great loss. Great pain .Somedays I think I am takinging "too long" today is a an as long as it takes day...

(my mom's house) for the past six months and am heartbroken to leave it

i can't/won't get into it now but i've been in the process of anticipatory grief over this house for as long as my mom has been gone (over six years now).

i sat outside the other night, knowing it was my last full moon from the backyard. cried my eyes out. i've been here for 51 years.

the grief over having to lose this place has been tremendous

but i ran out the clock and then some

i've never really moved before (except when i was seven and moved here)

i hate goodbyes.

and change

especially when there is such a sentimental attachment.

When we had to sell my mom's house, I took a few shoots from the lilac bush and some bulbs from the day lilies and replanted them at my house. It gives me some comfort and memories when they bloom each spring.

Is there something you can take with you? A root from a favorite plant or tree?

at least inside
including my mother's room, although there will not be a separate room for her furniture--i can't afford a three bedroom condo
friends and neighbors are taking as much as they want from the yard--otherwise everything will die--it's all getting torn up and torn down

i grew up here, i raised my daughter here, i have always been here, this place is my solace.

there is no planting anything at the condo--otherwise that would be a great idea.

anyway...

nothing--not a fucking thing--i can do about it. i tried. i tried my best.

the moving day is getting closer; i think i'm entering into a weird sort of shock stage--feeling rather numb, and dead inside.

oh well. i can't fix it and i can't change it.

perhaps i will adapt to my new surroundings. (honestly i never thought i'd get this far)

Use existing hooks, if necessary. -(You can always move them later if you choose.)

A large photo or drawing of the old home is a good choice for starters. - It will be reassuring to see the familiar.)

I don't know what to say, except that I care, and I'm here if you ever want to reach out.

that you have to say 'goodbye' to be able to move on but you don't have to forget the beautiful things from your past.

When I read "six years" I audibly gasped! How time passes and leaves us behind in our grief and longing for happier places.

You have soldiered on and deserve some real positive changes in your life my friend.

You know I am here for you any time you feel a need or just a desire to talk to someone. I'm always here for everyone in the group.

We've become our own little family here and we support one another as best we can.


Crying is good therapy.
Take lots of photos and write down some of your most favourite and happiest memories.

So many of our group are struggling and this video has come at a good time for a lot of us.

I hope you're doing alright.

with gratitude.

kesha