"Have a wonderful evening"
I picked up a pizza for supper last night and almost had to leave the store without it. Everyone was so cheerful.
"Hi! how are you doing?" (well, my dad just died)
"Welcome to pizza store. What can we get for you?" (happiness?)
"It'll be right up!" (
)
I stood at the edge of the store, arms crossed over my chest, hands under my arms, waiting rather than running because I really wanted to take a pizza home for my husband.
"Here's your pizza. Hope you have a great evening" (
)
However, progress was made in that I ate a piece and my stomach didn't hurt.
For history, it was expected, he was old, I'm a nurse who does in home care, home health, hospice and had to play it out as a family member letting someone I love die.
It's been a month. Steps forward, steps back, steps forward.
Best wishes to you all.
= new reply since forum marked as read
I hear you, oh do I ever hear you about steps forward, steps back. My therapist tells me that grief is like this.
It's been about 6 weeks since Chris died (WCGreen, my dear friend) and the steps are getting further apart. I am finally going more than 24 hours between serious crying spells.
It does get better, though I'll be damned if I know why. I mean, he's gone, he's not coming back, and I just have to accept that. Some days are much easier than others.
Such a tough time, those hours and days after losing a parent. Takes a long time, I know, to work through the sadness and emptiness of heart. I've been through it several times, losing my parents and other family members in the past few years. Some pain never truly abates. Just remember, your father is worthy of your tears. Your love is a tribute to him, and you have been a wonderful, caring daughter, a true blessing to him. Steps forward, steps back is a familiar pattern. Cherish the memories. Stay strong and honor your own feelings.
