+1000000!!!!

In my Circle, we are holding the same lessons for the month, it just happens to be what is coming across from the Elders, no coincidence...

We can ONLY walk the new Earth in a state of constant reverence and prayer, meaning constantly re-aligning to our Heart Center and asking our guides/Great Spirit "okay, what is the next step to walk in harmony and serve my purpose" everything seems to be screaming at us to get INTO our bodies and get BUSY walking that sacred walk, no exclusions, no judgements, no lessons, just walking forward, in synch with Spirit and being of SERVICE (by serving your purpose in love and reverence)

It' is sometimes difficult for me because my body is such a stumbling block for me, having a chronic illness and sometimes feeling like
"i just CAN'T do it!"...but if I get past the part of me that judges my body or my life or my illness, i see the path becomes clear. And that the challenges physically are there to -slow me down- and make me honor and nurture my body and soul interconnection. I must love my planet, must love my earthwalk in order to DO it. This human suit is my vehicle here, and it is also what connects me to the planet, and hence, to Spirit....

I've had the opportunity to revisit the most significant relationships in my life, either with surrogates or the actual people. It was very, very good to be able to make the right decisions this time and end up in a place of peace about all of them. So I'm happily anticipating whatever comes next, after so many years of working consciously to be the person I am now.

moon I'm taking it very personally...life is too short to waste on anything that is not genuine and worthy.
Hold your family and loved ones close & make your way through the unworthy and selfish - this too shall pass, keep your eyes on the prize.

re-visiting and, in many cases, revising and putting to rest old relationships - or, in some cases, renewing dormant ones.

Now feeling like I'm "floating" through life - like, literally, that I'm floating directionless in the ocean. If I happen to find myself floating towards land, I will exert a little energy and swim that direction...but I'm still not sure what my final destination is.

Last edited Wed Oct 10, 2012, 09:08 PM - Edit history (1)

Even before I read this post and the one by Felix I was actually remarking to myself about the vast emptiness I feel. But of course it's so much more than that.

Here's the thing, the last two years haven't been the greatest, marriage,blah,blah,blah, but at least I felt more connected to the spiritual aspect of myself. Oh, God, How I miss not having to explain everything about what I'm doing coming and going. I am feeling like I may never get my own place. I think Im having a panic attack as I write.

Moving away to be near family, I have felt comforted and loved but also criticized, suffocated and much like I've moved in with the worst traits of both my parents in one-my sister. I haven't felt very creative, and big non plus for me!

I had so many other thoughts to add..I .. I mean it's always hopeful right? I've got a consultant looking over a business plan that would help me be SO me! Giant fingers crossed for funding.

All the pain that my daughter's gone through with this move makes my goals seem really empty though..
Like what's the point of any of it, if hearts are broken beyond repair, but things always change,I know.. but yes for now, I got a major big vast emptiness going on, like no matter what job I get or what house I may move into, I may be still lost in a fog I can't fathom.that I'm looooost......

I wonder if I hadn't made the move where I would be....Maybe less lost..

Sorry about the whining..

Hearts would have been broken if you'd stayed, but perhaps with longer-lasting damage because you did nothing to make things better. You can only take it a step at a time, a day at a time. That isn't a cliche, it's a reality. Let time do its work, and keep doing your best. You'll be okay and so will your kids. I expect they'll someday thank you for having the strength to make hard choices.

I know all that logically. I was really not myself yesterday, but then according to this thread we should get used to the shedding of old selves. Yes,yes, one day at a time, sometimes even one hour at a time. Bless you my dear!

with respect and gentleness, review them for their basis, the likelihood of their happening, trying to act *on* instead of *in* fear. As much as possible being in the moment. Dahli is good at helping me with that

I even have experienced weeks of time where I feel strong and not frightened. And not just acting "not frightened" in the hopes that it will catch on internally.

Saturn agrees with you

surprises some people eh? It had a bad press agent for many centuries.

Saturn IS the man.

Good for you

the script mode.

I really seem to get it- that this is it- no endless future to strive for, save for, give up everything so it will be OK for.

This is it and I need rest, supportive friends and allies, and fun. Yes fun- a very novel concept that I have never been comfortable asking for myself. I was supposed to save the world!

Now I want to do that, but with a bunch of fun friends.

I am even going to ride my horse again- my beautiful 20 yr old mare who needs her exercise as much as I need mine!

And there are many other personal stories that need rewriting. I am on those as well.

The new script..... I feel like a writer!

Just going through life's motions when I'm not working or doing stuff with my dog.

I feel a bitterness and anger. I feel as though what I give is taken for granted and only more is demanded from me. I feel like I'm breaking down physically and that my prime is slipping away without me doing what I think I should be doing and only what I must be doing to continue my life.