About the pomp and flourishes so many Jews add to a bar or bat mitzvah.

I was born and raised in Brooklyn, surrounded by many Jewish communities. My parents sent me to reform Hebrew school but didn't expect me to have a bat mitzvah, which was not yet common practice for females. I wanted the honor and duty, but they argued they didn't have the money to throw a big party, which was and is the cultural norm in larger Jewish communities. I successfully lobbied them, that the party didn't matter, that I just wanted the bat mitzvah.

So they agreed, and ordered kosher food platters from meal mart and invited people into our small home for lunch. Renting a hall and catering was too costly, and I didn't have grandparents, and only a local aunt and uncle attended, no out of town guests. And that weekend in Fall, 1974, they took me and a small group of friends to Cookies steak house and dinner theatre, where we ate and saw the show "Lover's and other strangers," a totally inappropriate play for 12-14 year old girls. I don't have a single photo from that weekend.

While part of me wishes I had some pictures, it's the act of having the bat-mitzvah that was important. And I guess if it's a big catered thing like a wedding with family and out of town guests, people want photos to commemorate it. But I live in the south now, much smaller Jewish communities, and the bar and bat mitzvah celebrations are much more low key. No fancy catering or photographers, just lunch with the congregation and family guests. Before covid.

I will add that his photos are amazing. My mother was born and raised on the outskirts of Montreal, and my parents were married there. I'm glad there's still a thriving Jewish community.