For Scott
Last edited Mon May 22, 2023, 09:18 PM - Edit history (3)
FOR SCOTT (1959-2022)
It’s 4:30 a.m.
I have been awake since 3,
trying to find a way
to write about you.
Do I surrender to my grief,
give in to the soul searing words of
Dickinson, Millay, and Blake,
or console myself with the inspired hymnodists:
“The Saddest Noise”
(I’ll Fly Away)
“Time Does Not Bring Relief, You All Have Lied”
(His Eye is on the Sparrow)
(It is Well With My Soul)
Crushing sorrow
gave Spafford strength
to exalt his God.
“I am weak, (but thou art strong)”
Even so, I find myself drowning
in a sea of loss.
Even so.
“Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.”
“Life must go on; I forget just why.”
“Just As I Am”
was your only plea.
I did not understand
and did not pardon thee.
“And throughout all Eternity
I forgive you, you forgive me.”
Forgive me, Scott.
Then I can sleep.
= new reply since forum marked as read
time can only make grief easier to bear but it still stays with you - my grandma called it "the price of love" 
...and bares naked my own fresh loss. Four precious souls in my immediate family gone from this Earth within the past 5 years. Still wrestling with the too familiar punch of grief that t-bones me regularly and without notice.
Your prose is a beautiful testament to your Scott. I'm so sorry for your loss.
p.s. I love Edna St.Vincent Millay too.