the Bible Stories as a kid. I loved belonging to something greater than myself. I never believed in the miracles. To me the miracle was showing up to Sunday school on I think a Saturday and been taken with other kids to a Jewish Synagog to learn about being Jewish. Or how kind Jesus was. My grandparents would get us to pray when we spent the night at their house. I can still pray when in church at a funeral out of respect for the ritual and my ancestors and the parts of the Bible I still believe in and the people in my life and past who have been religious and were the greatest eggs.

I guess I was agnostic as a child.

I realized they made up the rules differently in each one. The last one when I was about 11 was an evangelical Lutheran church .

The last was the end of my Christianity. So patriarchal, so mean spirited so superior to anyone.
Hated it the most.

my critical thinking years kicked in.

BIG MISTAKE. Parents: NEVER. DO. THIS.

The misogynistic bible stories about women and "evil Eve" and how all women deserve punishment and are sluts and to be mistrusted due to this, and about childbirth and women's place and so on. REPULSIVE.

And my sister is deeply religious. She's MAGA of course. My Mom (a Democrat) was Christian too, but she was a normal Christian with common sense. The Bible was written by men in a time none of us have ever seen. I mean what self-respecting person - especially a female - would go along with what's in there?

Christianity is patriarchal. And stolen from paganism (which was more matriarchal if not more egalitarian in general). It's politics. Look at how it's being shoved into government, schools, down our throats, up women's vaginas, and everywhere else they can cram it?

Ugh. It's just revolting. And none of it makes sense. God created heaven and earth. He created the humans who are destroying the earth. Allegedly we were put here to fix that/help/make the world better. Honestly, it's not possible. It just isn't. What God would create a world full of hate, greed, lust, and suffering, slam people into it then tell them: "You fix it". What? I didn't make this mess caused by humans. I didn't make humans. They are a defective product. You blame the manufacturer, not the product.

See there. None of it makes sense. Pfft. Please... I mean it was just hell no from the get-go for me.

I don't think the Christian God was always used to bludgeon the masses into submission but it seems to be the case today.

"It's politics. Look at how it's being shoved into government, schools, down our throats, up women's vaginas, and everywhere else they can cram it?"

Exactly right. How could the Dancing Supremes have outlawed abortion again without this imaginary God that doesn't like women?

How could the Stinking Nazi have gotten so close to power without pretending he was select by the super daddy in the sky? God has becoming just another propaganda tool for America's filthy-rich.

That got me interested in what religion was all about, and I read the entire Bible between 13-14 years old. I have been an atheist ever since. I am 80 yo.

Realized I was a second-class citizen in my church as a female. Pfffft

that Catholic schools were training grounds for future ex-Catholics.

Like you, my 8 years of Catholic school turned me into a non-believer.
A priest asked me why I had quit attending church, and I told him that while I liked the theory (love your neighbor, care for the less fortunate, etc.), I couldn’t accept the reality.

I held the Bible in one hand and a physics textbook in the other and asked myself which one made more sense. No contest.

Seriously though, when I started to notice how "God" was depicted in stories that demonstrated some of the worst characteristics of humanity, then I realized that "God" was created in Man's image rather than the reverse. Light bulb moment for me.

You are born with no god beliefs. You have to be indoctrinated to be a theist.

from birth, and must at some point cast off the bullshit. I was thankfully subjected only to the minimalist Unitarian religion, but nonetheless was shackled by weekly Sunday School - even after telling my mother that I would never believe the doctrine. So "becoming" an atheist was an act of denial, rebellion, and liberation. Thank you Jeebus!

Most Unitarians do not, but every UU church is different.

believed in the Bible, which to me is doctrine. Nowadays not so much - the saying goes that Unitarians pray "to whom it may concern." Most of my friends growing up were Catholic, complete with Mass in Latin and Friday Confessional - "Say 20 Hail Mary's." Hours after Confession they would go out (with me) and commit the exact same sins again.

Atheists who want somewhere to go on Sunday mornings.

we don't believe them.

As a young person I thought that so many people seemed to believe, they must know something I don't, or understand something I can't. From age 14 Christianity didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but there was so much talk about "faith" I thought I must be doing it wrong. And--it's scary to walk alone, until you realize that's what you've been doing it your whole life. Reading the writings of the four horsemen of atheism cleared my head nicely.

and the Easter Bunny don't exist. I guess I must
be missing something, I can't believe in something I can't see. I am not the sharpest
knife in the drawer but I can't see how people much smarter than me believe. All our politicians claim to believe in God even that fool Trump. I just wonder how many really do.
My best friends growing up were Cathlic, they would do the same bad stuff as me, they would say three Hail Mary's and be forgiven while I going to hell.

I loved fairy tales and read all of my grandparent's beautiful editions of them, and so basically thought Bible stories were the same kind of imaginative stories. The problem came when it was insisted I not question them. I also never felt the presence of 'God' or 'Jesus' at church, but did feel more awestruck by the ocean or walking through the forest. Nature gave me goosebumps.
It became easy for me to transfer my spiritual quest to the earth and universe(s), and to my own senses as I grew up.
I laugh when people look up when they pray because as far as I am concerned we hold the powers and abilities we seek within us. We are responsible. For everything.

Last edited Wed May 1, 2024, 08:40 PM - Edit history (1)

Awake in the car headed back home to NC from Montgomery, listening to my four babies sleeping in the back of the station wagon while my crazy husband went careening up and down and around the narrow, two-lane mountain roads (pre I-85) in the dense fog at 80 miles an hour.

Sitting there alone with my thoughts and grief, trying to find consolation in the vision of my baby brother rising from his mortal body and flapping his gossamer wings heading off toward heaven, it occurred to me well, if hubby wrecks the car and we all die at least we'll all go flapping off to heaven and be with Brother. All of a sudden I nearly laughed out loud at the thought that I could actually believe such a thing and me now a full grown woman. And I absolutely hated that I couldn't share my epiphany with Brother.

On that foggy mountain I found my consolation that night and later in knowing that our dear grandmother would take great comfort in that heavenly vision. She was one of the only "christians" I ever knew who practiced what my granddaddy (a Southern Baptist preacher) preached. A wonderful, good-hearted person she was. She deserved whatever comfort her religion brought her. For myself, I was just glad we had him for 19 years.

But I had absolutely no one to share it with - then. A few years later I found many atheist friends and kindred spirits in the anti-war movement. And did my best to teach my children to think things through and believe in whatever came to make sense to them.

There were signs when I was younger, though. I did give a lot of thought to arguments I had with my grandfather when I was a young teen-ager and would ask him things like, where exactly did Adam and Eve's son Cain GO to find his wife? And why is it men have all their ribs if god took one? He would give me some cock and bull story that made no sense to either of us. Made me wonder if he really believed all that stuff, way before my brother died.

Wat

I'm sure you have many kindred spirits here at DU. It feels more like family for me than my blood family.

I'd been reading mythology and information about a lot of different religions before that, but around seven was when I first encountered the word. So I guess it depends on how you look at it. I don't recall ever having been religious, but I found out what you call that when I was about seven.

Edited to add that that was very interesting in the Piney Woods of deep east Texas.

I have realized that 90% of the people who were raised as a Catholic turned into Atheists.

I went to CCD (Sat school for Catholics) and when I was 11 my mom asked if I wanted to go anymore and I said NO WAY! Even back then I knew it was BS and sleeping late on Sat was a no brainer.

while my mother dragged us kids off to Sunday School every week. He knew that I was a very poor candidate for brainwashing.

It started in my early single digit years, but solidified in my early teens. I went to Sunday school a few times when really young, but already was skeptical of all the talking burning bush and Noah's ark bullshit, already knowing that crap could never happen in reality.

Religion in public isn't so in your face in Canada as it is in the US, so it was mostly just my highly verbally abusive and hypocritical, projecting religious grandmother that convinced me.

She was the example that showed me that hate-filled assholes hide behind that book of fairy tales, using it as a shield to shit in others so they can feel self righteous about themselves.

when it clicked in that if god was all knowing what was I doing in the confessional telling the priest my sins?

They all seemed to be the same thing to me: fake as fuck. Edited to add that I used to look around at family members and think, "you people believe this shit?"

It also helped when about a year or two before the Catholic church pissed off my grandparents and we never went to church again. My uncle wanted an annulment and the church wouldn't grant it without a substantial (read unaffordable) "payment" along with it. My grandfather said at the time that it appears he can worship God just a well in a boat fishing on Sunday mornings as he could in a church that was only in it for the money.

You don't fuck with people's kids and expect them to take it.

Fixed it for me. No way I wanted to spend eternity with people I couldn't put up with for ten minutes.
That, and priests and nuns were meaner than the dog in a Jim Croce song.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun

believing after that was not gonna happen.

Ok maybe not those exact words, but suffice it to say the concept of god did not remotely fit into any of my understanding of anything.

That’s when I finally gave up and said if there is a God and he allowed that to happen then I don’t want any part of him. Honestly I miss it. Saying a prayer before sleep asking for protection of my family was peaceful and relaxing. Now I just try to manifest to the Universe peace and order in the world.

I was Bar Mitzvahed and read Torah before that.

I went because my parents sent me. I didn't have a bad experience. I went along, i got a good education but just never believed. I look now at churches and religions as social.
If I go to a church I am polite and follow their rules to an extent. I just don't believe there is a God, a devil, angels. I don't think the Bible is more than a type of morality stories.
If one is good and loving and helpful they are. If they are nasty they are.

Then god decided to speak English.
Meanwhile we were in the back eating the round crackers
and drinking the Country Vinyard wine.

later when I was learning about it, I asked my grandmother - so: Henry VIII made up this religion so he could divorce his wife to marry his pregnant girlfriend, who he later had beheaded? Grandma stared at me and replied, "Well we don't put it like that". I realized what a crock of shit religion was.....I would have been about 11 years old then

Sounds like Herr Von Shitzenpants.

in the South, went to Sunday School and Church every Sunday. The tradition in our church was our class would sit together after SS for the Church service and at around that age the preacher would ask for those who accepted JC as their savior to come to the front and profess that to the preacher and would then be scheduled for baptism. My brother and sister did so and I did not. It did not please my parents or grandmother. I just did not believe it.

During college, I did attend church with my girlfriend several times and did not mention my disbelief. I was ashamed to admit it. For years after, even after getting married, neither my DW nor I said anything to our families - both who were churchgoers.

To be totally honest, we only admitted our disbelief in the last few years. After seeing and hearing the white evangelical community support and embrace the Trump campaign and presidency did we decide to stop the charade.

My opinion about religion is that it is a personal choice. I don't really what someone believes as long as they don't push it on me. We live in a rural part of Texas, and it is not conducive to establish friendship with most of our neighbors.

After attending a Catholic grade school with only white people, my eyes were opened to diversity and education without a religious perspective.

I had my serious doubts and became jaded as a teen, so took a big breather from church back then and called myself agnostic at that time. At the invitation of a friend, I decided to give church another shot in my early 30s, thinking the whole faith thing, and the lack thereof, was my fault. So I started back to a new church, in a new city... fresh beginnings. After the birth of my first child, however, and witnessing the same old blatant hypocrisy of those in my supposed "church family," that I witnessed from the time I was a kid, I was well and truly done for good. Solidly agnostic now, because I do believe there is some universal energy at the source of all life, but it ain't anything like the whoppers and manipulations told in the Bible.

When I was about 11 I was introduced to fossils, atomic dating methods and plate tectonics. This was when I started thinking about the incongruities between science and religion.

By my late teens it was clear that stories such as that of Noah were merely ways to explain to curious humans why there were marine fossils on the tops of mountains or what is a rainbow. I was firmly agnostic by this point.

In college I was exposed to the rigors of the scientific method. It was there that I learned that the story of the great flood actually predated history. A mythology class taught me many ridiculous beliefs that various cultures have held. This is when I first embraced athesim.

In ensuing years, when having theological discussions and being pressed to commit one way or another, I would respond with "on a good day I'm merely agnostic."

Over the years I've been fortunate enough to have witnessed scientist's growing understanding of the quantum universe. Paradigms that once seemed so sure now waver at the edge of what we may soon be able to observe. Could there be a Schrodinger's God?

Another influence on my thoughts have been the lovely psychedelics that have come my way. I have heard that if one takes them often enough you'll eventually see God. I haven't actually seen God but I have been intimently in their presence on several occasions. During those episodes,and continuing with me now, I want nothing more than to remain in the presence of the peace, love, joy, blinding light and the sense that beings I will know and love are all around me; just out of sight.

Now, in my 60's, I still can't believe in the Old Testament. I am pretty fond of Jesus' teachings but the hatred and ignorance of a substantial number who purport to be his followers keep me from claiming to be a Christian. I don't know enough about any other religion to know what my beliefs about them may really be.

So, rationally and in the absence of some convincing evidence, I remain an atheist. Psychedelic experiences may just be manifestations of my hope. I do know that that there is so much that my pitiful human mind can never comprehend. I do believe that the universe holds wonders that would astound us and may be, actually, god-like(?).

I'll paraphrase Mark Twain. When asked if he feared death he asked why he should. He said that he knew nothing in the eternity before he was born and that he wouldn't know anything after he died. Here's to hoping he's wrong and my psychedelic vision is more the model of what's to come.

If only I could believe.

Born an atheist.

Became an atheist humanist in October, 1984. Two things coincided: Finished 3-1/2 years of therapy where I became self-confident and self-reliant. I didn't need parents or God, and went to my first humanist get-together. Discovered I was more humanist than Jewish.

From there, I discovered freethought and became involved with the Freedom From Religion Foundation.

And from there, I discovered the Ethical Culture Society (Felix Adler).

I have discovered communities where I fit in, unlike Judaism where I felt I was being judged for not being "Jewish" enough.

when I found more fellowship at dragstrip than at my church. !8 years of Pentecost, Evangelical teaching interchurch politics was enough.

"I attend church at Yellow Belly Dragstrip"

Thats a real bumper sticker from yellow belly drag strip Grand Prarie Texas

...though arguably neither of my parents were really Mormon, more "jack" Mormon (both smoked, drank tea/coffee, drank alcohol, and to my knowledge never paid tithing). BUT, as a child I went to Primary every Wednesday and to Sunday school most weekends (more to get me and my siblings out of the house than to ensure our proper religious training). Even as a child I knew I didn't quite believe what they were teaching, but I kept it to myself. When I was a teen, as part of a Mutual* (*Mormon program for young adults) exercise, I even memorized the Articles of Faith - word for word. I can still recite a lot of it, some 40+ years later. But it was merely rote memorization on my part - none of it truly spoke to me. I was more moved by Christmas songs, or by watching Ben-Hur.

When I was in my 20s, I acknowledged to myself that I wasn't a Mormon, or even a Christian (God sent himself to Earth in order to be sacrificed to Himself for humanity to earn His forgiveness for "sins" He made up in the first place? Made no sense.). I researched other religions to see if perhaps they made more sense, felt "right" to me. But the more I read, the more I came to see that it was all just a bunch of myths made up by men (quite specifically by men) to explain what they couldn't understand (which, at the time, was almost everything) and to justify their horrific behavior. It was all make-believe. I realized then that I was atheist. I shared this with one of my siblings at the time and she acknowledged that she, too, was atheist (though I already suspected she was). Many years later, my other siblings acknowledged the same (the oldest did so only last year).

I'm still moved by Christmas songs, and by Ben-Hur. I'm also moved by West Side Story, Bonnie Raitt, ASPCA ads, and a bunch of other things. But they're not deserving of my worship either.

save people on a small tv screen when I was about 10 years old in the 50's.
My grandfather was an old-timey Methodist - no drinking ( I actually found his Temperance membership card after he died), no playing card games including solitaire on Sundays, also no real cooking on Sundays just heat up what had been prepared for the Sunday meal from the day before. When my sister and I spent a couple of weeks with him in the summers, he took us to tent revival meetings which I found hilarious with people rushing to the preachers to be blessed and saved from their sins. My grandfather was one of those people and I never understood why he would do that because he was a very good hard-working man, much beloved by his family and his community.

Went to catechism, but had to ask what I was supposed to say to kid behind me when waiting for my "host" during first communion. All I remember is a few things from the indoctrination class...one was if given a list of possible items you could have if stranded and alone... I chose food and water, matches, and shelter (never considered the Bible choice, seemed pretty useless to me even then). That and a Sister explaining we were all there because our parents were Catholic and...I raised my hand and said my Mom wasn't so should I not be there? Young Father Mike was kinda cute. I think he quit being a priest a few decades after.

I answered the phone call inquiring why I wasn't signed up for confirmation classes. Told the caller I wasn't a believer and hung up.

I have nothing against believers. Life would have been easier believing and belonging. I do have a problem with many religious leaders using "religion" to manipulate people for personal gain, money, and power. I admit not all religious leaders are like that.

who reminded me of the eternal dmsnstion thing.

Didn't die that night and didn't go to hell, but I did lose my faith immediately.

Religion was sold hard in Dixie in the 50s and 60s but I wasn't buying. Our public school would have traveling evangelist visit the school to preach to us and demand attendance by the whole school. We did the Lord's Prayer every day before class right before the Pledge of Allegiance. I don't think that there was a Catholic or Jew in the school, certainly no Muslims, but there were no Asians, Blacks or Hispanics either; we were Lilly white.

A very common question, in that time, when you were being introduced to someone, was,"What church do you attend?" I still get that every once in a while now. I just answer, "I don't and have to deal with putting the poor soul in a state of shock. Seriously, I have had strangers gasp getting that answer.

When I went into the Navy I had to select the religion that I practiced. They let me know, in no uncertain terms that none was not an option. (1971) if killed, I would have been buried as a protestant. I think, but am not sure that my dog-tags had Methodist on them. There were no atheist in the Navy in the day.

Last edited Thu May 2, 2024, 08:24 PM - Edit history (1)

Worked in a training center for physically and mentally handicapped. Some very sad people lived there, and I could not believe in a god that supposedly created everyone with “God’s plan: what kind of plan, for these poor individuals, and their families? No loving deity would cause such suffering. And, also, around the same time, came across the Epicurean Paradox

And the worship of the orange menace as a god by evangelical church members has really made me agnostic!

This was the height of Satanic Panic. One of those anti-rock seminars came to town.

About this time i'd discovered Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and a whole litany of classic rock bands.

Anyway, this whole church held seminar was nothing but a rock and roll bash fest, with quotes taken out of context, made up "scientific" bullshit, with outright lies.

I wondered to myself why anyone would be so afraid and against something that brought so many people joy?

Simple answer was control.

It was jong journey, but the real truth began to reveal itself

My mom wasn’t baptized so she and my dad didn’t have their children baptized. My brothers were baptized later. My dad was catholic.

Read the Bible cover to cover. Ugh.

When I was 5 or 6 I went to a bible camp type of thing for a few months. I think it was over the summer and probably just a way for my single mother to get the kids out of the house for a few hours.

It was sort of like Kindergarten, but about Christianity. We had fun activities meant to teach us about Jesus, such as singing Christian children's songs. One of them was "I'm in the Lord's Army."

I may never march in the infantry
Ride in the cavalry
Shoot the artillery
I may never shoot for the enemy
But I’m in the Lord’s army!

I was an advanced reader and started reading the old testament I felt like I was reading a horror book written about a malignant narcissist.

I was technically Catholic though my parents did not practice the furthest I went was first Communion, I had no interest in Confirmation and they did not push.

Now the Ironic part is some years I get quite a bit of work doing specialty woodwork for the catholic church. I was asked to do a inlay in front of the alter on a church 16 years ago, next I knew I was making the sanctuary furniture and wall appointments.

Just finished a coat of arms for a new Archbishop. In all these years I have never been asked what my religion is or if I practice. But I will take their money.

The Church I disliked working in was the one named for Saint Bellearmine he was on a judges council that condemned Giordano Bruno to death for promoting the belief that the earth revolves around the sun, he also went after Galileo.

Another reason to despise Catholicism, why was this guy canonized and sainted?

... and a minister told me that was bad. Seriously. He quoted all kinds of anti-woman scripture to me. And I thought, "If loving these amazing wonderous girls is bad, I don't want to be right!" I wasn't that clever in my thinking then, but I chose girls over god at 13 years old. And my journey to atheism started then.

..said something about how I like the feeling (of relief) when i pee. ( ok maybe i was much younger) anyway I thought why would that 'good feeling' be taken away from me in heaven? Then i pondered what do we do in heaven? just float about?

Then when I was older...in jr hi...i had a crush on the Preachers son. Our youth group even had a small party at the preacher/pastor/reverend/ whatever's home.. Well the church (Calvary Baptist in the Pacific NW but wasnt toooooo preach-y except for the damn flannel boards about the rapture..who the hell would show that to little kids?). Anyway, that innocent dance party got the Pastor fired. Again.. the church took away something i enjoyed.

When I was 18 I publicly denounced organized religion while in a car with a bunch of friends at the drive in watching Peter Fondas 'The Trip".

After that, I referred to myself as agnostic until..UNTIL... George W Bushs' reign and I saw a Ron Reagan Jr ad for the 'Freedom from Religion Foundation'. He always ended it with something like 'I'm Ronald Reagan and I'm not afraid of going to hell'. THATS when i stopped referring to myself as 'agnostic' when i damn well KNEW it was all bullshit. So I joined the FFRF..i even turned in a cpl offenders in my area.

and Im not going back!