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kimmerspixelated

(8,423 posts)
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 09:29 PM Jan 2013

Soul Mate- What is the best definition?

Sometimes I think I know, other times I'm not so sure.

Does a soul mate hurt you emotionally?

Are they just meant to challenge you, but nurture, too?

Of course, I know they aren't just the rose-colored perfect mates, it's more layered than that.

Also, do you have more than one?

What are your experiences?

16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Soul Mate- What is the best definition? (Original Post) kimmerspixelated Jan 2013 OP
Member of your soul group get the red out Jan 2013 #1
Soul mates and soul groups... kimmerspixelated Jan 2013 #2
Interesting experience I had Kookaburra Jan 2013 #5
This might be helpful... Sweet Freedom Jan 2013 #3
I must be getting old Matariki Jan 2013 #6
I think it's usually a projection of one's anima/animus. Matariki Jan 2013 #4
Soul Mate piscesgurl Jan 2013 #7
Found this: kimmerspixelated Jan 2013 #8
I don't really know Why Syzygy Jan 2013 #9
Why do you ask? shill baby shill... Jan 2013 #10
Funny you'd bring this up Proud_Lefty Jan 2013 #11
Personally, I think the whole idea of a "soulmate" is SheilaT Jan 2013 #12
Lots of good stuff here. kimmerspixelated Jan 2013 #13
I would respectfully suggest that the challenges of that relationship SheilaT Jan 2013 #15
I think you're right about this. kimmerspixelated Jan 2013 #16
This message was self-deleted by its author mlauer59295 Jan 2013 #14

get the red out

(13,598 posts)
1. Member of your soul group
Sat Jan 19, 2013, 09:39 PM
Jan 2013

I have read that and it always resonated with me. I think there is more than one for each of us and how we interact depends on lessons and circumstances in this life. Just my 2 cents😏.

I have woken up in the night when my husband was coming to bed and had trouble recognizing him on a number of occasions. I see him playing a different role in my life for a half asleep second and wonder why this person is getting in bed with me. I really feel this is because we have had different roles in previous lives together.

Kookaburra

(2,649 posts)
5. Interesting experience I had
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 11:34 AM
Jan 2013

When my older brother was dying in the hospital, it was the wee hours of the morning, and I was alone with him holding his hand. He had already slipped into a coma, so I wasn't sure if he could hear me or not, but anyway, I suddenly had a vision or possibly a dream of the two of us as sisters, and the roles were changed -- I was the sick one and he (she) was caring for me in a hospital (although this looked more like a mental facility). The feeling I got from the dream was that we were extremely religious, and I couldn't handle the fact that I was psychic, and had let everyone convince me I was insane. This soul was the only one who understood I was not crazy, and devoted her (his) life to caring for me.

Also, in a past life regression I saw myself as a young child, and the soul who is my younger brother in this lifetime was my father in that lifetime. I died quite young (5 or 6) from asthma, and he was inconsolable over it. Here's the thing, though, he was my adoptive father, which makes me believe that we end up together whether we start out that way or not.

My point is, the concept of soul groups with whom we play out these 3D dramas feels right to me. It also explains why we recognize people we've only met for the first time.

Matariki

(18,775 posts)
6. I must be getting old
Mon Jan 21, 2013, 03:35 PM
Jan 2013

I have a hard time taking spiritual advice from an 18 yr old very seriously, lol.

Matariki

(18,775 posts)
4. I think it's usually a projection of one's anima/animus.
Sun Jan 20, 2013, 02:39 AM
Jan 2013

And since it's a projection, it doesn't usually work out well relationship-wise.

piscesgurl

(1 post)
7. Soul Mate
Tue Jan 22, 2013, 07:12 PM
Jan 2013

A true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life. <3
E.Gilbert

kimmerspixelated

(8,423 posts)
8. Found this:
Thu Jan 24, 2013, 11:19 PM
Jan 2013
http://www.devinemiracles.com/soul-mates.html

Signs of a True Soul-Mate:

Instant magnetism,that you BOTH share
Unexplainable feeling of connection that is very deep right from the start.
A calm atmosphere, and inner calm.
There is instant trust
There is instant lifting of spirit
There is no nervousness
There are no judgments
There is patience & encouragement
There is a shoulder to cry on
You are never made to feel bad or lower than them
There is great equality
You think very much alike
Sex is optional-never forced or expected.
There is gentleness towards each other.
This person will also be your best friend
Will never restrict you
Loves you for YOU not just your physical appearance

Why Syzygy

(18,928 posts)
9. I don't really know
Fri Jan 25, 2013, 06:08 PM
Jan 2013

what a soulmate is. But I stumbled into this at facebook....

Friendship

In the course of the years a close friendship will always reveal the shadow in the other as much as ourselves, to remain friends we must know the other and their difficulties and even their sins and encourage the best in them, not through critique but through addressing the better part of them, the leading creative edge of their incarnation, thus subtly discouraging what makes them smaller, less generous, less of themselves. Through the eyes of a real friendship an individual is larger than their everyday actions, and through the eyes of another we receive a greater sense of a self we can aspire to, the one in whom they have most faith. Friendship is a moving frontier of understanding, not only of self and other but of a possible and as yet unlived future.

- David Whyte
excerpted from Readers' Circle Essay, "Friendship"
©2011


 
10. Why do you ask?
Sat Jan 26, 2013, 09:39 PM
Jan 2013

Are you wanting one?

I have been in a relationship for 30 years with a man who is my best friend. However, I think it's very important to be realistic about love. So many women have childish notions about what a good marriage/partnership entails.

Proud_Lefty

(1,553 posts)
11. Funny you'd bring this up
Sat Jan 26, 2013, 11:14 PM
Jan 2013

I spent years looking for my soul mate. The first man I talked marriage with was the one I married 24 years ago, and we're still together. The weird thing about it, though, is that over the past 5 years, I feel we're co-existing. We get along great, never fight, but the things we really enjoy was so different. He's definitely my significant other for this lifetime, but my soul mate? I don't think so. During a reading I had a while back, it was disclosed that my mother was my soul mate. She was my mother in this life time, but my soul mate on a universal level. Boy, did that stop me and make me think. I turned my back on her for years while I was looking for Mr. Right. I'm now with Mr. Right, and her life is over. She was my best friend. No one can replace her. You never know who that soul mate is in this life time. You have to think more outside the box (I think).

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
12. Personally, I think the whole idea of a "soulmate" is
Sat Jan 26, 2013, 11:22 PM
Jan 2013

not a useful one.

A lot of people, women mostly, seem to think that a "soulmate" is the perfect person for them, and that if they can just find their soulmate then they'll be happy forever.

From everything I've read (and I must say, the Michael Newton books are incredibly useful and enlightening in my opinion) the entire idea of a soulmate is neither useful nor accurate. We all have souls that we are connected to. We belong to a primary soul group and over the course of many lifetimes we'll have interactions and therefore connections with dozens, hundreds, and even thousands of other souls. Yes, there are some we're far more closely connected to than others. But to think that a soulmate is the one person we're supposed to spend our lives with here, preferably in bliss, is probably not true.

It's my understanding that we are here in this lifetime to fulfill the goals that we set for ourselves before we ever came here. Those goals are probably very complex, and involve the interactions of many others. Some of the people we connect with are here to help us, others are here to challenge us. Over the course of a long lifetime we will have many different goals.

Think back on your lifetime. If you're over even the age of 20, think about how much has changed already. I'm 64. I was married for 25 years, raised two sons, and then my husband met someone he decided he'd rather be with. I often say that it was only after twenty-five years of marriage that he (my now ex) finally met his true soul mate. Yes, I'm still somewhat angry about what happened, but I try very hard instead to focus on what was good during that time, and even more on our two wonderful sons. If I have a "soulmate" it's my best friend Don, a man I worked for nearly ten years with starting back in 1972. We never had a romantic relationship, but I constantly refer to him as my best friend in the entire world. In his life, he's never married. We live about 1500 miles apart, and very rarely see each other. But that does not affect the degree of friendship and affection we have for each other.

Perhaps the experience of a soulmate is highly individual. I don't doubt that for some they meet that perfect persona and life is wonderful forever after. But if we really are here to learn lessons and to grow spiritually (which I firmly believe) then all the trials and tribulations we do experience are all a part of that.

kimmerspixelated

(8,423 posts)
13. Lots of good stuff here.
Mon Jan 28, 2013, 09:14 PM
Jan 2013

For myself, it wasn't a romantic question at all. I'm trying to make sense of a relationship(familial)
that may have been soul-mate-y. I'm thinking it has always been instructive, but if a soulmate is more loving and less critical or destructive ,then this family member wasn't a soul-mate, right? And yet, I'm still quite puzzled by it all. This person was difficult to say the least, and we seemed to push each others buttons. The trouble began when I finally stood up for myself, though and everything's different, now.

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
15. I would respectfully suggest that the challenges of that relationship
Thu Jan 31, 2013, 01:49 AM
Jan 2013

involve lessons you and the other person needed to learn. Don't even focus on the idea of a soul mate, or even thinking in terms of whether or not that person would be a soul mate. To do so is to miss the actual point of your relationship. This is just my opinion.

Myself, I often think of things that have happened in terms of, "What am I supposed to learn?" And rarely can I come up with a sensible answer to that question. So I just try to let it go, behave the best I can, and get on with my life. I try very hard to treat others with dignity and respect, and if I can do that consistently, I think I'm doing something right.

kimmerspixelated

(8,423 posts)
16. I think you're right about this.
Thu Jan 31, 2013, 10:17 PM
Jan 2013

Yes, separating the ideas are tantamount. We're all here to learn.

Earth School.

Response to kimmerspixelated (Original post)

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