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rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
Sat Aug 31, 2013, 10:10 PM Aug 2013

Valley of Death

I'm in the backseat of a car. My mother is driving. Her new boyfriend is in the passenger seat. We are on a dark and windy rural road. My mother is driving too fast. She keeps nearly rear-ending cars she approaches, and nearly hitting oncoming cars when she tries to pass people, or veers into the wrong lane by taking curves too fast. I am very angry at her. I keep yelling at her. "Slow down! Can you even see?!"

I insist she pulls over. Her new boyfriend seems surprisingly normal. I ask him if he can drive. (I can't drive. This is true.) I ask him if he can see. He can do both so I say, "You drive. Otherwise, you can just leave me here, in the middle of nowhere. I don't care. She is not driving any more."

So he drives. I am still in the backseat and my mother is in the passenger seat. The boyfriend seems to be a decent driver, and I feel safer, though I'm still mad at my mom.

Suddenly, we go flying off the road into this tremendously deep ditch. We are falling down the ditch, which is narrowing. It's lined with old tires that begin to break our fall. As our descent slows, I realize we will not be hurt in this crash, which is a relief.

When the car stops, we can't open the doors. I roll down my window. I tell them that I'll climb out and get help. But my mother rolls my window halfway back up, opens the glove box which is full of old keys and key chains. She starts hanging these old keys on the window. Some of them are mine. I'd lost them years ago and never knew what had happened to them.

I am so angry at my mother, not only because she's been hoarding my lost keys, but because hanging them on my window while I'm trying to climb out is so irrational and unproductive. I throw the keys on the floor, roll down the window and climb out, yelling at her the whole time about how useless, obstructive, crazy and unwanted she is.

When I try to climb out, the tires slope and I fall down. I end up under the car.
I follow a narrow path and emerge into a dark valley. It's a trailer park, surrounded by these deep, tire-lined ditches.

A dog is barking because I am an intruder here. An old couple grabs the dog and retreats into their trailer. I go and knock on their door to ask for help. They won't answer.

I start walking around, trying to find a spot where I can get a signal on my phone. This valley is very deep. The sky seems very far away. I come across many trapped cars,like ours. It looks like some have been there a long time. I know this is bad.

I finally get a signal and am about to call for help, but I see a teenage girl is watching me. I realize that she will attack if she thinks I am calling for help. So I put the phone in my pocket and walk up to her saying, "I can't get a signal. Can you get a signal?"

She pulls this kind of cell phone shaped compact out of her pocket, opens it, shakes it, holds it up to her ear. But it's not a phone. It's birth control pills. "No, I can't get a signal either," she says, putting the pills back in her pocket.

Then my phone starts ringing in my pocket. I don't want the girl to feel threatened so I say, "Ugh, that's probably my mom. I'm not going to answer it. She's driving me nuts."

"Oh, my parents drive me nuts too," She says. So I start chatting with her, trying to bond with her. I ask her where she goes to school. She says she doesn't go to school. I ask her if she knows a way out of here, maybe some way she gets out to go to the movies or go shopping. She says she never leaves the valley.

I tell her I don't see any stores. "Where do you shop?" I ask, and knowing it's a mistake as I am speaking, I ask, "What do you eat?"

"People." She sees I'm scared so she adds, "Oh, don't worry. Just your blood."

She takes out some kind of blood-drawing weapon. I realize I am in some kind of valley of fangless vampires.

I back away from her. I wonder if I can fight her off. She says, "I like you. I won't take it all, right away."

Another girl appears. She has a stick covered with razor blades. I am backing away from them, pretty sure I cannot fight them both. They back me into a trailer. About 15 people are in there, all with weapons. The second girl attacks me with her stick. I block with my hand. A razor digs into my palm. They are all closing in on me.

I am going to be killed.

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Valley of Death (Original Post) rbnyc Aug 2013 OP
This is more about your mother than anything else. murielm99 Sep 2013 #1
I will have to leave the state... rbnyc Sep 2013 #3
I can relate to some of that. murielm99 Sep 2013 #5
Thanks so much. rbnyc Sep 2013 #6
You consider the keys Why Syzygy Sep 2013 #7
thanks... rbnyc Sep 2013 #9
try the writers group orleans Sep 2013 #2
Thanks. rbnyc Sep 2013 #4
not sure about the dream thread orleans Sep 2013 #12
Our mothers seem to have a huge power for our entire lifespan! davsand Sep 2013 #8
thanks. rbnyc Sep 2013 #10
If you woke feeling the dream was a message about work, you may want to chew on that for a bit. davsand Sep 2013 #11
I'm obsessed with my job... rbnyc Sep 2013 #13
Woah. Was this a dream? Matariki Sep 2013 #14
wow rbnyc Sep 2013 #16
Also, what does your mother represent to you Matariki Sep 2013 #15
I have a hard time... rbnyc Sep 2013 #17

murielm99

(31,465 posts)
1. This is more about your mother than anything else.
Sun Sep 1, 2013, 12:01 AM
Sep 2013

She is reckless, but still trying to control you. Maybe she is a vampire, too, sucking your blood?

rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
3. I will have to leave the state...
Sun Sep 1, 2013, 10:25 AM
Sep 2013

...to visit her soon. She needs help signing up for social security and Medicare. She is living in "extreme hoarding conditions." She needs help getting her house in order. We really can't afford the trip and it's a very busy time at work. I know she can't help the way she is, but I'm resentful.

Learning to protect myself from her was a big part of my childhood. All my instincts say, just leave her. But I know she needs my help so I have to go.

But the keys... I worry she has given me gifts that I reject because of how I judge her, and that will be my failing.

Thanks for reading my dream.

murielm99

(31,465 posts)
5. I can relate to some of that.
Sun Sep 1, 2013, 11:43 AM
Sep 2013

I still have to protect myself from my mother, she is so toxic. I should leave her. She doesn't deserve anything else.

The keys. I don't know. Do you worry that you are too much like her? It could be simply that you are going to help with Social Security and Medicare. Those will help her, so you are in control, in charge of helping her. You have those keys.

Good luck with all of it, including the trip. Be safe on your journey.

rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
6. Thanks so much.
Sun Sep 1, 2013, 11:53 AM
Sep 2013

I've delayed the trip until after a huge deadline at work. I am going in about 8 weeks.

Why Syzygy

(18,928 posts)
7. You consider the keys
Mon Sep 2, 2013, 02:07 PM
Sep 2013

as gifts? Then that's what they probably are. You know yourself. I was thinking, "secrets", and then found this >

www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/k.htm‎
To see a key in your dream symbolizes opportunities, access, control, secrets, freedom, knowledge or responsibilities. You may be locking away your own inner ...

rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
4. Thanks.
Sun Sep 1, 2013, 10:28 AM
Sep 2013

I shared it here because ASAH has my favorite people. Plus, didn't there used to be an ongoing dreams thread here?

orleans

(35,062 posts)
12. not sure about the dream thread
Tue Sep 3, 2013, 02:25 AM
Sep 2013

i've been holed up in the bereavement group mostly for the past three years. i pop in and out of here looking for ghosty, adc topics. good luck with your writing.

davsand

(13,428 posts)
8. Our mothers seem to have a huge power for our entire lifespan!
Mon Sep 2, 2013, 02:47 PM
Sep 2013

As infants, that power is one of (literally) life and death. Once we age enough to approach self sufficiency, we start to pull away from that mother figure that was so essential to our early survival. Her faults and flaws loom large in our minds and we reject that vehemently. That is as it should be, really, because parenting is something that needs to be a finite thing in the purest form. Pretty much a natural progression that everybody deal with in some way or another. It gets more complicated, however, when the mom is damaged in serious ways like addiction or abusive behaviors.

You speak of your mom in this dream as someone that you feel has endangered you. Clearly, in the dream, you were not comfortable with her in "the driver's seat." Sounds like, from what you've said here, that you do feel your mom is not competent to "drive" since she's dealing with hoarding issues as well as some competency issues in dealing with her affairs--she needs help. Pretty literal message, as far as that part goes, I think...

The section of the dream where you talk about the accident is less clear cut for me. I remember well how injured you were in that car accident a few years ago, and I have NO idea how that has impacted on your views of both life and your interactions with it. As I recall, you did triumph over it all, and you have emerged whole from it--so I am assuming that you are coming at that with a foundation of strength. Other than the loss of control--which was a part of the earlier section when your mom was still driving--is there something else at work there for you? (You don't have to answer this--it is intended to be food for thought!) Are you afraid that your mom and her issues are gonna take some of your own control out of your life? Clearly they are at work--if you are having to take time to go help her--so I'm wondering if you are warning yourself to watch out for this...

As for the vampire/blood sucking aspect of the ending parts of the dream, I'm also wondering if you are worried that somehow your mom and her issues are gonna suck you back in or "suck the life outta you." The birth control pills / phone thing with the girl feels significant, but I dunno why. Your brain was in overdrive with this one, and you were sending yourself a lot of information in that dream. I hope you can work it out!

{hug}


Laura

rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
10. thanks.
Mon Sep 2, 2013, 04:37 PM
Sep 2013

Indeed, my brain was giving me a lot of info. I can't stop thinking about it.

We got a call from Adult Protective Services. They asked if I could come help her, and initially I said no.

Then I talked to my husband about it, and he convinced me that we should help her. At first, he wanted to go as soon as possible, but the timing is terrible. We settled on going after I am done with a huge project at work.

So I think the boyfriend might be my husband. He is acting as her advocate, so he is aligned with her. He seems like a normal healthy guy. But he ends up driving is into the abyss.

I am afraid that intervening on my Mother's behalf will drain us and leave us in all kinds of danger.

But at first, I didn't even think this dream was about my mom. I thought it was all about working with 2 executive directors on this project at work.

My car accident was a major event in my life. I still deal with pain and mobility issues, and have not lost the weight I gained. On one hand, I worked my way out of a wheelchair, conceived and had a child, and outpaced my doctor's predictions in every phase of my recovery.

On the other hand, I am still carrying the weight, physically and figuratively.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing your insights.

davsand

(13,428 posts)
11. If you woke feeling the dream was a message about work, you may want to chew on that for a bit.
Mon Sep 2, 2013, 11:43 PM
Sep 2013

Dreamwork is difficult stuff in so many ways. I know that a lot of people derive information from leaning about the images in dreams, and I respect that. It has, however, not always been the language my own dreams use. Very often, for me anyhow, dream language is like my own--full of slang and personalization. Just like the image of your mom "in the driver's seat", I tend to get my own messages in that sort of language and images.

Work deadlines are so very overwhelming, and it seems to me that there were more times than I can count that I viewed my own work as being "soul sucking" and vampire like. Is that what was going on for you in the dream? Who would the boyfriend represent in your workplace? Is there somebody that is gonna send your project "over the edge?" Maybe send YOU over the edge? Is it possible that your dream was you chewing over ALL that you face right now--your Mom's issues, your work issues, the stress of being a parent yourself? (I keep coming back to the BC pills the girl had. I have NO idea why...)

I wish I could do more to help you with this. It clearly is something you really want to get a handle on. You might try telling yourself before you go to bed that you really WANT to understand all that message, but you need more information.

Hang in. I'm sorry your are struggling!


{hug}


Laura

rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
13. I'm obsessed with my job...
Tue Sep 3, 2013, 07:17 PM
Sep 2013

...So that's my first thought about everything. But I think it's all this stuff at once.

The birth control thing is weird.

During the dream, I was thinking, what is wrong woth this girl? I was also judging her and the whole place as being very "white trash" to use a terrible and inappropriate phrase. But that's what I was thinking. I was also wondering if she might be inbred.

All that judgment is very much about wanting to disassociate front mom.

Anyway, I think it's time to let all this go back to my subconscious and just to one thing at a time.

First, I must see my project at work through to success.

Then, I will think about the rest. I delayed the trip for work, so I should work.

Thanks again.

Matariki

(18,775 posts)
14. Woah. Was this a dream?
Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:17 PM
Sep 2013

Or a short story?

Do you know how to do gestalt dream analysis where you recount the dream from the perspective of every thing in your dream? I.E. - "I keep nearly rear-ending cars I approach, and nearly hitting oncoming cars when I try to pass people, or veer into the wrong lane by taking curves too fast. I am very angry at myself. I keep yelling at myself. "Slow down! Can I even see?!"

Matariki

(18,775 posts)
15. Also, what does your mother represent to you
Wed Sep 4, 2013, 12:20 PM
Sep 2013

vs. the actual person? Or what does 'a mother' represent? Seems like the birth control pills might be related - "I can't get a signal either" seems significant.

rbnyc

(17,045 posts)
17. I have a hard time...
Wed Sep 4, 2013, 10:31 PM
Sep 2013

...separating my own mother from "mother." I have been going to a monthly women's healing circle to help with that.

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