Call up the son in law

Ask your library if there is a school which does free or discounted repairs.

You got through the first step and listed for us

I did talk to him; he's heartbroken; i offered to meetup to talk but he seems not to want to. He did call though to ask how Mom was doing and if we needed any help. There really isn't anything he can do, but it was good to know he cares. I think our daughter's making a huge mistake, putting career over marriage, but it's out of my hands. I sent her a long letter via email and she didn't answer; she's told us to just stay out of her business though she will be here in a couple of months for a visit. **sigh**

Car is at the dealership already and will be ready hopefully Tuesday. It's an annoyance and added expense but the least of the worries right now.

everything else is worse. I went through a similar set of circumstances last year. I was trying not to nap because I needed to sleep at night. But it ended up helping me to stop and drop if I felt drowsy at all during the day. Somehow this helped me start sleeping at night after a few good snatches of sleep during the day. I hated to take anything, but I did take melatonin (3gr) for a month or so which may be a placebo but falling asleep is sort of a ritual anyway. And pain killer for that shoulder is necessary if it keeps you awake- Seriously talk to a medical or psychiatric specialist about this. Take care.

Right now I alternate between Motrin, a glass of wine, and a medical cannabis gummy on the really bad nights to get at least a little sleep, plus pain rubs and extra pillows. It doesn't help that my husband snores and tosses and turns, so the minute I nod off that wakes me up.

I have a papasan chair in my office at home and sometimes just crash and fall asleep in it. The stress isn't helping but I don't really think a psychiatrist can make it go away. Doctors haven't been helpful and I have to change insurance in six weeks when I turn 65 and get a Medicare supplement, so holding off doing anything about the shoulder until then. Maybe i'll get one more steroid shot for now.

I just need to get through the next few weeks, and try to focus on anything other than the problems that are out of my control.

he coughs and snores in his sleep. I'd be dead if I had to spend nights getting woken repeatedly. The melatonin is helpful for me, too. I don't use it every night.

Sorry you have so much stress. I've gotten used to a lot the past few years as my husband became disabled and I've become his caretaker. I miss having our old life and being able to go out or travel. Then I look at the rest of the world and can see maybe I have a lot of good things to be happy about. I'm happy to come here to DU a few times a day 🙂

Take care

One thing I can offer that helps me get through the focus block, is to do one major task each day, and before you know it, you can focus on your mom, dog and yourself...the vacation which is needed.

I hope things get on track soon.

I'm focusing on trying to get funds raised for our nonprofit, with at least a little success, so that I can step back and take a little time off when I really must, and straightening out clutter in my office, just so I feel like something is under control.

It doesn't help that our nonprofit media outlet lost a writer to death in a car crash recently, and two others took full-time jobs elsewhere due to financial emergencies, so I'm doing about 4 people's work right now. I've got a couple of writers but none as reliable and experienced as the ones we lost.

Every time I think things can't get worse, they do.

please find an alternative vet...the ones in the city charge way too much...go to a clinic that treats for less and get a referral...our dog tore her ACL and it would have cost about 3k but with a different vet to do the x-ray and still another to do the surgery we saved over half of that. Just remember to worry about what you can control, much of your stress is beyond that! Good Luck Dear!

Originally every surgeon we called was backed up for months and couldn't even see her for an evaluation. We're told this is due to COVID staffing shortages.

So when one called with a cancellation I took the appointment, at least to get tests and a diagnosis. If they recommend surgery, we can then price shop and check availability and references. That's another stress.

Two of our prior dogs had orthopedic surgeries with the best vet in town -- but she was so booked she couldn't even see us on an emergency basis or for an evaluation for months. So that's another stress - worrying we could wind up with an inexperienced surgeon. But without something done the leg could atrophy; she's still hopping on 3 legs after 2 weeks so it's probably not a strain as we were first advised.

A friend just had a dog die in an emergency vet clinic due to a brand new vet left in charge due to everyone else out for COVID - total ineptitude killed their pet. It's the same clinic where we're going for the evaluation, though not the same vet. it's the only emergency vet clinic left within an hour of where we live and the only orthopedic surgeon with an opening for evaluation in the next two months.

So sad for all the animals not getting proper care. AS if everyone didn't have enough stress during the pandemic, now we can't even get proper care for our pets. When our last dog had a life-threatening emergency we had to travel more than an hour for help, as all 3 emergency clinics near us were either closed due to COVID or backed up 8 hours.

walks is really good especially if you focus on the nature around you or the buildings or whatever your surroundings. I really hope everything works out and you take your trip in April - you deserve it.

I'm sorry.

We recently lost one of our Great Pyrenees, so I'm with you on that. Our biggest boy has had both stifles operated on now, and tied back together. Our regular vet x-rayed him, and diagnosed the condition, then referred us to a vet surgical center in Louisville, where it would have cost $3,000. My horse vet recommended another vet to us, that did the surgery for $900. When the other joint went out a few years later, we went back to that vet to have the surgery again. Very successful both times. So, it may be worthwhile to ask around for other referrals if surgery is indicated. Have you taken him to your regular vet yet?

I also have a bad shoulder, that was broken years ago. I have had a lot of crepitation (crunchies) in it since. I take ibuprofen, but what seems to help the most is stretching it regularly. Its amazing how much something like that can tense your whole body up, and you don't even realize it.

Does your husband understand he is stressing you out more? Maybe he's impatient because he's also stressed out?

Glad you have friends to lean on. And you have a ton of them here on DU.

I've had crepitus in my other shoulder for many years from a car accident that caused permanent nerve damage. Now my other shoulder is the problem. I could deal with the first by just sleeping on the other side, but now have to prop up with a lot of pillows. Stretches do help a little and yeah, stress makes it worse.

Sometimes hubby does sleep in the spare bed in his home office but it's not comfortable due to cat issues -- one is old and has some bladder control problems so we had to put an extra litter box in there. We're coping as best we can but it's not easy -- cat also often wakes us both up at night.

He has some job stresses but needs to do better at least for now. I've told him i can't cope with any more hassles or complaints, and just can't do everything at the moment that I used to handle.

he needs to step up to the plate and help you! Make him read this post - yes INDEED.

i'm really sorry to hear about your mom--hopefully you'll be able to see her soon

i'd let that "impatient" husband know that you'd appreciate some help with things -- let him know he's stressing you out. and send him in the other bedroom to sleep a few nights a week.

i have back issues and can't take ibuprofen -- a couple weeks ago my daughter gave me a disposable vape from the pot store and while i'm not crazy about how it muddles my energy and creativity, it really helps with the pain.

glad you've got your pals to hang with sometimes. i wish i could do more walking but ice and snow hampers my ability to get out and just move.

wishing you all the best.

Try the chewable gummies. I take a low dose, mostly CBD, little bit of THC, a couple times a week and it does help me sleep a little more and definitely helps with the pain. Also take if I have to get through a difficult task when I don't feel well. I don't feel any muddle-headedness with that, if you have access to them.

Hope the ice and snow melts soon for you so you can get aside. Is there an indoor shopping mall where you can go walking, perhaps? Or exercise at home with a workout video?

my daughter buys these little chewable things --maybe i should try one of those. i'll ask her but i think it's probably too much of a high for what i'm looking for.

as far as walking--i used to "walk the track" but not since covid. and i haven't been inside a mall since before march 2020.

i can wait. it's a good temp today--lots of melting snow. (just not enuf. yet.)

I also use mineral ice and a roll on called Zim's Max Freeze