Bereavement

MissMillie

(38,962 posts) Thu Nov 24, 2022, 08:06 AM Nov 2022

The holidays always bring the grief back.

More than 2 years since I lost my mother. I think I've healed fairly well, but as the holidays arrive, I yearn to have her with me.

I think part of it is that when she was with us (and I mean REALLY with us--before her Alzheimer's Disease took over), it was more common for the family to get together for a big holiday gathering. Though considering that my siblings all have their own families now and our own traditions, her loss isn't necessarily why we're not doing the big gatherings anymore.

Today, I find myself wondering if my memories of her perfect holiday meal are all that accurate--and if they are...HOW THE HELL DID SHE DO THAT?????

I baked my pies yesterday. Only two. (I can remember her doing 5 or more. )

I always feel her with me when I bake/cook. For that, I am truly thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mom!

4 replies

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The holidays always bring the grief back. (Original Post) MissMillie Nov 2022 OP

Holidays are always tough. I mourn my parents all these years later. hlthe2b Nov 2022 #1

My condolences for your loss.. ProudMNDemocrat Nov 2022 #2

So beautifully put. Hope22 Nov 2022 #3

My mom's dad died on Thanksgiving day so it was really hard for her for many years. lark Nov 2022 #4

hlthe2b

(106,359 posts)

1. Holidays are always tough. I mourn my parents all these years later.

Reply to MissMillie (Original post)

Thu Nov 24, 2022, 08:09 AM

Nov 2022

For all who are missing dear ones, I share your loss and wish you a day with far more good memories than sad ones.

ProudMNDemocrat

(19,058 posts)

2. My condolences for your loss..

Reply to MissMillie (Original post)

Thu Nov 24, 2022, 08:14 AM

Nov 2022

31 years ago, 4 days after Freddie Mercury died, I lost my last remaining Grandparent.

40 minutes before the Macy's Parade was set to start where my then 16 year old Daughter was in NYC set to participate, my Maternal Grandpap Manuel Lopez died at the age of 85. He was so excited that his Great-Granddaughter was going to be in the parade. That was Thanksgiving Day that year and I had to get ready to go to work at the Hotel right across the street from the Big hospital in Rochester.

Losing my Grandpap that day, I had the TV on in every room I cleaned so that I could catch a glimpse of my daughter. That Saturday, I flew out to Pennsylvania to meet up with my Mother and attend the funeral.

The Holidays can be tough. May you find comfort in the memories you have.

Hope22

(2,873 posts)

3. So beautifully put.

Reply to MissMillie (Original post)

Thu Nov 24, 2022, 08:35 AM

Nov 2022

My heart goes out to you. Yesterday I used my grandmother’s recipe written in her own hand. Before I put it back in the box I gave it a kiss and sent her some extra love and a thank you for all that she shared. 💗💗🙏

lark

(24,162 posts)

4. My mom's dad died on Thanksgiving day so it was really hard for her for many years.

Reply to MissMillie (Original post)

Thu Nov 24, 2022, 09:27 AM

Nov 2022

For me, it's Christmas. Mom loved Christmas so much and I totally got that gene from her. She loved Christmas songs and dad and i loved singing them, it was special for us. The first traditional Christmas song I hear, I cry - has happened every year since she passed. I miss her so much, her gentle sweetness and kindness.

This year my sisters life partner is no longer with us. My sister is having such a difficult time, I'm not sure how I should handle the blessing. We always start by saying what we are grateful for and mostly it's that we (our generation) was still together, but that is no longer true. I know Brenda will cry if I mention Paul, but feel like I need to do that. Guess I will just have to talk to her and see how she wants me to handle this?

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