And yes, you're going to hell.

My uncle used to say it's a damn shame Jesus can't drive any better than her.

humorous about those things, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Now I know.

Like operating rooms, for instance. Why don't they insist on putting up a little shrine in an operating room when one of them kicks the bucket there?

Those roadside things look like graves, for fucks sake.

Don't the unfortunate victims have a real grave? Presumedly with its own cross?

Just strikes me as morbid as hell, not to mention sort of " Hey! Look at me!"

Fallback position: Anyone who drove off the road wasn't really a Christian, regardless of what they said.

you'll be in good company.

too near or try to cross the road. Horrible, but all too common, Christian or not.

At 9 am he was on his way to work on the route he always took, and someone came around the curve IN MY BIL's LANE and hit him head on. The other guy lived. Amazingly, the other guy wasn't drunk at the time. He was in diabetic shock.

Big tragedy all the way around.

(note that I don't put up or contribute to those shrines but I respect the feelings of those who do.)

I'll save you a seat by the fire. Bring weinies.

One fine winter day, Mr. and Mrs. Billy Graham were driving thru the North Carolina mountains. Suddenly they came up behind a car weaving all over the road.

To his wife Billy said: "That poor fellow must be sick." To himself he said: I better get around this damn drunk before we have an accident.

So Billy put the pedal to the metal and swung out to pass the weaving car. But Billy's car hit a patch of ice, shot off the road, went thru a barbed-wire fence, and rolled over. Thrice.

Mr. and Mrs. Graham crawled out of the wreckage, mostly unhurt, and Billy proclaimed it a Certified Miracle.

Then they saw the drunk staggering toward them. "Are you folks all right?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you," Billy said. "JEEE-ZUSSS is riding with us!"

"Well, maybe you better let him ride with me. You're gonna kill him."

proselytizing and spreading the gospel.

I shouldn't be laughing so hard.

Before taking a dump , swimming ,driving ,flying and eating at Taco Bell .