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My niece's husband was just killed in a (Original Post) murielm99 Feb 2020 OP
So sorry to read this. mahina Feb 2020 #1
That's terrible Hokie Feb 2020 #2
Sorry this happened. I hope the widow will have support (moral) while raising their three in2herbs Feb 2020 #3
That's very sad thinkingagain Feb 2020 #4
I am very sorry. LisaM Feb 2020 #5
I am so sorry. FM123 Feb 2020 #6
How awful! I do hope that she has friends and family who can make Nay Feb 2020 #7
So very sorry democrank Feb 2020 #8
Oh, how awful hermetic Feb 2020 #9
We have had plenty of young widows murielm99 Feb 2020 #10
that family will need stopdiggin Feb 2020 #17
I'm so sorry Danmel Feb 2020 #11
I am so sorry. StevieM Feb 2020 #12
Oh how terrible. You never know when they walk out that door. Hug them close. Fla Dem Feb 2020 #13
Prayers creeksneakers2 Feb 2020 #14
So sorry ✨💖 MLAA Feb 2020 #15
I'm so sorry to hear this... NurseJackie Feb 2020 #16
I am so very sorry! GreenPartyVoter Feb 2020 #18
So so sorry for your neice Butterflylady Feb 2020 #19
Condolences to you and your family. gademocrat7 Feb 2020 #20
I'm so very sorry. cate94 Feb 2020 #21
My condolences. I was friends to the son of the areas only snowmobile dealer back in the 70's yaesu Feb 2020 #22
So very sorry. skylucy Feb 2020 #23
Prayers tonight for your family Peacetrain Feb 2020 #24
SO sorry! slumcamper Feb 2020 #25
... 2naSalit Feb 2020 #26
Very sorry oldtime dfl_er Feb 2020 #27
So very sorry. Stuart G Feb 2020 #28
I'm so sorry for your family's loss. brer cat Feb 2020 #29
So very sorry! polmaven Feb 2020 #30
How tragic! Your poor niece! redwitch Feb 2020 #31
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and them. ehrnst Feb 2020 #32
Oh Lord ... I'm so sorry... CaptainTruth Feb 2020 #33
Terrible news. BadgerMom Feb 2020 #34
Awful TEB Feb 2020 #35
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. mfcorey1 Feb 2020 #36
Condolences to you, your niece, and her three children. pazzyanne Feb 2020 #37
My condolences you his family. vishnura Feb 2020 #38
I'm very sorry for your and your family's loss dlk Feb 2020 #39
Thoughts and prayers, by the truck load. Aussie105 Feb 2020 #40
You are right in your description. murielm99 Feb 2020 #42
Thank you. Aussie105 Feb 2020 #43
This is tragic, and unexplicable ... there are no words FakeNoose Feb 2020 #41
When my mother died Aussie105 Feb 2020 #44
I just spoke to my nephew murielm99 Feb 2020 #64
((((HUGS)))) Sea Turtle Feb 2020 #45
Sorry for your loss IronLionZion Feb 2020 #46
OMG! ChiTownDenny Feb 2020 #47
How very sad. Scarsdale Feb 2020 #48
OMG! I'm so sorry this happened! sdfernando Feb 2020 #49
Oh dear, how tragic. AllyCat Feb 2020 #50
I'm so sorry. Ilsa Feb 2020 #51
.. Demovictory9 Feb 2020 #52
I'm so sorry. treefarmers Feb 2020 #53
I am so sorry. onecaliberal Feb 2020 #54
That's so tragic. Such a young family too. CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #55
I am so very sorry Muriel sheshe2 Feb 2020 #56
So very sorry. My sincere condolences to your niece Alliepoo Feb 2020 #57
Something I learned from my mom, after my brother died... 3catwoman3 Feb 2020 #58
So very sorry mzmolly Feb 2020 #59
Im so sorry RT Atlanta Feb 2020 #60
Yes, your family has had a larger than average share of unexpected, young deaths. No Vested Interest Feb 2020 #61
Thank you, murielm99 Feb 2020 #62
Such terrible news Marthe48 Feb 2020 #63

in2herbs

(3,127 posts)
3. Sorry this happened. I hope the widow will have support (moral) while raising their three
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 03:04 PM
Feb 2020

children. HRC was right, it takes a village to raise a child(ren.)

FM123

(10,126 posts)
6. I am so sorry.
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 03:21 PM
Feb 2020

Yes, I will send positive and healing thoughts your way. My love and sympathy to your whole family.

Nay

(12,051 posts)
7. How awful! I do hope that she has friends and family who can make
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 03:44 PM
Feb 2020

her and her kids not worry about the immediate day-to-day stuff during this horrible time.

hermetic

(8,622 posts)
9. Oh, how awful
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 03:50 PM
Feb 2020

What a shock that must have been for all. So very sorry. Certainly sending loving thoughts your way and for the children.

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
10. We have had plenty of young widows
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:06 PM
Feb 2020

in my family. I was widowed at twenty-seven. My oldest daughter was widowed at thirty-five. That is her cousin's age. I hope we can help.

stopdiggin

(12,819 posts)
17. that family will need
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:20 PM
Feb 2020

some alone time to just be "nuclear" .. and some support time (because the load can seem crushing at first). Consider some "outings" for the children (sans mom) .. when they are ready. And vice versa for Mom. If you're in a position to fill some roll .. try to walk that line between "space" and "support."

And my heart to all of you.

Fla Dem

(25,684 posts)
13. Oh how terrible. You never know when they walk out that door. Hug them close.
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:12 PM
Feb 2020

I hope with the love and support of family and friends, your niece will be able to be strong for her children now and going forward. It will be so difficult.

And a hug goes out to you as well, as I am sure you have a heavy heart and feeling much grief for your niece.

Butterflylady

(3,983 posts)
19. So so sorry for your neice
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:24 PM
Feb 2020

I know what she is going through. Lost my husband in auto accident 44 years ago that left me with 5 children to raise. All you can do is to be there for her. It will be tough but she will get thru it for her children's sake and for herself. I'm sure she has a loving family.

yaesu

(8,229 posts)
22. My condolences. I was friends to the son of the areas only snowmobile dealer back in the 70's
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:30 PM
Feb 2020

we got to try out all the new models every winter. We did some crazy things with those Sky-doos & looking back I'm very surprised I wasn't seriously hurt or worse. Another person I knew & fished his trout pond for years died while crossing that very same pond with a snowmobile & broke through the ice.

slumcamper

(1,728 posts)
25. SO sorry!
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:41 PM
Feb 2020

Please know that we are with you all.

Is there a place, e.g., GoFundMe--or better, YouCaring (which takes no fee)--where we can contribute?

It really helped my daughter and my grandkids when we lost their dad in a sudden accident.

redwitch

(15,081 posts)
31. How tragic! Your poor niece!
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 04:54 PM
Feb 2020

And those poor kids! Prayers for strength for all. Please let us know if there is a fundraising effort to help them.

Aussie105

(6,254 posts)
40. Thoughts and prayers, by the truck load.
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 05:55 PM
Feb 2020

Yeah.

Male, 39, risk taking, adrenalin rush sport, no thought to personal responsibility or consequences if things go wrong.

It's all far too common.

Wake up guys, a simple 'No, too risky, not doing it!' style caution needed.

[Above not meant as a criticism. Just a heads up to all the young male heads of households out there. ]

Watched the televised service for all those who died in the Australian bush fires.
Row of lit candles, one for each death.
Among them were the 3 American crew of a water bomber.

The service brought tears to my eyes.

Watching the relatives lay flowers brought home how many lives these deaths affect.

Thoughts and prayers out to all those, especially to the relatives of those Americans who were here to help.

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
42. You are right in your description.
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 06:38 PM
Feb 2020

"Male, 39...." That was him, all right.

I am not judging. It is tragic either way. Thanks for your response. I am not the least bit offended.

FakeNoose

(35,664 posts)
41. This is tragic, and unexplicable ... there are no words
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 06:32 PM
Feb 2020


I'm sad for your niece, and especially for the three youngsters.
Family and friends must come through for them now.
I'm sorry for loss!


Aussie105

(6,254 posts)
44. When my mother died
Sun Feb 23, 2020, 07:01 PM
Feb 2020

unexpected grief overcame me and I sat in the darkness for a long time.

When my father died years later, the unexpected grief came back and once again I sat in darkness.

When my son died the grief came back, multiplied many times. I sat in that now familiar darkness once again.

If anyone tried to help me, I do not remember. But I am thankful to those that did.

BUT this is different. Three minor children, a niece who is burdened with grief, housework chores to be done, kids to be readied for school, meals to be prepared, bills to be paid. A shoulder to cry on, or just human company in the emptiness.

Please help her as much as you can.

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
64. I just spoke to my nephew
Wed Feb 26, 2020, 01:43 AM
Feb 2020

and my youngest daughter. We're having a celebration of life for him Saturday. He and his youngest son, who just turned nine, share the same birthday. Every time that child has a birthday, he will remember his daddy.

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
48. How very sad.
Mon Feb 24, 2020, 10:07 AM
Feb 2020

Going out to have fun, and never coming home again. Deepest sympathy to the entire family. What a tragic loss of a young husband and father.

sdfernando

(5,379 posts)
49. OMG! I'm so sorry this happened!
Mon Feb 24, 2020, 10:08 AM
Feb 2020

That family will need lots of support and love.

I’m not a religious person but I’m sending healing energy their way.

3catwoman3

(25,433 posts)
58. Something I learned from my mom, after my brother died...
Mon Feb 24, 2020, 12:59 PM
Feb 2020

...way too young at age 23, was that she wished people had not been hesitant to talk about him because that showed her that he was remembered. After a death, people are often reluctant to bring up the person who is gone out of fear of “making you sad.”

Her explanation was that she could not possibly be any sadder than she already was, and she preferred to talk about him rather than skirt the issue.

So, when friends and family ask your niece if there is anything they can do, if it feels right to her, she can say something along the line of, “Don’t be afraid to share your memories.”

Wishing all of you strength.

RT Atlanta

(2,584 posts)
60. Im so sorry
Mon Feb 24, 2020, 02:17 PM
Feb 2020

Sending a hug and positive energy to your niece, her children and all of their family for guidance and strength.

No Vested Interest

(5,196 posts)
61. Yes, your family has had a larger than average share of unexpected, young deaths.
Mon Feb 24, 2020, 04:17 PM
Feb 2020

I recall your shock and sadness when your son-in-law died unexpectedly, about 2 years ago, I would think.
Now to be visited with another family tragedy, as well as your own young widowhood, seems overwhelming.

Thank God and goodness you care and can share, both from your own experience and from simple empathy, your strength and coping skills.

Yes, I can spare some prayers and thoughts; added to list of those who in such need.

murielm99

(31,433 posts)
62. Thank you,
Mon Feb 24, 2020, 06:06 PM
Feb 2020

No Vested Interest, and everyone else. This thread is a great comfort. We are moving along, and we are all trying to help her and her children in our various ways.

DU is a great family, even during the divisive days of the primary.

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