I am not sure but I think this Venus retrograde energy is, for me, manifesting as acute depression.. (not that depression is in any way cute)

I am trying to stay above it all.. looking at patterns, letting go, forgiving and making gratitude the watchword of the days

"Our Venus energy is our Yin energy, our receptive capacities; how do we let love in to our heart? Do we? " -Rick DiClemente

This has been my big question now for the last year or so but I feel like I am farther away from getting a grip on this than I have ever been.


I really wanted to see the Venus transit, but now I don't care.. I just want whatever this is to be gone.

is much more from Neptune than Venus, I believe.

Watery emotional stuff

I am glad you are a writer, by the way, I enjoy your stuff a lot.

it hit. I'm always in a pre-ceding procession it seems.. But after the pain purging, literally it seemed like a birth, or a mourning, depending on how you put your specs on. It's rather astonishing, actually.

I hope it gets better!

But this time it seems like the depression and fog around it is just speeding along and so it is more difficult to grab ahold of it. Not sure if that makes any sense.

But yeah, I expect to feel better eventually

I have no interest in any relationships with anybody anymore. I'm content with online contact here and there, and that's about it. Zero desire for intimacy with anybody. There is one person at work that I like as a friend -- the only one there who is emotionally evolved.

Once John died, that was it. It would have been nice if the asshole co-workers had shown the common decency to allow me to grieve in peace, instead of using it as an opportunity to harass me with their brain-damaged, alcoholic janitor friend. But I find it's like seeing a movie. Once somebody has ruined the first viewing, it's too late to go back.

The time frame for this retro seems to fit the time frame of the latest fuckover at work. Just as I started to feel a small degree of comfort in the job, they scheduled me for nights. I saw the schedule on the 19th, I will give notice for the 22 or 29th, with the understanding that I will not work another nightshift, period. Assholes.

Unless they get the message no nights means no nights, the relationship at work is over. It simply is not a negotiating point.

Just read it. Kind of a different style for you, and it works well!

Great that you were so informative about Venus and love and misconceptions!

I shall definitely re-read!

I have to feel out.

Look forward to more.

happiness to you

about Venus retrograde--I never quite got it before. It must be about self love and inner relationship. I have been working on a lot of forgiveness, and find self forgiveness seems to be at the center of it. Thanks for sharing this, it means so much.

unless they have followed Stephen Arroyo. He's the one really made us see that these energies are in us, of us. The schools of thought before him just don't get it. They reinforce the false notion that these planets are "out there". Arroyo turned that around. He is getting older now and doesn't write much being very seclusive. Once I read him, BOING! I saw what he meant. That's why I want to call my next book the "Intimate Zodiac".

These energies ebb and flow, but we're so closely tied to them, we can't imagine that they "come from outside somewhere".
They don't and this is why all I'm studying right now is the quantum and holographic world. I believe they hold our answers.
Yes, I totally agree with you: forgiveness is smack dab in the center.

totally about Stephen Arroyo. His approach is that these archetypes and energies live within us, and becoming familiar with them on a personal level is a continuous process. I love his approach--and think of it as the new paradigm of sacred knowledge too--to empower the individual. I like the way he departs from calling planets malefic or bad or aspects as bad or good. It is much more useful for us to think of these planets and aspects as guides and challenges.

To me it sort of relates to Carolyn Myss (in Sacred Contracts) how she considers the archetypal and symbolic world to be part of the 7th chakra--that through symbolic language (and there are so many languages) we can communicate with these aspects of ourselves.

I looooooved his books, and and it sounds like you are studying and writing some fascinating stuff!