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barbtries

(29,947 posts)
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 08:46 AM Jul 2023

She isn't 43 years old today.

She's supposed to be. Happy Birthday Bekah Zask. Love you and miss you forever
Here she is with me 43 years ago today.

Here she is sleeping with her butt in the air. She had such delicate skin that we had her in cloth diapers. She was semi high maintenance right from the start.

Here she is just before she died. This was the picture we had on top of her closed casket.

Here's her headstone. I wish I could go visit her bones today, but she's a couple thousand miles away in CA, and i'm in NC. I hope her father will go see her.


She was one of those rarely gifted beings who cannot look, or speak or even stir without waking up (and satisfying) some vague longing that lies dormant in the hearts of most of us
104 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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She isn't 43 years old today. (Original Post) barbtries Jul 2023 OP
Hugggggggs. There are no words, but know that we are here for you. niyad Jul 2023 #1
thank you niyad. barbtries Jul 2023 #2
The general craziness has me even more short-tempered than normal, so niyad Jul 2023 #6
A beautiful tribute. I'm sorry for your pain. NNadir Jul 2023 #3
Thank you NNadir barbtries Jul 2023 #4
My heart goes out to you. badhair77 Jul 2023 #5
thank you badhair77 barbtries Jul 2023 #10
Time with your furry friend is usually a gift. 💕 badhair77 Jul 2023 #49
I am so so sorry for your great loss irisblue Jul 2023 #7
thank you irisblue! barbtries Jul 2023 #11
I have known personal grief TNNurse Jul 2023 #8
thank you TNNurse. barbtries Jul 2023 #12
Some losses we never get over. When they are young and have the whole world ahead of them, flying_wahini Jul 2023 #9
thank you flying wahini barbtries Jul 2023 #14
She was so pretty, very renaissance look to her. flying_wahini Jul 2023 #13
she would have loved that. barbtries Jul 2023 #16
I'm so sorry for your broken heart. 1WorldHope Jul 2023 #15
1WorldHope, barbtries Jul 2023 #17
It is my secret terror. It is wrong and should never happen. 1WorldHope Jul 2023 #19
Every time I see one of your posts, regardless of... 3catwoman3 Jul 2023 #18
thank you 3catwoman3 barbtries Jul 2023 #26
Such a beautiful and poignant tribute. calimary Jul 2023 #20
Thank you Calimary. barbtries Jul 2023 #28
So very sorry, barbtries gademocrat7 Jul 2023 #21
thank you gademocrat7! barbtries Jul 2023 #30
I am so, so sorry. mgardener Jul 2023 #22
... Sky Jewels Jul 2023 #24
oh mgardener barbtries Jul 2023 #31
Sending gentle, comforting vibes to hug you. MLAA Jul 2023 #23
Thank you MLAA barbtries Jul 2023 #51
What heartache to lose a child, so loved and beautiful in heart and spirit. Fla Dem Jul 2023 #25
Thank you Fla Dem barbtries Jul 2023 #52
Iam Very sorry for what you have had to go through. I send you hugs and all my love . Naio Jul 2023 #27
Thank you Naio barbtries Jul 2023 #53
So sorry for your loss Barb. I can't imagine. This is a lovely tribute. Thank you Evolve Dammit Jul 2023 #29
thank you Evolve Dammit! barbtries Jul 2023 #66
If only... Evolve Dammit Jul 2023 #68
yeah. barbtries Jul 2023 #74
Hear ya. They want us back to the dark ages feudal system. Take care and hope you're "ok." Evolve Dammit Jul 2023 #100
Aw, she was precious wendyb-NC Jul 2023 #32
thank you wendyb-NC barbtries Jul 2023 #54
Hi Barb wendyb-NC Jul 2023 #61
I am so sorry. What a beautiful young lady. Gone much too soon but still here as long as those LoisB Jul 2023 #33
thank you LoisB barbtries Jul 2023 #55
You look just like her. You get to see her every time you see your reflection. You're being ... marble falls Jul 2023 #34
thank you marble falls barbtries Jul 2023 #56
I searched for words that might soothe Jarqui Jul 2023 #35
Thank you Jarqui. barbtries Jul 2023 #58
38 years ago, I lost my best friend to alcohol Jarqui Jul 2023 #70
you're doing good work Jarqui barbtries Jul 2023 #75
I do individual cases Jarqui Jul 2023 #92
I am so sorry. pandr32 Jul 2023 #36
thank you pandr32! barbtries Jul 2023 #60
Your love for her radiates from the screen Wild blueberry Jul 2023 #37
Thank you Wild blueberry barbtries Jul 2023 #62
Rebekah-Marie was a beautiful young woman. riverbendviewgal Jul 2023 #38
riverbendviewgal barbtries Jul 2023 #72
There is no greater pain than losing a child. Grumpy Old Guy Jul 2023 #39
thank you Grump Old Guy barbtries Jul 2023 #76
We have a kid who doesn't talk to us. Grumpy Old Guy Jul 2023 #86
i'm sorry to hear that. barbtries Jul 2023 #87
That's sad. Grumpy Old Guy Jul 2023 #90
I am so sorry. stage left Jul 2023 #40
I never had a child to lose, but I have shared the loss of others, and.. TreasonousBastard Jul 2023 #41
Oh I am so sorry for your loss. Maraya1969 Jul 2023 #42
thank you Maraya1969 barbtries Jul 2023 #77
Heartbreaking--I know the pain crimycarny Jul 2023 #43
crimycarny, barbtries Jul 2023 #78
Beautiful woman.. forever young.. mountain grammy Jul 2023 #44
🕯️ Duppers Jul 2023 #45
I'm... JoeOtterbein Jul 2023 #46
What a beautiful memorial of your dear daughter, barbtries. 🕯️ thatcrowwoman Jul 2023 #47
I misspelled Bekah's name and had no success editing it. I'm so sorry. thatcrowwoman Jul 2023 #73
thatcrowwoman, barbtries Jul 2023 #80
What a beautiful young woman (both of you). Lonestarblue Jul 2023 #48
Bekah looks absolutely... luminous (lovely from the inside out). deurbano Jul 2023 #50
Thank you deurbano barbtries Jul 2023 #82
Thank you, and yes, UC Irvine. deurbano Jul 2023 #84
i am too, barbtries Jul 2023 #85
Hugs and love. My heart is with you. Goddessartist Jul 2023 #57
thank you Goddessartist barbtries Jul 2023 #81
she was lovely Skittles Jul 2023 #59
I am so sorry UpInArms Jul 2023 #63
Hugs to you Duncanpup Jul 2023 #64
A lovely tribute redqueen Jul 2023 #65
I looked to what happened... Lithos Jul 2023 #67
yes, she was killed. barbtries Jul 2023 #79
Beautiful daughter & Beartiful Cha Jul 2023 #69
thank you Cha! barbtries Jul 2023 #83
I'm so sorry Bettie Jul 2023 #71
(((🧡))) Deuxcents Jul 2023 #88
I am sorry for your loss mercuryblues Jul 2023 #89
Thanks for sharing these photos FakeNoose Jul 2023 #91
Thank you FakeNoose barbtries Jul 2023 #93
I'm so sorry, barbtries. cilla4progress Jul 2023 #94
thank you cilla4progress! barbtries Jul 2023 #95
Barb, my deepest condolences COL Mustard Jul 2023 #96
thank you COL Mustard barbtries Jul 2023 #98
Such a beautiful tribute. Hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss and the grief that never ends. LiberalLoner Jul 2023 #97
I'm so sorry. yardwork Jul 2023 #99
thank you yardwork. barbtries Jul 2023 #101
I'm glad to hear that. You deserve a place that brings some peace. yardwork Jul 2023 #102
Beautiful daughter. Beautiful tribute. So sorry for your loss. Dark n Stormy Knight Sep 2023 #103
Thank you so much. barbtries Sep 2023 #104

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
2. thank you niyad.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 08:59 AM
Jul 2023

I can't stop speculating about where she'd be now. Probably have teenagers already.

July is not my best month. It's always a little bit crazy, and these days complicated by the actual, general craziness of the time. the degradation of my country. y'know?

niyad

(120,630 posts)
6. The general craziness has me even more short-tempered than normal, so
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:32 AM
Jul 2023

I do, at lest partly, understand.

badhair77

(4,659 posts)
5. My heart goes out to you.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:27 AM
Jul 2023

I can’t imagine the loss but your words introduced me to this lovely soul. Please do something today to pamper yourself. Maybe some flowers or a donation; helping others always makes me feel better. I wish you peace.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
10. thank you badhair77
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:41 AM
Jul 2023

i'm short on money at the moment but i did walk the dog this morning.

TNNurse

(7,160 posts)
8. I have known personal grief
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:37 AM
Jul 2023

and witnessed grief as a hospital nurse for many years.

The loss of a child (no matter their age) is the toughest thing I have ever seen.

flying_wahini

(8,043 posts)
9. Some losses we never get over. When they are young and have the whole world ahead of them,
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:40 AM
Jul 2023

that is one of them. My heartfelt sympathy for you.
Life can be so cruel sometimes.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
14. thank you flying wahini
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:44 AM
Jul 2023

sure can.
I'm well beyond the worst of it. This month will never be the same though. never

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
17. 1WorldHope,
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:47 AM
Jul 2023

i wasn't sure I could, but there it was. I kept breathing. I hope you will never be faced with this tragedy.

1WorldHope

(924 posts)
19. It is my secret terror. It is wrong and should never happen.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:50 AM
Jul 2023

Sending you the white light of Love.

3catwoman3

(25,659 posts)
18. Every time I see one of your posts, regardless of...
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:47 AM
Jul 2023

..the topic, I think of you and your daughter. Such a loss changes you forever.

My family endured the same kind of loss when my brother, 3 years younger and my only sibling, died in a winter scuba diving adventure gone wrong. He was 23. He would be 69 now.

It’s been a long time since his death is the first thing on my mind everyday, for which I am grateful, but the awareness of his absence is always there, particularly when anyone says something about getting together with their brother or sister.

If I remember correctly, you have a son. Please let him know that someone is thinking of him, too, today.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
26. thank you 3catwoman3
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:05 AM
Jul 2023

so sorry for your brother's tragic loss!

I have 3 sons. I will let them know of your kindness.

calimary

(84,590 posts)
20. Such a beautiful and poignant tribute.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:50 AM
Jul 2023

Brings tears.

Thank you for sharing this, barbtries. That means we can help lift your load a little. You do not mourn alone.

gademocrat7

(11,210 posts)
21. So very sorry, barbtries
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 09:53 AM
Jul 2023

Sending you gentle hugs. Your daughter was a beautiful young woman.

Fla Dem

(25,866 posts)
25. What heartache to lose a child, so loved and beautiful in heart and spirit.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:02 AM
Jul 2023

I am so sorry for your loss so many years ago, but still as fresh as yesterday in your heart.
I'm hope memories also bring a smile to your heart as well. Peace to you.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
52. Thank you Fla Dem
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 01:02 PM
Jul 2023

She was beautiful inside and out. Her memory is a blessing and she remains a presence in my life. Love does not die.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
74. yeah.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 04:17 PM
Jul 2023

i remind myself that evolution happens over millenia, not the space of one lifetime, but devolution? seems like that happens real fast. i blame republicans.

Evolve Dammit

(19,046 posts)
100. Hear ya. They want us back to the dark ages feudal system. Take care and hope you're "ok."
Fri Jul 7, 2023, 01:36 PM
Jul 2023

LoisB

(8,974 posts)
33. I am so sorry. What a beautiful young lady. Gone much too soon but still here as long as those
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:31 AM
Jul 2023

who love her are still here.

marble falls

(62,503 posts)
34. You look just like her. You get to see her every time you see your reflection. You're being ...
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:32 AM
Jul 2023

... being watcher over.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
56. thank you marble falls
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 01:07 PM
Jul 2023

though i can't agree with you: Bekah was prettier than I ever was. But I did make her

Jarqui

(10,506 posts)
35. I searched for words that might soothe
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:43 AM
Jul 2023

We call our daughter 'Becca' so this hit a little closer.
Had to make an effort.

I looked up what happened hoping that might help me find the words
It didn't. Brutal, outrageous, senseless loss.

I am so so sorry.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
58. Thank you Jarqui.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 01:14 PM
Jul 2023

yep. It's been a long time, longer than i could even ponder at the time. I've worked very hard to effect some kind of recovery, to live well and happily and I've been successful in the intervening years. But some things don't change, and one of those things is how Bekah died. It was and is wrong.

Sadly it's all too common - daily if not more so. 100% unnecessary.

I googled for the stat:

Every day, about 37 people in the United States die in drunk-driving crashes — that's one person every 39 minutes. In 2021, 13,384 people died in alcohol-impaired driving traffic deaths — a 14% increase from 2020. These deaths were all preventable.

Jarqui

(10,506 posts)
70. 38 years ago, I lost my best friend to alcohol
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 03:15 PM
Jul 2023

He inhaled his vomit. His parents lied to me about it which really bothered me.
We'd been working on him for 16 years to get drugs and alcohol out of his life.
No stone was left unturned in that effort though at the time, we did not know nearly as much as we do now.
Unlike your daughter, he had a hand in his own demise.

But like you, every Sept 15th is another birthday I cannot forget that he is not around to celebrate.
I have not been able to visit his grave after the first visit. Way too painful.
I drive past the cemetery frequently. But I just can't go there.

What I have done since is tried to help others avoid that similar fate. 38 years later, I'm still doing it.
I try to tell myself "if I could just save this one, maybe it won't hurt so much ... maybe some good can come from this"
If I don't get results, I fight harder to get them. I will not give up.

Like your statistics on drunk driving, these kinds of deaths are preventable too.
We've got to get better at preventing them.
So I fight on.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
75. you're doing good work Jarqui
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 04:24 PM
Jul 2023

a lot of times with this type of activism you never see the change you made. it's like you planted a seed then you never get to find out if it grew. When I used to do VIPs for MADD it was always on the understanding that if one life was saved it was well worth it.

I am so sorry about your friend. I had a friend many, many years ago, who drank herself to death at the age of 25. My own mother's life was cut short. Alcohol is so frickin' popular but it has caused more mayhem, tragedy, and loss in my life than any other thing.

I'm the opposite of you when it comes to visiting her grave: right after she died, I was there several times a week. Now I can only go when i'm in CA, but I actively miss it when I can't, especially on her days.

Jarqui

(10,506 posts)
92. I do individual cases
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 06:41 PM
Jul 2023

One current person, it will be 10 years of almost daily effort next month since I started working with them. I feel like I'm losing that one. But I know I'm doing everything possible. They have a fantastic brother and sister. We're still hoping while realizing it probably won't end well.

Another is an emotional victim of a person deceased from drug abuse. She's the nicest person I ever met in my life. Her "case" has been going on 8 years. If I lose this one, it will be bad. She's doing ok. I took it so far, I kind of crossed the line. She was killing herself. Desperate measures.

Another one has been going on four years. I'm definitely going to lose that one. Her liver is dying. Just trying to get her the nicest exit we can. Her husband was a bastard. He spent time in prison for beating the crap out of her. I had him removed from her home. He's dead now. He kept her in the basement. Wouldn't let her come upstairs to eat. She survived on beer which cause her alcohol dependency. Brutal abuse. She's not dead yet but he basically killed her. After all that abuse, she still has a heart of gold.

Another has been going on 2 years. I have some hope there. Got his wife in the hospital yesterday so he can recharge.

There are a few others that are less intensive. It's hard because most of them don't end well and they each take a piece of you.

pandr32

(12,270 posts)
36. I am so sorry.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:45 AM
Jul 2023

It isn't supposed to happen that way. To lose a child is the greatest fear of a parent. You lost her and she lost her whole future. Grandchildren you never had, all the special occasions without the joys shared, the possibilities unrealized all live in your heart/mind. My heart hurts for you just thinking about it.
I really am so sorry.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
60. thank you pandr32!
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 01:18 PM
Jul 2023

yes, the loss is incalculable. I think she would have had children, in fact she already had names for them. Maybe later...we all are together.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
62. Thank you Wild blueberry
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 01:20 PM
Jul 2023


Love is all that can save us, that's my belief. I celebrate that I have it and that I had her.

riverbendviewgal

(4,325 posts)
38. Rebekah-Marie was a beautiful young woman.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 10:48 AM
Jul 2023

I am so sorry for your loss . I lost my younger son in 1999 at 26 years old. I know your pain. Hugs to you. She is always In your heart.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
76. thank you Grump Old Guy
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 04:27 PM
Jul 2023

I can't think of anything worse except having a child go missing and never learning their fate. I think that would be worse.

Grumpy Old Guy

(3,591 posts)
86. We have a kid who doesn't talk to us.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 05:13 PM
Jul 2023

They blocked us two years ago, no phone calls, no texts, nothing. At least we know that they're doing okay. They may come around someday, or they may not. At least we know that they're doing all right on their own

It seems a waste of precious time since we're not getting any younger, but we can't control their behavior.


barbtries

(29,947 posts)
87. i'm sorry to hear that.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 05:24 PM
Jul 2023

I am estranged from my oldest brother, but he's not blocked or anything, we just don't talk. it's because he's a foxbot right winger and I can't take his incessant racism. he's toxic to me basically. If I push the issue my fear is we'll go completely blank as you and your child have. I don't want that either. Still love him, just can't stand him.

TreasonousBastard

(43,049 posts)
41. I never had a child to lose, but I have shared the loss of others, and..
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 11:04 AM
Jul 2023

as much as we love to make political points, the loss of a child is one of the worst things that can happen.

May your future go well.

crimycarny

(1,648 posts)
43. Heartbreaking--I know the pain
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 11:09 AM
Jul 2023

I lost my son to suicide in January of 2022, he was 25. His birthday is 7/8 so in 2 days he would have been 27.

Seeing you smiling so happy while pregnant with your daughter--the absolute joy! And then the pictures of your daughter innocently sleeping as a toddler, then again to see what a beautiful woman she grew to be. It brings back my own memories.

My heart breaks for you as I know so deeply the pain of losing a child. The worst pain anyone can endure.

(I love the name Bekah, such a beautiful name for a beautiful human being).

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
78. crimycarny,
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 04:33 PM
Jul 2023

my heart breaks for you, it's been so soon. What is your plan for Saturday? How are you?

Anytime you need to talk feel free to DM me.

thatcrowwoman

(1,230 posts)
47. What a beautiful memorial of your dear daughter, barbtries. 🕯️
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 11:27 AM
Jul 2023

Thank you for sharing your grief and your Becka with us. That’s very generous and very brave of you. My heart breaks with yours. I’ll add Becka’s name to my Kaddish prayers tomorrow night.

Holding you and your sons in the light, barbtries, and sending you all much love and sweet Shalom.
You are not alone.
🕊thatcrowwoman

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
80. thatcrowwoman,
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 04:43 PM
Jul 2023

thank you so much. You may have noticed the chai on the turtle on her headstone. I no longer practice any religion, but Bekah was Jewish and we did have a Jewish funeral. That you plan to remember her during Kaddish warms my heart.

In my mind she's doing very well on the other side, learning, growing, being. In my mind when I go over she will be the person meeting me first. Then all the other loved ones coming to hug me.

Lonestarblue

(11,980 posts)
48. What a beautiful young woman (both of you).
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 11:35 AM
Jul 2023

I’m so sorry for your loss so many years ago. It’s hard not to wonder what she would have accomplished or become b now. I wish you comfort in your memories.

deurbano

(2,960 posts)
50. Bekah looks absolutely... luminous (lovely from the inside out).
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 12:50 PM
Jul 2023

I'm so sorry for your loss, which is the worst we can imagine as mothers, after trying so hard to keep them safe. This strikes close to home as my own younger daughter (who just graduated from UCI, not far from Bekah) is turning twenty-one on July 23rd. Your story is a poignant reminder to never take for granted what is most precious in our lives.

May your wonderful memories of such a beautiful spirit provide comfort during this difficult day.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
85. i am too,
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 05:04 PM
Jul 2023

it's just that i've been in NC for over 15 years already. But the first 52 years of my life I lived in So CA, south bay area primarily. i still call it home and always will.

Lithos

(26,466 posts)
67. I looked to what happened...
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 01:47 PM
Jul 2023

No warning - just like lightning out of the blue sky. No last good byes.

Sorry to hear - this could happen to any of us. Such a beautiful person. Way too soon.

Many hugs.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
79. yes, she was killed.
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 04:37 PM
Jul 2023

no chance for good-bye and because of the violence of her death, we never saw Bekah again. A random occurrence that happens far too often.

FakeNoose

(35,990 posts)
91. Thanks for sharing these photos
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 06:39 PM
Jul 2023

Birthdays and holidays are always the hardest, when you're missing a dear loved one. I'm sorry for your loss, as I know we all are. May you find solace in your memories of happier times with your darling Bekah.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
93. Thank you FakeNoose
Thu Jul 6, 2023, 06:46 PM
Jul 2023


we were blessed because Bekah was a ham and there are many pictures.

COL Mustard

(6,974 posts)
96. Barb, my deepest condolences
Fri Jul 7, 2023, 04:18 AM
Jul 2023

She was killed on my 43rd birthday. I’ve read your accounts about her, and just know that I do think of you on that day.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
98. thank you COL Mustard
Fri Jul 7, 2023, 08:02 AM
Jul 2023

For years I would stroll through cemeteries and look for her dates - after awhile i looked for all of our dates. I have this thing about the lack of reason and the profuse rhyme in matters of life and death. So your birthday is a rhyme (happy birthday in advance)

So maybe 20 years ago now, I was at a support group for homicide survivors and a newly bereaved mother, Roma, came in and started to talk about her son Paul Jr.

- Her son was killed on July 6
- His birthday was July 19
- He was shot by a young man who was born on the same day of the same year in the same town (Long Beach CA) as Paul Jr

I could not even close my mouth as these dates were spilling from her lips. We stayed close for years afterward and would never forget each other on the dates of July 6 and July 19. To this day I cannot forget her or her son though we have lost touch in the past 5 to 10 years.

Rhymes.

LiberalLoner

(10,221 posts)
97. Such a beautiful tribute. Hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss and the grief that never ends.
Fri Jul 7, 2023, 07:05 AM
Jul 2023

yardwork

(64,720 posts)
99. I'm so sorry.
Fri Jul 7, 2023, 08:14 AM
Jul 2023

There aren't any words that would make a difference. Your daughter was beautiful.

barbtries

(29,947 posts)
101. thank you yardwork.
Fri Jul 7, 2023, 04:26 PM
Jul 2023

actually the words do make a difference, they do bring comfort. that probably plays heavily into my decision to share Bekah's life and death stories here. DU is so great - IRL people sometimes stumble and say hurtful things, but that's never happened to me on DU.

Dark n Stormy Knight

(10,046 posts)
103. Beautiful daughter. Beautiful tribute. So sorry for your loss.
Sat Sep 2, 2023, 05:34 AM
Sep 2023

Words cannot express how I wish you could have been spared this heartbreak. Sending virtual hugs & healing energy your way.

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