I certainly see what you mean. It's all around and it is letting go as best it can, but not without pain.

"accept into our fold"

Your newsletter and Feb. This past month has been very draining, to say the least.

As I am writing I feel like a wet rag doll.

I am wiped out today, feels like yesterday I held the tension and weight of the world on my shoulders and today I'm sore and wrung out...

eom

I was struck by that one phrase, "It's sad; we have to let it go." I could not tell--was that an acknowledgment of everybody's angst and fear at the idea of ANY sort of change? I can't say I'd miss the NRA too much should they melt down and run away. I'm pretty sure that if the GOP could maybe moderate their wing-nut factions' impact we'd all feel a lot better. Come to think of it--I'm pretty sure our nation as a whole would be a lot better off if our politics took a turn toward civility and service to the people. It'd be nice if we'd quit shooting at each other and if we'd all figure out that we are, in fact, all related, and (Hoo boy!) wouldn't it be mighty cool to live in a time when all the different religions quit bickering and focused, instead, on helping us all find our own divinity

I have to admit that I'm a "plodder" a lot of the time. I keep on keeping on, and I've let fear of the unknown chain me into all kinds of unhappy things in my life. I've always assumed that everybody was that way to some degree. It's only been in the last couple years that I was willing to go out on a little limb--and even THAT has felt pretty strange at times. I've made progress, but I know there is more change ahead for me. The really BIG change has been that I'm even willing to take these steps--make these changes voluntarily. I am not only making changes, but I'm (dare I tempt fate by saying this?) happy about it!

I still get nervous at the idea that come June One my current term will end and I'm gonna go someplace different to work every day--and that is in spite of the realization that I will not be unemployed. I have got ways to earn a living and that doesn't keep me on edge. Fear of the unknown keeps me on edge, and even that is nowhere near the anxiety that it would have been a couple of years ago..

I've worked to transition that office as much as possible because I know full well that I am not gonna be there any more. Dunno for sure WHERE I am gonna be, but it won't be there. I'm not leaving anything or anyone hanging, I'm not stomping out, I'm just DONE.

I can't begin to tell you how amazingly good it feels to be able to say that. I'm DONE. I'm done, I'm done, I'm DONE!!!! Heck yeah! I. Am. DONE. It is like getting out of jail, falling in love, getting laid, having a baby, and eating a huge dinner without any calories. It is a sunrise with a glass of Dom.

I only wonder why I held on so long.

I also wonder if maybe once this is all past us maybe the world as a whole will look at this time and wonder why we ALL held on for so long...

Love you!




Laura

I was referring to several 40-year-relationships that had to go. I thought they never would, but the Tea Party
got to their brains first and I'm losing friends like crazy. That's sad to me.

But, God is filling in with wonderful people like you. I am filled with spirit and proud and happy
to be amongst this group which can see. Next newsletter in a few minutes.
Thank you Laura

Sometimes anybody can take a wrong turn or two. With any luck they'll "drive 'round the block" and realize they need directions. If not, maybe it can provide some comfort to view the people in our world as being like the planets. Sometimes they are gonna be in your orbit, sometimes they are not. You or them moving on is blameless--it's just what your "job" is. Nothing says you all won't be back in orbit with each other on down the path--maybe sooner maybe later. Sounds kinda simplistic, I know, but there have been times in my life when I mourned someone's departure or felt anger about it and they turned back up again later and we had more time with each other.

You are 100% right when you talk about how we are gifted with new people in our lives. I can't begin to list the people that have come into my life over the last few years that have become dear to me! Being able to recognize that is a gift unto itself.




Hang in there!


Laura

could make you millions as an astrologer, that's the entire question
all about the illusion of separateness
now, about the getting laid part.....

hee hee
love you

this week alone has been a gut wrencher...the BF is 'taking a step back' to let me get grounded get back into my routine, but also a LOT of old stuff is popping to the surface. Had a total PTSD day yesterday and I haven't been triggered in YEARS. I suspect he's probably dealing with stuff too on his own level...

I need a good dose of HOPE, thanks for the heads up Rick!

I can't even begin to put in writing how much I want to kick myself for wasting years and years of my life doing nothing when I knew this was coming, and now 'the time is here' and it's too late to change trajectories ... my bridges are burned & my alliances have faded ... so here I sit, feeling old & wasted. And really depressed about the future.

dying away in my (and my husband's) life.

Things mostly: car, computer, cell phone, although our older friends are not doing as well as we had hoped.

These are not easy transitions. The challenges just keep a happening as he said this morning.

January has been a real mess. Of all people on this planet, I lost all faith -- to the point of contemplating suicide more than once. I've never, EVER been that low before. I've never, EVER felt that depth of despair and pain. Was it planetary? Don't know. Don't care, really, as long as it's over and not coming back. It has been horrible.

Backatcha.