Bereavement
Related: About this forumI've grown accustomed to his face...
I lost my husband of nearly 40 years, four weeks ago today.
Yesterday I was watching My Fair Lady on some channel, and Rex Harrison was singing this song, although with the words Her Face. It was so touching, poignant, that I googled the musical. One of the anecdotes that they mentioned was that he told the producers that every time he sang that song it was to his wife who had passed several years before.
I thought about how true the sentiment was... many years after the first bloom of love and lust, we longtimers settle into a comfortable and close relationship with our spouses. Just the loss of seeing their most beloved faces and voices brings the deepest pain.
I suddenly felt the truth to this piece of music, and although it made me tear up, it was somehow comforting.
50 Shades Of Blue
(10,887 posts)WhiteTara
(30,158 posts)Freedomofspeech
(4,378 posts)Sounds like you had a beautiful relationship. Peace to you.
Mme. Defarge
(8,533 posts)a person has, or had, that evoke such tender rememberances. My sweetheart of forty years was definitely not a "foodie", certainly never had a weight problem - unless it wasn't eating enough. So, I would offer him food without being overbearing about it, saying something like, "Would you like one of these little cheeses?" Invariably, he'd reply with, "Oh, maybe." That meant "Yes."
"Oh, maybe." Gulp.
tavernier
(13,258 posts)whenever he heard me gathering together pans and ingredients at breakfast time, his favorite meal. I swear I hear it in my head as I putz around the kitchen in the morning. He wouldn't be the least bit interested in my yogurt and strawberries, however. I haven't cooked a "real" breakfast since he passed.
Mme. Defarge
(8,533 posts)babylonsister
(171,604 posts)condolences to you. That is a lifetime of memories; may they comfort you.
berni_mccoy
(23,018 posts)gademocrat7
(11,165 posts)So sorry for your loss.
auntAgonist
(17,257 posts)It's heartwarming to hear that music was comforting to you, that you found a piece that even although it made you tear up it did comfort you. How wonderful.
I'm truly sad for your loss and I hope that you have been surrounded by those who love and look after you.
Take care of yourself, these words touched me ... thank you.
"I thought about how true the sentiment was... many years after the first bloom of love and lust, we longtimers settle into a comfortable and close relationship with our spouses. Just the loss of seeing their most beloved faces and voices brings the deepest pain "
May your pain evolve to feeling like gentle hugs and caresses.
kesha.
tavernier
(13,258 posts)and hurricane is the best way I can describe these past few weeks. When the bands come, it is impossible to escape the emotional chaos. Then in between the bands, I can rest, even laugh with friends. But it is getting a bit easier, probably since I know the patterns now.
sinkingfeeling
(52,990 posts)yourself well.
irisblue
(34,253 posts):holding up a frying pan for breakfast eggs:
I feel him nudging me toward the bacon drawer and fry pan.
irisblue
(34,253 posts)Happy memory of there bfast then
::holds up skillet ::
volstork
(5,593 posts)jazzcat23
(176 posts)from tearing up myself...So sorry for your loss! I lost mine almost 3 yrs ago and it's still very difficult for me to hear music we loved, can't watch movies we loved yet. Time is the only thing that can heal our pain. Take good care...I'll keep you in my prayers.
we can do it
(12,774 posts)MLAA
(18,598 posts)niyad
(119,895 posts)tavernier
(13,258 posts)Some pretty awesome and thoughtful people hang around this joint. Guess I'll stay a while longer.
niyad
(119,895 posts)auntAgonist
(17,257 posts)loving people are the reasons I lobbied to have a place here on DU for all of us suffering a loss.
I'm always willing to chat privately with anyone who wants to.
Please know you're never alone here.
My best wishes to you.
kesha.