Please be gentle with yourself.

So sorry to hear that....not much else anyone can say at a time like this but to tell you others among us care.

I cannot imagine your grief.

I lost my fiancee to suicide several decades ago so I understand the shock.

I wish the two of you could have enjoyed your senior years together.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm at a loss for words. We expect to age with our siblings to our natural deaths, and when life doesn't go as planned, it can be devastating. Sending you healing prayers.

Do you have anyone to talk to? Please reach out for help immediately, there are resources. Where are you, I'm sure someone will be able to help you set up.

Hang in there.

you have of your sister help ease the shock and sadness of the loss. My sympathy to the family and all who knew and loved your sister.

this is so sad. You have suffered a big loss. You have my sympathy.

I am really sorry, and give you my sympathy.

So incredibly sorry for your loss...hope you are able to find some solace and peace after such a traumatic experience. Lean on the folks here...we may fight back and forth, but people genuinely care for each other. My thoughts and prayers are with you!

I know someone who found thier brother who shot himself, he had so many different feelings from finding him , losing him and angry that his brother did it because of a romantic breakup ( again an issue of not being able to move on)
please take care and I wish you peace

My heart goes out to you, dear sf.

talk this through with

The arrangements and everything else are going to be tough, and I hope you don't have to do this alone

Take care

I am beyond inadequate in conveying how much concern I feel for you and all who loved your sister.

May many many many rally behind you, support you and may you find peace in that shower of caring.

It's so hard to deal with. I encourage you to call Hospice. They have free counseling and it's very helpful. Suicide is a special type of loss and they will understand. Also, be very gentle with yourself and don't place expectations on how you should be feeling. Just try to flow with it and give yourself lots of time to heal and accept. Best to you.

I didn't know Hospice was a resource.
Please use every resource available to lean on.


My heart breaks for you....and there's lots of kindness here at DU anytime you need....but get in contact with support systems in real life. Please. When trauma hits, this is what we need most.

All my sympathy. Peace to you and your son and granddaughter.

is so devastating. My heart is with you.

I can't even imagine how bad this is for your family. We are here, and we are thinking about you.

My sister Committed suicide in 1978 at the age of 34… her two small children found her…

you felt. May your Sister rest in peace.

May you find peace.

Dealing with suicide is a difficult journey, so much confusion and conflicting emotions. Please do yourself a favor and look into getting some support to help you navigate this hard path.

Love, peace and hugs to you.

how sad and tragic for both you and your sister. The shock of finding her is unimaginable.

I'm no expert on these things, but if you're feeling angry, then that's OK. We might be able to censor our words or modulate our public actions, but we can't control our feelings.

Be kind to yourself.

There has not been a single day since that I haven't though about him. So very sorry!

I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling. It's going to be hard moving forward from this, but you have a good support system here at DU. Thoughts for you, your son and your granddaughter at this difficult time.

I hope you can somehow find peace although I know you're in a lot of pain right now.

I don't have the right words, but know you have my deepest sympathy.

I am so sorry to hear this. My sister did that almost two years ago now, she was 68. Her husband committed suicide eight yeas prior and she'd had a hard road on all levels thereafter. She left us with a house going into foreclosure and a big legal mess.

I am sorry for you and your family. I am noticing that I count how many siblings I have left lately, 3 out of 5, and it gives me an odd feeling.

I do hope that you are able to endure all that comes next, my thoughts and meditations will include you and your family for a while.

a survivor's group; whatever you can do in the way of support. I know it's too recent and immediate right now, but your Democratic Underground family is here for you.

Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors http://www.allianceofhope.org/

Survivors of suicide http://www.survivorsofsuicide.com/

Aftermath of Suicide: Help for Families https://www.elementsbehavioralhealth.com/mental-health/aftermath-of-suicide-help-for-families/

I've seen strong people collapse under the strain of grieving and weak handle it with relative ease. It is a long road to go down and there is no time limit.

I'm sorry your sister took that turn in the road.

don't have more sources to help them through their issues. Peace to you.

... because I understand your anger - and I also understand your sister's pain.

In a few weeks, I will face the second anniversary of my beloved husband's passing. There have been times when I hoped I would fall asleep - and simply not wake up again.

I know I should feel an obligation to "be here" for my children, my siblings, my friends. And yet there is the overwhelming thought that the future I'd envisioned sharing with my husband is now a future of "me" instead of "we". The plans we'd made to retire together, maybe do some traveling, visit far-flung friends and relatives - it all disappeared overnight.

You have a right to be angry. Indulge in it - scream, cry, and curse the forces that led your sister to do what she did.

But remember that grief can be a force too powerful for some to fight, too overwhelming for some to overcome.

Your anger will pass. Your own grief will be with you for a long time to come.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

...after my third job loss in a year, the third being a job everybody was begging me to quit because it was driving me into dark places.

My first wife died in 1983 and I'm still grieving.

It is hard to explain to anyone who has not "been there" how devastating such a loss can be.

Back in my younger days - my 30s and 40s - I befriended many widows who lived in my neighbourhood. I often wondered why they couldn't "just move on" with their lives after losing a spouse. I had NO idea how painful that process was, and how difficult it would be to "just move on" as though your world had not been turned upside-down in an instant.

My late husband had been my third marriage - I rejoiced daily in the idea that I had FINALLY met my soul-mate, the man with whom I would live "happily ever after".

As Cher (as Loretta Castorini in Moonstruck) said of her dead husband: "Who knew that man was a gift I couldn't keep."

Alas, my late husband truly was a "gift I couldn't keep". I wish I'd been able to - but sadly for me, life had other plans.

Your family is small now, but I'm glad you're not all alone.

It is hard to deal with the fact that depression can be a fatal disease. Hugs to you.

Please be gentle with YourSelf now. . NO guilt.
I will do what I know to do, pray, & send You Love & Light. BLESS YOU, & Yours. 💖

I had just got done caring for my father when he died. I found him. The worst and hardest was my husband. Don't feel bad. My mom and I talked about it. I feel if people want to check out they should be able to.

(((((hug)))))

One can't carry another's burden or understand the weight they feel. We just can't. But we can empathize.

try talking to somebody or even getting anti-depression medication. She moved from Florida to an apartment across the street from me in December. Said she'd be better leaving the house she and her husband had had for 43 years. But she only got worse.

Part of it comes from thinking that they are trained to handle their issues.

Take a few deep breaths, then a few more. Feel however you feel. Don't become overwhelmed with all of the stuff that comes with a death- there is no real urgency to make arrangements, or clear out her home, or settle her estate. All of that can wait until you are ready.

Let people take care of you. You need taken care of, even if you don't think so. And other people need to feel like they are doing something to help. If they offer casseroles or pizzas, accept. If they ask you what you need, tell them.

If no one is there to help you, tell us. I have seen this community come together and do awesome things. We are here for you.

failed suicide attempt. I am both angry and sad.

That is so sad.

I am so angry with her as well, for not being able to cope with her loss, which was purely monetary.

I hope that you can accept her choice and move on with your life.

I hope for my sake that I can do so as well.

ones deal with the end of life traumas that I have witnessed. I have been with two relatives in their final months, days, and moments. Your sister loved you and wanted to spare you from dealing with her problems.

We all deserve the right go to our rest, in peace, on our own terms.

That is truly awful. Are your son and granddaughter close by? I hope that they can be with you through this terrible loss.

I'm wishing you lots of eye bleach to blot what you saw from your memory.

How awful. I hope that in time sweet memories of your beloved sister will be a comfort to you. Don't be afraid to ask for help in dealing with this painful loss. People are here for you.

You must be in a state of shock now.

In a few weeks you may want to look for a suicide support group. I have been thinking of joining a group near me because of a suicide in my family.

someday you will forgive her but anger is the natural reaction to suicide. I read a book "The Angry God" many years ago trying to cope with a suicide (not nearly as close as a sister) and it helped. Not sure its still in print but any good bookstore or library could steer you to something that might help.

Wishing you well.

Don't be angry. She did the best she could. Grief is a process. Be kind to yourself.

Many words of wisdom here in this thread.

My brother died when he was only 23, in a scuba diving adventure gone wrong, in 1978. I remember wondering if I was "doing it right," when it came to grieving, because I wasn't going thru the 5 stages delineated by Kubler-Ross.

There's no right way to grieve except whatever way turns out to be right for you, and there's no timetable. I echo those who encourage you to find support of some kind.

What you are going through is horrific, and I hope you will find help to ease your suffering. You have my deepest condolences.

You will be in my prayers.

May you all find peace and comfort.

And I wish you and your family strength and courage.

Just so, so sorry

I cannot imagine your feelings

My daughter attempted suicide last year and scared the living daylights out of me. If her friends hadn't called 911, she wouldn't be with me. She's fought depression for years. And I'm still worried for her.

And it's completely understandable that you're angry. They don't understand the magnitude of what they're doing, but you end up holding the bag. Hang in there - and like others have said, consider some counseling.

...I am so sorry you were the one who had to find her... that said, be angry, but realize, this wasn't about you. This was about her and how she felt she could not go on. And try to understand that she may have been dealing with depression and negative feelings that you really can't imagine at this time.

And now to you... please consider talking with someone, please consider seeing a Therapist, you are going to need to reach out to someone and talk with someone who can help you. And wonderful and supporting DU may be, you're probably going to need something more to help process this loss.

Bless your heart.

Condolences.

I am so very sorry.

Been there.

It helped me to remember the person as they were when they were happy and healthy.

Wishing you healing and just know you are not alone.

This group offers good help. Do not hesitate to come here for support.

What a terrible thing.

with the others.

Be very gentle and kind to yourself.

what you must be going through...blessings on you, your son, and your granddaughter...may you sister finally find peace

Blessings.

and as the oldest, it fell to me to pick up the mess for her and help her get her life back together. I'm so glad I did, because she has returned to the wonderful woman I always knew. I'm so sorry that you weren't able to reach your sister in time. I hope your heart can heal from this. Reach out to your friends and family please.

Talking to a therapist about it would be an option too.

There are really no words but know we care.

❤️

Second, I know their is the funeral/burial/cremation and the bureaucracy and family drama that comes with all of that. You should consider sharing your anger and grief with a counselor or minister. It's a large burden to carry.

Hugs for you and hopes that you find strength and peace in this time.

How sad........I can't imagine.....

she wanted it. don't let it eat you up.

it can eat people up for decades. fuck that.

Words fail.

Bless you, your son and granddaughter.

The whole situation is terrible. I can't imagine what you're going through.

Please know you are not alone. There are caring people out there who will help and comfort you through your grief. When you're ready, reach out.

during this time.

When people commit suicide who are not under horrible outside forces they are not in their right minds. I believe at the time of her death your sister suffered from a mental problem that caused he to not see things clearly.

I am so sorry.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

As someone who has also lost a loved one to suicide, I wish I could hug you right now.

It's a long journey to understanding, and acceptance of the loss.

I know you are in pain right now, but eventually the anger will subside.

Eventually, you won't see it as a selfish move on her part, but as an illness that she couldn't cope with.

She didn't mean to hurt you. She just simply wanted to stop feeling hurt.

It took me 30 years to understand that.

Much love to you. And again, I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish you peace and comfort.

Remember the love that you shared. Treasure the memories. And try to understand that her death was not meant to hurt you.