Leonard Cohen.


Cher

I love him.

Comparing yourself to other people to determine your self-worth is unhealthy and will make you sad and anxious, but is also not a sin."

Of course comparing yourself to other people to determine your self-worth often leads to using other people for your own ends, which very well might be the base motivation for everything that is a sin.

It's okay. Really.

Last edited Fri Aug 30, 2013, 07:41 PM - Edit history (1)

but aren't these the devils:

paranoia, judgments, jealousy, self-doubt or worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. and why would I want to feed them at all?

is it saying that if I am paranoid I should enjoy ice cream or go have indiscriminate kinky sex with a stranger because I have doubts?

I feel dumb. I do not get this at all.

What I mean is that for me, personally, there's a part of me that is like a bunch of hungry mouths and they want negative, destructive things. They feed off me worrying about what everyone thinks of me, and if my project is going to fail, and if someone misunderstood that thing I said, and if my headache means I have a brain tumor. But these mouths, these little devils, they are just as satisfied by an evening of margaritas, zombie flicks, and some bondage experimentation with my husband.

Or another way to put it is, it's much harder to eliminate something, and much easier to redirect something. If I think - stop doing that! Stop thinking that! That's really hard. But if I just go have some fun, and give myself liberty to be indulgent from time to time, well that's easy.

Or another way to say it is that rather than fighting and trying to eliminate your little devils that fill you with destructive thoughts, say "Hey! Look over there! Ropes and Patron and Haagen-Dazs!"

When I first started the type of meditation taught in the book shown below, there were some very powerful dreams.

In one of them, a little boy was throwing bricks at my windows. I went downstairs to check it out. A female police officer was there and arrested him. Meanwhile, a search of his/my apartment found lots of sharp weapons, a big round saw, knives, pikes, etc. Those were the weapons he used on me. He, a destructive force, was now neutralized.

I recommend this book for anyone who thinks.


http://www.buddhistrecovery.org/media/name/TheTaoofSobriety.htm

Selected excerpts:

The Tao of Sobriety in a Nutshell: A Handy Crib Sheet (p. 173)
[Only the first five of eleven points are provided here]

1. Alcohol and drugs mitigate your experience of reality. If you have become dependent on alcohol and drugs, you are running from problematic aspects of your own experience.

>>>>>> !!!!!
2. Your mind is a space where many competing internal conversations vie for power.
3. You can elect a mental manager who takes a stand for maximizing love and well-being for yourself and others.
4. Your manager is up against some ferocious mind demons who preach negative messages of guilt, shame, and hopelessness.
5. To tame this unruly bunch of naysayers, your manager needs to learn mindfulness – the practice of detached observation.

otherwise one is just substituting one devil for another devil. not to say that Patron, icecream and sex are devils, per se but, they do stand a chance of becoming one if are not really solving the original issue and just ignoring it and focusing on pleasure.

#5 ... detached observation, yes.

This makes more sense to me.

I am really not advocating substance abuse. Although I am fond of exploring the limits of different types of experiences in moderation.

Really, my OP was meant with whimsy.

I'm not sure what triggered me to post that. I do love that book, though. It's for a certain behavior, but it applies to anything that threatens our well-being. I don't think dark chocolate, whatever sex interests you, even a little shopping trip pose a threat. Those are simple pleasures, and if they satisfy, what harm? Maybe you meant, there are worse things than 'guilty' little pleasures. That's mindfulness. Self destruction usually comes out of nowhere. We think.

...that path. And mindfulness is a great word.

I mainly want to stop beating myself up. This was one of my musings as I struggle woth this issue, and I liked it.

But this conversation has made me consider the issue of escapism - which likeliest things, is only good in moderation.

Fed mine that dark chocolate ice cream earlier. He really liked it!

I've been absent from the ASAH forum and look at what I'm missing! Great stuff you're posting rbnyc!

I love coming back to this place.