hybrid services, and we're completely closed during the pandemic.

Usually for better, but sometimes worse, the diocesan bishops have a very strong influence on their parishes. This has permitted advances in LGBTQ issues, women in ministry, and so on. But I imagine a pandemic-minimizing bishop could lead in that way too.

Because of the communion and confession practices there, I would never have joined.

We are not Episcopal, but come from several different Protestant backgrounds. In our communion, we are given a wafer to dip into the cup of wine. I have not seen anyone drinking from the cup.

Secondly, confession has never been discussed. I have never “confessed” nor witnessed it.

dipping the water into wine was more unsanitary because people's fingertips touch the wine in the process. I Iooked it up online and that was confirmed in the article that I read.

My church uses individual glasses in a tray. There are a nurse instructor and a doctor in the congregation. They initiated the change from dipping to individual glasses during the pandemic and it has remained in practice. Glasses on a tray was the practice in the church that I grew up in, too.

In my experience, the common cup is standard practice, with intinction/dipping being a common variant -- especially if someone was raised Roman Catholic.

It is also very acceptable to decline the cup, which people do if they don't drink alcohol and there's no non-alcoholic wine available. Crossing one's arms over one's chest in an X signals that clearly, and the priest will give a quick blessing. Then extend hands for the bread. During the pandemic after vaccines (required in the parishes I attended), it was bread-only for a long time for everyone.

As far as confession, I've only gone to anglo-catholic parishes -- "smells and bells," high liturgy, often sung services. Individual confession was rare, maybe once a year or so, or perhaps on a retreat. Again, people who grew up Roman Catholic seemed more likely to include individual confession in their personal practices.

I was raised Methodist -- thimbles of grape juice and all! Joining the Episcopal Church as a grad student, even though I served on altar staff for a year, I never felt pressured to do something I wasn't comfortable with.

Long story short-ish: if you find most of the service meaningful, but sharing the chalice squicks you out; and individual confession is off-putting...you get to participate as you are comfortable. If clergy are judgy, that's them, not the Episcopal Church.

those questions in the OP. I wondered if what I encountered was typical Anglican practice or just the clergy at one church.

I was only visiting there. There are other reasons why I would not have joined. It just was not the right place for me.

Worshipping in "Spirit and truth" doesn't always mean worshipping in church.

sharing the experience with others, of having a mutual support system, and of working with others in community service activities.