I hear you, dear girl...

Special days are so difficult.

Last edited Sat Aug 22, 2015, 01:17 AM - Edit history (1)

shirt. I'll see if mom has any. Thanks.

Please accept my sympathies.

I got through it.

and i don't remember that first birthday, i was still stunned & in shock.

but each year after that we "celebrate" her birthday. i make her favorite foods for dinner, we have a cake in her honor, we set a place for her at the table. we share our memories of her.

it's always bittersweet.

my friend's family has been doing that in honor of his father for years. i was told it was an italian tradition. (my friend is italian.) i don't know for sure, one way or the other. but i think it's a nice tradition to have and you don't have to be any particular nationality in order to do it.

maybe it would be the perfect time to wear one of those shirts.

to eat on his birthday but we didn't really talk about him. I followed my Mom's lead and it was obvios she was struggling. 68 years of marriage - can you imagine?


I was able to get into her house today (I had a stroke) and my husband and I spent the afternoon with her. We always spent holidays with them because my siblings didn't. We did talk about Dad and laughed at some of the things he did. Then I sobbed all the way home.

It seems all the shirts are gone. I don't know why I didn't ask before. I started my Dad's love affair with those shirts when I bought him one in Florida. He loved all the pockets.

I'm sorry your Mom passed away. I hope you are well.

I can't believe how much I miss him and how hard it is.

i imagine it must be very hard for your mom.

i had to google to see what those shirts looked like (i'm obviously not familiar with them)

they meant a lot to you (in part b/c they meant a lot to your dad--which was all your fault to begin with because you started it! lol) . i think you should go out and buy yourself one and just tell your dad: "i really want to get you another one of these shirts, i miss seeing you wear them, and i know you loved them. but since you won't be wearing *this* one, i'm going to wear it for you. so i have to make sure it's my size."

tell him! go get a shirt. you want to feel close to him sometimes then put the shirt on!

i'm sure he would be rather amused if you did that.

and it might even help be a bit of a comfort to you. (it's okay that it's not one of his old shirts--it would have been nice, but you would have gotten him another one eventually anyway. make that one a shirt you can wear.)

i'm glad you spent some time talking with your mom. and i understand how emotional it can be.

my mom passed away coming up on six years. i'm not adapting/adjusting like most people are able to do--but that's okay. i probably would have done well with grief counseling but i wasn't able to get help. (it's complicated.) but if you are able to get some--even in a group setting--it might be extremely beneficial.

when my dad passed--years and years ago--his church offered group counseling to the family members and although *i* didn't belong to the church i went and it was very helpful for me.

take care.

one of those shirts. Is it too late to ask?

Mom gave them to my older sister to give them to a church clothing closet. Mom asked my sister to see if she can get one back but I would be surprised if my sister even checks.