Time passes, but still

My neighbor texted me yesterday and was sad because it was her wedding anniversary. Her husband passed away 2 years ago. I suggested she do something special for herself. I mentioned that on my 50th anniversary in June, I am going to have a steak. She and her young grandson ordered food from a local place that she and her husband liked and it seemed to make the day better for her. I was glad about that. We all make our way through loss different ways, different lengths of time.

I had decided to mark my 50th anniversary and try to make it a stepping stone away from grieving. I am thinking what I want to do. I'll keep the pictures out. So far, so good.

I went out to the mailbox today and on the way back to the house, noticed that there are buds on the peonies. When my husband and I were married, my Mom made a bouquet of peonies and roses for me to carry. When we moved from that house, my Mom took some of those peonies plants and transplanted them to our next house. When we moved to this house, she transplanted some plants again, so many years ago, I don't remember. I do know that the peonies in this yard haven't bloomed for me. But this year, the year of our 50th anniversary, there will be blooms on this generation of peonies. It made me happy to see the buds, happy to think about continuity. Mom didn't know I'd need to see those buds, and I didn't know I did either. It is one of the best presents I could have