I'm not doing all that well. Memories--small/medium/large keep flooding in more than ever.
I'm experiencing delayed complicated grief due to a complicated relationship.
Lord show mercy and please rescue me...
LizBeth
(10,821 posts)Take care of you the best you can.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)Just to get it all out.
I been an aggressive strong female most of my adult life, but it's fading.
When my husband died suddenly last year, people bothered with me regularly. Then it dwindled. I read online that this can happen. I believe this pandemic just compounded everything for me.
DU has been a life saver for sure. I receive comfort, kindness and uplifting from faceless sisters and brothers in humanity for whom I am grateful.
Stay safe and be of good health.
LizBeth
(10,821 posts)I know the big one for me was I felt like I was in a bubble with the whole world moving along. It is hard and take lots of time. And the isolation has to make it that much harder. Even a grieving group. But for sure, if you need or want that help, I hope you are able to find it.
True Blue American
(18,161 posts)Everyone is around you to sympathize, Ithen suddenly they go on with their lives. A lot of times it is because they can not deal with death. Has nothing to do with how they feel about you.
But know that you will become strong again. Your Husband would want you to. If you have faith he is watching over you with a smile every time you show your own strength!
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)MFM008
(20,000 posts)With grief over a death.
I wish is both luck
.😔
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)True Blue American
(18,161 posts)I was able to help, but this Memorial Day is turning out to be the worst ever.
No family gatherings to help us all laugh and put the pain of lost Loved ones aside for a few hours.
But please keep this in mind, It is always darkest just before dawn! Or, This too shall pass!
Keep HOPE Alive! Trite, but true.
True Blue American
(18,161 posts)Because I know, too!
applegrove
(123,113 posts)great when you have bad times. That and grandmothers taught me to take the long view on great pain: that it goes away and nobody is immune to it at some point in their lives. After you have read a dozen biographies and gone over the stories of your ancestors, you'll be part of a new arc.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)My mom was strong.
I just been through an enormous amount of stressful happenings especially within the past decade. Last year really did it to me.
Thank you for your encouraging words.
applegrove
(123,113 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)DarthDem
(5,362 posts)May you be guided by your faith to find the right path.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)So very grateful for you caring.
My Faith brings me back to
contemplation. Which gets me upright again. But still in human form, I then again falter.
PJMcK
(22,886 posts)To be alone during this crisis must be very sorrowful and my heart goes out to you, sprinkleeninow.
I hope your faith and friendships bring you strength and peace.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)Peace06
(248 posts)I join our fellow DUers in expressing our sorrow for your situation. I understand when you get so low, it is very difficult to get back up, especially by yourself.
I see that you have asked God for help. Please believe that help will come. It may not be when you expect it, but it will come. Hold on to your faith in God and yourself. May the help you need come quickly.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)surprisingly gladdened. This happened later today and this evening.
A dear person offered a service and a grandad walking his boy up our road mentioned his daughter just moved in few places down and they love to help people out with their needs.
Peace06
(248 posts)So happy for you! I hope things continually get better for you. I am old and have lived long enough to observe and experience that God always comes to our rescue. It is hardly ever when or how we want it. But hindsight reveals it is always in the best way we never thought of. May you find contentment!
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)I'm not young myself, but get delight and reassurance when I ask for a sign and The Ancient of Days gifts one!
May well-being and serenity be to you. And may every one of your needs be met. 💙
Squinch
(52,739 posts)about it. That is a good idea. Even maybe a grief group. You aren't alone in how you feel and maybe it would help to talk to others about it.
I wish you relief. Be good to yourself.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)shenmue
(38,537 posts)sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)mnhtnbb
(32,061 posts)Just sent you a DU mail.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)LiberalLoner
(10,107 posts)I hope somehow you will find the strength and spirit to keep breathing.
Some days are hard, some days you cant have a good day, so you just have a day.
Please hang in there until better days come and be good to yourself and talk to us when you need a hug.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)I don't wish to burden anyone. My 'virtue' in that is to a fault.
iamateacher
(1,100 posts)I do think talking to a professional or a group would very much help. Take care of yourself and remember all of your feelings are okay.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)There's so much. Just having a neutral sounding board.
💙
chia
(2,370 posts)but sometimes being able to work through grief with a therapist can ease us through the rough spots that a complicated loss can bring. It was so helpful for me to talk to an unrelated third party, the first time I'd ever been able to unload all my thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. But that was my experience, you can only know yours as you live it, but if you ever think you might want to try, it may become your experience too. I always held myself back when confiding in friends or relatives because I didn't want them to know everything, so I could never completely unpack the baggage until I went to my first therapy sessions ever and found out "so that's what non-judgmental, empathic listening feels like..."
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)I do appreciate your wisdom and experience. 💙
lostnfound
(16,635 posts)When my mom died, one truth absolutely flooded in and helped me: I was hurting precisely because she was such a huge blessing in my life, and I was so LUCKY to have known her. I learned at age 23 that grief is like gratitude turned inside out.
Even a complicated, difficult relationship can be a blessing that changes us, teaches us, deepens our experience of life. Carl Jung was known for saying, show me where a mans greatest pain is today, and I will show you where his greatest growth will be tomorrow.
When you read (or write) a book, the best parts of chapter 5 or 7 are still there even when youre in the middle of chapter 10. They dont go away. Lifes book is on the library shelf in the sky when youre done, and somewhere outside of time, we are still children and growing and in love and succeeding and failing. We may not like the plot of the chapter we are writing now, but keep moving and you can wrap it up into a good meaningful ending.
Lastly, I suggest reading a book or two by Jungian author Thomas Moore, like Care of the Soul and The Re-enchantment of Everyday Life or Original Self. When I read Re-enchantment, it was like water pouring in to a dry desert.
Jungians suggest turning pain into art, music or writing anything creative and also mulling over the deeper (and wider) soul-level meanings of how we are feelings. Not as guilt, but as one of the Greek gods making its voice heard, or as our inner daemon (not demon, but a driving force or spirit in our deepest psyche) expressing itself.
sprinkleeninow
(20,546 posts)Each of us has part of the 'divine' in ourselves.
'...a driving force/spirit in our deepest psyche..."
Thank you for directing me to these authors.
💙