so I guess I'm doing something right?

If it's out of control because you're simply less functional, that's not so good.
If it's out of control because you're tired of controlling yourself so tightly, i.e., micromanaging instead of "going with the flow", that's good, albeit somewhat disorienting.

good luck

...very consciously trying to relinquish control (I.e. fear) is probably more accurate. Not something I'm very accustomed to

I wish you the best at letting it all go!

program online yesterday and the basic message of the whole program was if you are not in your divine space, if you are not doing what you were meant to do within your own personal divinity,or living within your joy, giving joy, being, ... that there will be suffering/ dissatisfaction. It's funny, about the time you posted this I see, I was thinking of this very conversation..it's like we're all dogs in yards that have the invisible fence and we're out to play, and every time we try to go out of the border that is ours, we feel pain, there is a CORRECTION, you know, does that make sense? Choices made outside our divinity,are NOT the plan.

I noticed yesterday that when I had thoughts and plans and serious joyful dreams of my divine things, all was good. Slipped out of that today, and voila..I tensed up, felt doubt, etc..

It was a rather big Eureka moment.

Yes, I'd say I was a lot more sensitive, got overly nervous during an interview, so that didn't feel right, but in a good way, for several months, for instance, I have really really really enjoyed music. It's like when a favorite tune comes on, I hear EVERYTHING! I am a huge music fan and play and sing well enough, and always make a point of listening to something beautiful or singing everyday, but it's like the textures are just so , so, so well I can't think of a word that would do it justice.. It's like that feeling when you get a new stereo to replace the former one! You know it's SO much better! Whew!

That's hard to describe but I feel that indicates that you are exactly 100% on track! yay for you.

"I Knew That I Was A GENI_USSS!"

What's so strange when you know that you're a wizard at three, I knew that this was meant to be!

HAHAHA!

From The Dittmars:

After things quieted down a bit, lately it's been round after round, wave after wave of energetic shifts. Regardless of how intensely you experience life as a flow of energy, nearly everyone we have heard from the past two weeks has REALLY felt like something is definitely "up" on planet Earth. Some feel the collective nature of the energy shifts and downloads, while others may not see or feel it that way yet, but instead, are experiencing being deeply puzzled by the seemingly strange arising of emotions "out of nowhere." They say, "one minute I'm feeling happy, and the next - I'm expressing anger, or crying."


A gentle reminder from our hearts to yours that you are not alone in this. Matt often says, "What you're feeling, you're healing." Rest assured, you have lots of company in this (humanity!). This is a wonderful time to deepen the "I love yous" to your heart (which is the heart of all), and to slow and deepen your breath.


The waves in this latest round of ascension energies seems to have shown up in so many as - huge fatigue. The majority of folks we've talked with the past couple of weeks have been experiencing zero "get up and go." We're not just talking a little tired, but show-stopping tired with immune-system dips, sore throats, sniffles, etc. People are napping where they can to process these energies, going to bed early, or rejoicing when a plan falls through so they can just rest. This is truly a time to have greater awareness about the bigger picture of these energy fluxes and to be extra gentle with ourselves and others. If things are not "getting done" and plans are changing, how can we move through this with the most love and compassion for all?


There are oh so many factors at play in our lives and in our energy fields cosmically, astrologically, and energetically right now. Take a moment to really feel it and pulse with the flow of change. This is a week of those energies now integrating into consciousness as things smooth out, and the energy again begins to lift. As Matt talks about in the article below, we are unlocking the door to a 5th dimensional reality, and "appreciation" is the key.


Related directly to this, Matt feels it's the perfect time to share what came through his awareness today: "Your day-to-day activities have no separate existence outside of the soul's play of using everyday life as an open-ended opportunity to express your highest wisdom in action, and create new vibrational patterns by appreciating whatever comes your way. The mentality of needing to get things done based on a promise of what is waiting for you on the other end feeds into the social conditioning of reward and punishment. Beyond all forms of conditioning, life will continue turning up the heat in your reality until you dare to surrender to the authority of Divine grace by heading in a direction that sparks excitement in your heart.


From there, your daily adventures are a chance to keep up the practice of excitement by welcoming everything with an open mind and a loving heart. Knowing, the time you've taken to be guided by heartfelt excitement and enjoy every step of the way shall manifest into form a miraculous reality beyond your wildest imagination. It will be nothing short of breath-taking, reflecting into every moment infinite expressions to appreciate throughout endless opportunities of excitement. Your highest potential is calling. There is nothing left to do, but let go completely and step into the unknown depths of indescribable fulfillment."


Enjoy the journey. You are loved.



Namaste,

Matt and Julie
(Dittmar)

If the Dittmars have a site, please share the link.

I have been working on surrender but sometimes think I'm not really getting the concept.

I'm having quite a rough May. I'm trying to learn to control my stress, frustration and this deep anger at what I perceive to be gross injustice. Sometimes it's as if I can't take any more of the BS (my perception of BS, that is). In other words, I'm trying not to show "The Crazy" again and it's not been easy, LOL. This is a learning experience - a chance to once again try and hopefully successfully overcome those things that have inhibited us in the past.

That what I'm reading here seems to be so true. The hardest part is letting go and trusting that everything will be okay. I'm fighting this, but am sloooooowly learning it's best not to.

"Rick, are your SURE that if you let go of EVERY SITUATION and give it to God, that EVERYTHING WILL work out?"
I just had to say a RESOUNDING Yes!
Then the argument and the issue was over. That's what the Full Moon in Scorpio did for me.
Give it some thought.

may not mean that you are off track. You may just be in the middle of tussling with the old sceptres.
Keep at it! Neptune picks you up and takes you to the top of the roller coaster! The world is crazy.
Good luck.

Am tired to the point that I have no choice but to let go and try to center myself. Things and events of the major kind have swirled about me since January. Since my mother's death a couple of weeks ago which culminated with an awful incident with the Funeral director and some of my family, it released me from past things. And it was painful I tell ya! Like I broke through a huge wall and now time is going slower. I still cannot work and am not particularly motivated but have accepted I need to rest for awhile.

hoping that you get all the rest that you need- I am sorry for your loss and pain.

Have felt like I'm in a vacuum for almost a yr now. In a real funk. Very confused on what I'm to be doing. Oh, I have PLENTY I need to be doing, just can't seem to muster the drive. Have literally been in a holding pattern for months. Can't get anything accomplished. Still exhausted after retiring last May. Dr says I'm in excellent health (except those extra pounds I should work on losing). Sometimes I feel guilty for using up the air, since I've become virtually useless. I have moments of inspiration, but they quickly leave. Confusion prevails. Things just don't seem real & time is flying by at such a rate that my head spins. Others around me are carrying on w/life, I simply exist in some type of void amongst them. I really need to look for another job, but can't even get my resume done. I am not who I once was. Extremely indecisive--I don't recognize myself anymore. My memory is shot, too.
It is VERY confusing. Certainly feel like I'm in a Neptunian fog.

Guess I'm not ready. (sigh)

I believe that every moment you live, you are evolving. As I said in TEZ, be very careful not to fall
prey to Pluto voices that make you feel "guilty for breathing air."

Just be yourself. You don't have to do A or B or C. Just be you, shine your light (which allows the Divine through), then
you'll be back in touch. I hope!

You're confused, I believe, just because you are shifting into a new paradigm where you'll see that it matters
very little WHAT you do and more of HOW you do it.

I credit Eckhart Tolle for that one.

I know I went from going 5,000 mph for yrs to 0, so I'm telling myself that the inertia is still happening. I slammed into that wall of uncertainty & it hurts. It takes a lot of getting used to that type of change. My problem is I'm not "doing" anything. Have never felt so stuck. It feels like a perpetual limbo. Perhaps I'm learning how to be ME again, since I've lived my life for others for so long. This Scorp needs to shed that skin & rise from the ashes like the Phoenix she is. Just got to get the timing right & ALLOW myself that luxury. Thanks for the kind words, Ric. I just finished Tolle's "New Earth"--I understand. I'm thankful for all the spiritual leaders we have helping us evolve into this new paradigm.

but emotionally - less fearful and more free to speak truth and hold my space.

A coyote has been attacking my sheep in the daytime (it ate three of my bottle fed lambs and over 6 others so far) and I have been looking and looking for a guardian dog to chase it away. The dog has to have been raised with the sheep so that it loves them and guards them and wants to be with them. So, pet dogs cannot be turned into guardian dogs. And only special breeds like Great Pyrenees and Maremmas, etc bond like this to sheep and chase away coyotes, but stay with the flock in general. And they can't want to eat the chickens that free range with the sheep. Finally tonight I may have found one to rescue and I am thrilled. He is only a few hours drive away with a foster person who already has three livestock guardians herself, but this dog is just pinning away for her sheep, and her guardian dogs won't let him near them. He was dumped on the highway with 4 others, but the others were run over and killed. The dry winter here put a lot of livestock people out of business it seems, so the rescue woman said that people just dump the dogs like that once the sheep are sold.

She says that he is a real sweetheart and is already gaining weight. She has taught him to walk on a leash and she can brush him, too. He is now up to date on all shots (except I need to get him started on the rattlesnake vaccine) and already neutered. And so I feel a bit elated and also as though things are working out.

In other areas I am also feeling less easily frightened and just altogether on more solid ground. So, for me, it seems like a time where for every problem a solution is around...the trick is to look for it in a sort of deist style.

good luck with the animals

I am so sorry, but I am glad you have found a livestock guardian, such amazing dogs.

This dog has been looking for you. No doubt. A dog like that without their sheep, is a dog waiting to die.

I'm so sorry you've lost so many babies. This is going to be wonderful for you.

We have to remember we are spiritual beings having a human experience
then there is less conflict in us in 'letting the divine take over' because WE are in alignment with Spirit and our soul's purpose

this is exactly what is being channeled in our Circles right now... exactly the message coming from the Tribal elders as well

here's the prayer we have been passing on:

Great Spirit (god, goddess, Light, etc)
bless the four kingdoms ..mineral, plant, animal and humankind
bless the four elements..earth air, fire and water
bless the four directions...north south east west (so we have movement)
May we all work in cooperation and love
a-ho

it's making me seriously anxious and depressed. I'm getting to "enough, already" and not in a good way. I think the "divine" sort of wants me to suffer.

NO WAY the Divine benefits by you suffering. None.
I would slow down and ask, why the chaos?
Chaos isn't OUT THERE, it's IN HERE.
See what you find, I hope we all can help you feel better.

Yes, Neptune is all over your Sun in Sag. The key is to open to Spirit and have faith that it will work out.
Jesus told us he would solve all problems if we let go of them and give them to Him. I believe Him.

I'll try. Losing faith is a losing proposition, I know, but that's what it feels like is happening. (PM'd you back.)

and I sort of hate Chiron, however, these two together as kicking the crap out of evil. After I saw a decade long feud between former friends end in the space of three weeks, (last October/November) I became a believer.

Bring on more Neptune/Chiron!

Chiron is a long, unknown story yet. It will take us years to grok it. Neptune is marvelous. Neptune is forgiveness.

I USED to be one to forgive. This was not an easy process, but I learned it was good on so many levels. I came to understand that when Jesus taught to forgive "70 X 7" it did not always mean 490 different things, it might mean the exercise of forgiving ONE thing 490 times.

I learned that the process of forgiveness was important to my soul and for others. But now because of a heueueuege issue that happened to me, I am unable to forgive ~ and it involves some lifelong people in my life with whom I was extremely close. I will be turning 60 this summer and it seems so wrong to have come to this place where I believe at my age, I should be forgiving more, not like this! Therapy is making me work on it, but it is slow and at my age, I am afraid it will follow me into other lives if I do not find a way to forgive. My intellect knows it is the right thing to do, but my heart is not so sure ...

Crying as I write this ....

Cat in Seattle

And Moon and Mars in Scorpio at the bottom of your chart makes it difficult, I am sure.
The answer A Course In Miracles would give you is that "nothing ever happened in the first place"

I know how easy it sounds, terribly easy.
I hope you can stop carrying that load around, it's too heavy and isn't worth it. Or working.
What I understand is that Forgiveness is for YOU.

Best of luck with it!

I am not sure about the astrological stuff, I follow it, but never understood it, however I DO understand the disrespect. In spite of being Leo, I am not that into "pride" stuff, meaning whenever anyone was "disrespectful" it amused me more than hurt or made me mad. I think disrespect is something about the other person, not me as they usually need to put someone down in order to raise themselves up. A long time ago, someone told me that I had more Cancer in me than Leo because I am just a week into Leo at birth, but I am not sure what that means about disrespect and Leo stuff, either, lol.

But as I was writing this, I stopped and went out and stood on the deck for a few minutes, thinking about what you said. It is early morning here and the birds are singing, the sun is just beginning to lighten the sky. The smells of spring is incredible and as I stood there a thought came into my heart: "Lack of respect may not affect you Cat, but humiliation. especially unearned humiliation, now that does hurt you deeply ..." I then realized that this kind of disrespect indeed may be something about what you said.

So I hope the following helps your Work as hearing the story behind what you say might help you with others: There are so many levels to this, forgive me for being so wordy ...they do not call ME "Chatty Cathy" for nuttin'! Still maybe it will help with others with whom you do such wonderful Work:

Because of this humiliation, beginning a few years ago I went on a tear as a lifelong activist. After what happened to me, I had begun a crusade of sorts in my state over this issue. Now I want to make it clear, I am a nobody, I am not a "VIP' or anything. As a matter I am a former welfare mom with a background in McJobs and usually, it is about standing for these moms that is a large part of my Work, it is about standing for the next generations struggling as I have. Usually people like me standing in the Legislature and speaking to policy makers, we are not heard, we are (behind closed doors) ridiculed and minimized. But one thing they can say about me no matter how much they want to minimize things, I am an amateur wonk, I do my homework and they can "pshaw" all they want, but I don't care if they "pshaw", I KNOW when I am right ~ they just do not want to hear it is all.

So last week I was in a meeting about the issue that hurt me so badly (and it also hurt another I loved so much I will never see again). There were a lot of high level Suits in the room who had treated me as if I were a kook when I first began this "tear" and now they are saying the same things I was trying to tell them a few years ago! I am not just trying to give myself this credit, it was a group of people I joined with who worked their asses off too ~ many of them former political "enemies" of mine (Tea Partiers and Libertarians, lol) ~ but in that room most of the the Suits were people who were my political allies as a lifelong Democrat.

Living in poverty is a real practice in living under constant disrespect, I can guarantee that. From years of speaking to poverty I do not expect to be heard much whenever I meet with The Powers That Be. But the issue I was speaking to in this room with those Suits WAS heard and while it also involved the Work I have always done, it also involved upper income people as well. I have been speaking to my "political enemies" too and telling them in essence, "What happens to the least of us, happens to all of us ..."

I am not trying to be egotistical here, but since that meeting I realized how much of a bridge I have been for the issue I was fighting for ~ and who knows what else in the future? I will never get any credit for this and this does not bother me, many others did the Work not just me, let them take the credit. What did make me proud is that invisible as I am, I DID make a BIG difference that I did not expect to even see in my lifetime. Not only did I see great progress in the issue I was fighting for, I was a "bridge" between some large canyons between political and policy-making people.

ROAR!!!!!!!

So as I stood out there on the back porch this morning, I realized humiliation (especially when it is uncalled for) does hurt me beyond deeply and for a Leo, this just ain't cool! It can hurt me enough to make ripples I could never imagine ... As I write this I am now seeing while I have done some good things because of it, it is time to take care of the bad things that are weighing down my heart. Those bad things are more personal as it involved close family members who do not understand what they did (though as well as they know me I think they should have known). I may never see them again either, but I can still forgive ...I think I am now ready to take that l-o-n-g road.

So thank-you for your kind words, Dear. I also think I will go back and read some of the stuff I can find on A Course in Miracles, I forgot about that and I think I forgot about a lot of what they said (I do not understand what you meant with that statement you made, I maybe I will when I refresh). Please feel free to use this if you need to in your work, I think it is always good when I get to be used as a "poster child", lol.

Love and extremely grateful,

Cat in Seattle

You would really benefit by reading my book.

Also and maybe even moreover, you have powerful Scorpio which makes you none too happy when you perceive that
you have been BETRAYED. That's their word.

Disrespected and betrayed

My thought is this, it's all in THEIR mind and who they project you to be, not really who you are. Where
Leo gets into trouble is looking outside of themselves for validation. It's a key issue for Lions.

All the best, I bet this weekend's eclipse will completely turn you around and set you straight or else
we wouldn't even be discussing this.
All the best.

Thanks for sharing. My hat's off to you.. I've got a bit of Leo in me, some wild astrologer has suggested..and I have wrestled with feeling humiliation and disrespect as well. It is BIG!

Maybe "it never happened" means that being an "invisible", that yes indeed it "did happen" but it was not seen ...

I wish it were seen, then maybe my words would have more power in the future and it would help others. However I am also aware that "invisible" people can do a whole lot under the wire putting things into motion before it is noticed, which gain too much momentum and it cannot be stopped. Learned that from some Elders I once knew whose grandparents were slaves.

Off to read some Course in Miracles!

Love, Cat

the Course means, "it never happened" because we are not our bodies. I keep trying to digest that one too.

“Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in this view are all your sins forgiven. What is sin except a false idea about God’s Son? Forgiveness merely sees its falsity, and therefore lets it go. What then is free to take its place is
now the Will of God.”

But it will still take some re-reading a few times to wrap my head around it ...

Love, Cat

It never happened, it couldn't have because there IS NO separation.
Neptune is going to keep shoving it down our throats till we get it.
There is no separation - only appears so. Separation is imaginary Hell.
We'll all get it, we're just starting.

good for you because you a passionate person and this allows you great release!

I hear my self saying it EVERY day, several times a day. Sometimes it is not easy to allow myself to accept that--I'm prone to expecting the worst possible scenario--but I'm trying now to live in a more positive mental place. Lot's of stuff is maybe not what I'd like or what falls in my comfort zone, but unless I have direct control over it I'm just trying to roll with it and let it all sort out.

More and more I am seeing just how much anxiety is out there. I'm seeing how much pain people are living with and I'm doing all I can to try and minimize my own negative impact on everybody. It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help. I can't count the number of times I've thought if I only had _____ to offer it would help this person so much. Sometimes it is money, but a lot of the time it is advice or even just a shoulder to lean on.

I joke that it is like walking through a shit storm--you keep putting one foot in front of the other and sooner or later you'll walk out of it. Keep your head down and your mouth shut and keep on walking whatever you do! It may be like a kidney stone, but this too shall pass if you can just live through it.


Laura

offer any kind of support or help. It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.It's a source of much amazement to me to see how grateful anybody is when you listen and try to you listen and try to offer any kind of support or help.

yea

We, of ourselves, can do nothing.
Christ: "Of myself, I can do nothing, it is all done through My Father"
Let it flow through you.

If any of you have read "The Disappearance of the Universe" by Gary Renard, which is a summary of "A Course in Miracles"....

it's based on two thought, the entire book.

1) Forgive everything which means let everything be as it is
2) The Holy Spirit will solve everything else.

I know it works, I just have to constantly remind myself to let it go, let that go, let this go....

and when we feel crappy it's usually because we are clearing and releasing old emotional stuff. What I found from my own experience is that when you're in the mist of this, if you just say, "I release this with ease and grace" it actually WORKS. Also, I've found it helpful to ask, "Is this mine to feel?" I've had down in the dumps feelings that just disappear when I ask that! There's so much stuff floating around out there and everyone is being triggered to release stuff by situations, other people etc. If you're empathic at all, it's easy to p/u other peoples' energies. Also, I received a message a few weeks ago about manifestation and releasing old emotional junk. Because the energies are so potent currently for manifesting...you have to be careful not to dwell on the old stuff coming up for release. You have to just say your intent is to let it go because if you try to analyze it, think about it, ponder the "why" of it..you can create a loop and just keep the same old cycle going. So GO WITH THE FLOW and just let it all go! Just verbalizing your intent to do so really works!

thank you FK

said quite so much I can relate to as well! It's hard not to pick up other's energies.., but I have found in the last few days to deflect, to deflect!

"Observe, don't Absorb" Kimmers....easier said than done, I KNOW..lol.

Thanks, buddy!

is absolutely rocking it's donkey butt off!!

No seriously, this is a fantastic exploration for everyone.

The divulging is a bulging!

I feel like I hit a brick wall.

imho

Rick

I have wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your posts for awhile now. I don’t participate much here but I read just about everything posted here and visit regularly.

Most of what I know about astrology, I have learned from you and (Caroline Casey’s program on Pacifica). The only thing I know about myself astrologically is that I am a Cancer sun sign. But, I love your posts, and even though I don’t know how everything you write about affects me, your writing resonate truth to me.

I have purposefully avoided embracing a religion, But, A Course in Miracles has really resonated with me too. I discovered it over 15 years ago and have returned to it over and over ever since. "Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists" has sort of been my mantra and has given me peace for all these years.

I think there is a universal truth that has been expressed in many ways from many sources. When you hear the same concept being expressed in so many divergent ways, it is a test of its truth. I love it when you use A Course in Miracles to further explain some concept in astrology.

Thanks for all of your contributions to this board, I look forward to reading more from you.

Sally

yes, A Course in Miracles says it all... repetitively.... lol

At about 7:15 p. m. I decided to take my dog over to Pet Smart to get her some more treats before agility practice tonight. I reached an intersection with a long light and decided to call my Mom to see if she wanted to come with us, since her assisted living apartment is along the way. While talking to her on my cell phone the light turns green but I was in no hurry (which is weird, considering that has to be the longest light I encounter regularly), I just kept talking, and along comes this large white SUV at about 60 miles an hour through the red light like he had no clue an intersection was there.

I hope I would have taken the time to make sure everyone stopped before going on green, but if I hadn't, my Dog and I would have been toast in my Honda Insight. The sudden urge to call my mom slowed me down and we lived to make it to buy dog treats. I'm still trying to digest this, I watched the white SUV whizz through the red light and the man looked to have on a police uniform, he seemed to turn his head to me as if he wondered why there would be a car sitting there. It was very weird, but I am VERY GRATEFUL!!!

I'm still screaming out to the Universe my thanks.

this will be the subject of my next book

You had a close one on purpose. To me, while I'm very grateful that you are unhurt, it is a warning sign that you almost got hit.
Usually, thru my research, it means that one part of you is trying to get you to move ahead, and the old, cautious part of you
is resting on the brakes. The universe (truck) almost gave you one quick one because it's speaking for the inner you that wants out of stagnation.

Think about it. Yes, Mars was crossing your Uranus in the 12th house. That could have been very dangerous; it means exactly what I said "you're sitting on yourself and calling that 'safe'" and it isn't.
Glad you got this transmission. Only you will know what this means. Something to do with action you need to take to LIBERATE yourself.

Best of luck

p.s. There is no truck "out there"
p.p.s. It's about getting out of your job; you've been thinking about it for a LONG time and delaying because of mythical "security"
that's CLEARLY what your chart tells me. You inner self feels trapped there and is correct.

Thank you so much for looking at my chart, Rick, you nailed it. I have no job satisfaction and just feel lucky to have my incredibly boring job because of healthcare and retirement. I feel totally stuck. My goal for years has been security because of my past; 20 years ago I was a hopelessly mentally ill alcoholic and my family was actively trying to shut me in the back bedroom of their house, out of sight of anyone as my grandfather had done with my aunt and uncle, just drugged out of my mind on anti-psychotics. When I was helped to get free I got sober, after 5 years I was fortunate enough to get a job at the university here with healthcare and retirement. I have an INTENSE fear of insecurity, I never trust anything to actually last and basically always keep in mind I might have run to another perceived safety net at any moment. The idea of giving up security “feels like” a kind of suicide, especially at 48.

I am looking at jobs posting here at the university, but times are really rough and I am lucky to still be hanging on here (I feel anyway). I also worry about getting in a situation where I would be intimidated or verbally abused in a job since I don’t do well with that and for some reason it seems like I've been a lightening rod for it since I was a little kid. All this keeps me stagnant since I like the people I work at my boring job with, LOL.

I will pray to the Universe for gentle guidance, (no more light running suv’s please), because it is so foreign to me to ever consider giving up any kind of security. I hope I don’t have to sacrifice that in order to gain fulfillment. I hope some gentle power will see fit to light my way. The worst part of the truck near miss was that my dog was with me. I doubt I would have made it through the last two years of turmoil in my life without her, that gentle soul is quite literally a gift from God, I can't stress that enough or give enough thanks for the bond my husband and I have with her. (To the world that's been hounding me all week for training her totally WRONG, BORDER COLLIES ARE NOT GOLDEN RETRIEVERS AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM). Had to get that out, sorry.

Thank you again. I love you all here.

Glad you are still here in the flesh w/us!

Being chronically underemployed after being long termed unemployed, money is always an issue for me. my phone had been shut off for days & I bit the bullet to get it turned back on. This put a major crimp in my ability to pay rent, let alone pay off some of the back rent I still owe. I didn't know how I was going to make it. While looking through some papers, I found a PAYCHECK I had forgotten to cash (yeah, I know...I usually know pretty much I have to the penny...). Believe me, I felt the Universe really had my back.
A very wise person told me a while back to let go & let Him in (looking at you, Rick!) & I've really tried to work on it. Talk about manifestation!

so glad to hear of surprise money! Always a good thing. Great manifestation!

As the token liberal in my place of employment (read: southern, conservative, religious, hospital), I was asked today what I thought about "What Obama said about, uh, uh, uh..." and I said, "you mean what the president said about marriage equality, same sex unions. Of course, I agree with him." My inquisitor said, "But the Bible says..., the bible... the bible..." I said, "you know I'm a bleeding heart liberal, don't you?? She couldn't even form her questions, much less defend her position. I felt such a power surge. Why should I even spend the energy engaging in a discussion with this person?? This is so absurd.

I've found a position paper that accurately sets forth my position on "THE CHURCH vs HOMOSEXUALITY" and I think I'll just make copies and hand it out to people instead of getting involved in a discussion.

have a brain or a bible

It really is that simple!
Thank you Uncle Rick for putting this in terms that maybe even they can understand.

Ask them, HYPOTHETICALLY, what would your mind be like if there was no bible?

yet truly...

FEELING is HEALING!

Some things in my life are going smoothly, or mostly so. My writing is getting along, and am working on it for more than in the past.

Whereas my relationship with my girlfriend of the last five years has left me in limbo. I still don't know what's going on with it as I'm getting no answers (either from her or Spirit.) Of course, taking an unexpected phonecall from my past-wife the other night didn't help my feelings on that (she's psychic and "predicted" my love woes...) Letting the Divine take over on this will be difficult, but I know I should.

there's no other choice
best of luck, you'll do fine

That means YOU have to be more aggressive; tuff for a Pisces, I know. But, if not, the "Universe" will get in your face even more.
PL is telling you that you have the strength now to do so. Tell that martryistic Pisces stuff of yours that yielding is NOT always the answer. See, spirit just gave you your answer, as SOON as you let it go.

Amazing!

I wrote to my girlfriend. And she finally replied, caught me up on some things. I thought we might Skype tonight, but she hasn't written back or come online, so that might not be until later this week. I could be more aggressive in that, though I'd rather not be a pest, too

Seems like I might do better in some of these things by getting a reading...

is precisely what Pluto does not want to hear.

get the idea?

although very physically tired today, in general. Work has settled down. I am actually left alone to do my job and haven't gotten a "love letter" in a long time.

Dahli is coming along nicely. The weather is not helping me these days, but she wears a saddle girthed up to riding tightness without freaking out, her steering and brakes are very reliable from the ground, and often even backs up really well. We practice inside the barn on rainy days (most of them lately) and outside when weather permits. Weather is permitting right now, but I'm too tired and the ground could use a day to dry out. She seems very willing and serious about our "play time." She seems to miss the attention on our days off. I'm looking forward to a long enough stretch of really good weather to push forward to the next stage and actually sitting on her.

I'm slowly and steadily cleaning up the garden and have much of the grass overgrowth shoveled out. Still have a large chunk to clean up and my arms are aching from it.

Financially, I'm essentially even. I should have a little more money in the bank at the end of June than I had last June when I started back to work.

I know what it is I am here to do, where my passion is, but have no idea how to move forward on it financially. In the current climate, I cannot do more than what I have done and am doing. So I'm not even trying; just leaving it to the Universe to provide.

but in some ways your environment sounds like heaven. Have you thought of maybe providing a healing retreat type experience on your land? Just a wild thought that came to me (because I love horses!); might be an income stream. In a good way.

but this place is way too small and too close to not great neighbors, with no privacy. Not enough land to camp; every inch is used and none is private or quiet. Same with the house. The only room that would be nice enough to stay in is my sun room. Then I'd have to move into the attic.

Besides which, I've reached a point where I don't want other people's energy here. Enough to deal with at work and with the neighbors. If I ever get the real Magical Thyme farm, then it would be feasible. But not here...

My best wishes, then, for continued peacefulness in your life, and continued good energy to do what you love.

I've been doing some babysitting now and then for a few select kids. Right now my two little ones are named Luke and Leah, from different families who don't even know each other. I joked about it to a friend, wondering what it meant. She said it's obvious: The Force is with me. As soon as she said that, my insides said YES, that's it. That's exactly how I feel.

Totally WOW to that! Thanks for sharing BF!

Done alot of planting but still have about two more weeks of heavy work before i can put it on cruise control!!!! Thanks for asking Rick! How are you doing?

and given it to the Holy Spirit. Of course, I forget now and then and have to be reminded. We are one.
Now it's just one present after the next effortlessly.
That's what happens when we let go of trying to control things (which is impossible)

Now if I could just teach these flowers to plant and weed themselves....LOL!

and not here at the same time
don't smoke the flowers tho lol

but today tested everything I have.
I've been reading Oneness, great book and I enjoy reading it everyday, recently started reading The Disappearance of the Universe, thanks ric. And was so into it all this week, being a lost feeling week. Well today erased it all.
spent the day with Mom, and my repub sister and family. It all started when my mom said her neighbor Mahamad's son came to visit them, he just got back from Pakistan and brought them a gift. My mom said he grew up so nice, he looks like a movie star. I could see them squirming. She said he's how you say a hunk. My dad chimed in and said he just bought a mercedes , that new one, cls, or something, the one with the long nose, it's very sporty, so my dad when on to say how hard he works and he saved his money for it. My parents remember him when he was a young teenager when they first moved here, and everyone was apprehensive of them, but my dad felt it his duty to let them know how things were done here and they became friends over the years. Any way my brother inlaw says what does he do. My dad says he drives oil tankers, and works alot of over time. That was it all hell broke lose after that. "thats whats wrong with this country, they let terrorist drive those trucks, he could drive it into the Brooklyn Bridge, blah, blah.
I couldn't contain myself and chimed in. The whole day all they talked about is all the nationalities they hate, and how everyone is taking their jobs, than came the subject of terrorism, I said why are you belittling our guys. They are up on this and are catching people left and right. He got crazy and said I'm not belittling them but someone is going to get thru, you mark my words, we will be hit if Obama wins. Ha that was the moment.
I can't deal with people like that, I ignore them on line, but what do you do when they are the only family you have.
Help!!! Did I create this, I was seriously believing that I created all that is in my world, but this has me on a serious pause. Is it too much DU, am I doing this? I am so confused right now. I would consider any words of wisdom from you all. I had to take a shower when I left there. I gave you a brief summary, but it was very intense and I could not repeat half the words that were said. In the meanwhile my niece was telling me all the nationalities that she hates, the word hate was said at least 20 times.
Very bad, I lived away for 20 yrs and for the first time I'm sorry I moved back. I need to meditate right now. thanks for listening.

is that Neptune is showing them who they really are, naked in front of the Divine with their own bigotry, and it's hard to look at.
It will get better.

Projection and too much Fox TV

I really do.

But I have to tell you, I am feeling like my heart is closing up.. like I am not able to love any longer or, more importantly, to forgive myself and others.

I find myself muttering my anger and resentment towards those who have been less than my friends and it is just not who I want to be.

I bought a rose quartz to wear near my heart to help keep it open, of course the rose quartz is not all I am doing.. I do affirmations and prayer to keep myself centered and have been doing the Course in Miracles on and off for many years now... but lately, it feels like nothing is working for me any more. I hope to find a better way to step over the line that I seem to keep drawing in the sand for myself.

Geez,

does that make any sense?


( edited to add a bit more info)

Nothing works, if it's 'you' doing it. Remember, just forgive (let go) as much as you can and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit.
The Course says the HS does all the "work".

Let go the best you can.

Christ said, "Of myself, I can do nothing."

Sometimes I forget, but I know the HS works through me I jut have to remember to stand aside

It helps to talk with others who also know

thank you again

Solara, I felt the same way especially the last few days. Crushing depression, but usually, I'll bounce back in an hour or two, but I noticed the feeling of a closed heart. I tried like hell letting the light in. Listened to some recordings with mantras and Panache Desai..always great, and then...this really disturbs me..I've never felt so raw and hollow and panicky. Of course, a lot of purging is emerging, which is a gift, but that's what you do with it...the feelings, the physical feelings are remarkably devastating. I am very exhausted. I am going to try to get more sleep to see if that helps. Thanks for sharing.

The depression has been with me for a long time even as I gain awareness. It is so strange. The abyss is always there. But I know the truth and that has saved me many times. Sleep is very good and finding good people of like minds helps a lot too.

I am sure that when the time is right for each of us, our hearts will open as they are meant to do. I am anticipating a surge of tremendous love for all of us and soon!

Sweet sweet dreams

Well, I think maybe at least we can bring light to each other! Thanks, my dear!

Here's to opening hearts and intense, all abiding love that transcends all!

The more we understand and get in tune, the worse it feels when we leave that. I notice right before a big event, eclipse, full moon, etc, I get lost. Than everything adjusts and I'm ok. I starting to get used to it. It is really bad lately. I think it's become the norm. Hold on, it will be over.

Especially for the challenges I have lately, as compared to a year ago.

I am definitely holding on...to love, to awareness and to kindness..I find that if I can remember to be kind, to myself and to others, my heart does not feel quite so grinch-like

Bless you

Another jewel! Thanks! I'm holding on to that one!

the lunations such as Eclipses knock us off our rockers temporarily because we have to leave the old outdated position.
Then, in a day or two, we see the light

Sounds like normal to me. Good luck.

I had two potentially difficult conversations that I was praying about yesterday. Both with friends. I find it so difficult sometimes to just be direct without being afraid of negative repercussions. I gave both situations to Holy Spirit and asked that I just get out of the way so the conversations could proceed in love and light and best outcomes for all. Well, things couldn't have gone better, and things are now better than they've been with both people. Thank you all.