Bereavement

auntAgonist

(17,257 posts) Sat Mar 26, 2016, 11:06 AM Mar 2016

I found this short article and I want to share it with you all.

I'm sure there are some who will wholeheartedly disagree with it and some who will find it spot on.

However you find it please know that it's not posted as a challenge to your belief system at all.

Posted with respect and regard for everyone's feelings.

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason

I've grieved many times in my life. I've been overwhelmed with shame and self-hatred so strong it’s nearly killed me.

The ones who helped—the only ones who helped—were those who were there. And said nothing.

In that nothingness, they did everything.

I am here—I have lived—because they chose to love me. They loved me in their silence, in their willingness to suffer with me, alongside me, and through me. They loved me in their desire to be as uncomfortable, as destroyed, as I was, if only for a week, an hour, even just a few minutes.

Most people have no idea how utterly powerful this is.

4 replies

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I found this short article and I want to share it with you all. (Original Post) auntAgonist Mar 2016 OP

It's not about feeling better. Wilms Mar 2016 #1

OK. auntAgonist Mar 2016 #2

Gee. Sorry to havenot been clearer. Wilms Mar 2016 #3

You are absolutely right! auntAgonist Mar 2016 #4

Wilms

(26,795 posts)

1. It's not about feeling better.

Reply to auntAgonist (Original post)

Sat Mar 26, 2016, 11:20 AM

Mar 2016

It's about feeling, period. Better will follow naturally.

Grieve well. We've all heard of a "good cry".

auntAgonist

(17,257 posts)

2. OK.

Reply to Wilms (Reply #1)

Sat Mar 26, 2016, 11:36 AM

Mar 2016

As I said some will like it and some won't it's not meant as a challenge.

I'm not sure if your post was meant to chastise me or what (?)

Wilms

(26,795 posts)

3. Gee. Sorry to havenot been clearer.

Reply to auntAgonist (Reply #2)

Sat Mar 26, 2016, 11:49 AM

Mar 2016

I wholeheartedly agree with what was expressed in the OP. I have been on both sides of that. Just "being there" for someone is key.

Often, we might feel inclined to help someone "feel better". But by just being there, it helps someone experience their sadness, after which they do feel better.

auntAgonist

(17,257 posts)

4. You are absolutely right!

Reply to Wilms (Reply #3)

Sat Mar 26, 2016, 11:56 AM

Mar 2016

Thank you for answering.

I have a hard time 'reading' the meanings in some posts and I tend to overthink things.

I try really hard to find good stuff for the people here and help out where I can.

I'm having a 'day' today. Ah, who am I kidding I'm having a week! Everything I'm hearing and reading is being taken wrong by me.

I'm sorry I misunderstood your reply to me. It shouldn't have been that hard to understand.

my apologies.

kesha

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