Bereavement
Related: About this forumLaughing this morning thinking of Liz not sad just smiling. I found portrait pictures of daughters.
Was gonna do some fishing today yet thunderstorms and lightning. Yep portraits studios absolutely a torture session group pics and or girls individually. It was just a house full of pain for any kid Im thinking looking these pics I have to get copies made give them to the girls.
And these pics just of our daughters one of them I found in this plastic tote was maybe then they were it was 1994 our oldest middle and youngest daughter maybe ages 7 -4 -2 in age. 18 our son never had the experience of the get in your Sunday best were off to the studio to have pictures taken.
And in looking at these pictures it was stressful not only for the girls me too. Liz would ask me what package of photos do you think we should buy looking at the catalog because a lot times I wasnt involved I was on road running terminal to terminal union linehaul sleeping it off in hotels.
Yea seriously shes asking my opinion excuse me Im thinking is the trick question seriously Id pick one maybe the most expensive one that she may have bought before WRONG choice yea you know hun we will not need that many wallet size photos. Oh well of course what was I thinking dear yet when I was around for pictures day the memories of Elizabeth saying do not mess with your pigtails young lady or you put down that blueberry pop tart right now you do not need to stain your dress.
Or dad can we get a cheeseburger on the way for pictures day. Id look at my wife and she would say will get takeout after the pictures once were home after you girls get out of your clothes. But I may be driving thinking I personally could use a cheeseburger before we hit the picture studio Im not opening up that can of worms.
Like they say choose your battles in marriage or raising kids me personally my arguments always ended up like the sixth army at Stalingrad with Elizabeth or like Gaius trying to take on Hannibal at lake Trasimene. Yea right girls will get takeout from the diner after the pictures cuz you need to change out of your clothes.
The best pics time was the family portraits standing there the photographer saying Dad can you smile can you just scoot to your right just a bit ok is that ok I ask ,no Dad just a little more to the right.
Im like thinking ok Joseph Nicephone take the pic what do you do in your daytime job H&R Block just take the pic were gonna buy it anyway then thats perfect the photographer says dont move CLICK.
Seriously once our youngest daughter was a baby as Liz was choosing what packet of pics to buy Im like hey I gotta hit the mini van holding our youngest reason kiddo then a baby just loaded a diaper full of shit.
Today looking at these photos I think god they were so young now our oldest is Nurse anesthetist middle child is attorney like her mom yet she has so many tattoos shes one tattoo short of a eye patch when shes in court she has to wear long sleeves business suits and our youngest is Elementary school teacher.
The oldest and youngest daughter today just like their mother theyre married with little ones even 18 our boy is like his mom in personality and mannerisms . Liz used to comment on our middle child shed say to me she is so much like you free spirit doesnt give a dam about what others think of her even in her build shes tall and thin like me.
I was laying in bed the other night thinking of our middle childs first day of kindergarten she got off the bus and her mom asked how was your first day. She replied my teachers old she smells like grandma and my dear wife glass always half full ok but did you like it. Im thinking really kids got no choice its the law shes gonna have to deal with this regardless for next twelve years and beyond with college.
femmedem
(8,444 posts)Through good and bad, it's been one of the best things about DU for many years.
LatteLady
(32 posts)So glad you can smile and laugh as you stroll down memory lane! What a gift you two had in each other, its rare. Your ability to capture those little moments and the meaning woven through them is a delight for all of us, thanks for sharing!
3Hotdogs
(13,398 posts)I'm both glad and sorry you are hurting.
Joyce died 10 years ago in June. I still miss her. I hurt every tine I come across an old iPhone photo in the memory.
My Mon died 6 years ago. She was a damn good mother and she "gave a shit" and I know it. But the last 10 years of her life were hard for me. Dementia -- that went on for ten years. The average is 2 years. In effect, I said 'good bye" to her, about a year into her decline. I knew she was "gone" and would never be back.
Yes, I stayed with her when she was in "memory care.' I visited her once or twice a week at a two hour's round trip. And I managed her rental house which was its own major chore.
When She died, I was sad. I still miss her and wonder if I did all I could for her. But I don't have the same response to seeing her photos as I do of Joyce's.
And I'm wondering if I should post this. Is it helpful or not? But you know, it is sent with the best of intentions.
3H
3Hotdogs
(13,398 posts)It helps you and it helps us.
MLAA
(18,602 posts)What wonderful memories and a house full of love and fun all these years. Im so glad you were able to navigate all the dangers and possible missteps during all those years of portrait sittings and selecting packages. Dont you think the boys deserve the same experience just once? Haha. Sears use to have a portrait studio in my childhood years of torture. Would love to see one of your family portraits!
No Vested Interest
(5,196 posts)done in time for interested family with Christmas cards and notes.
Glad I have them now.
MLAA
(18,602 posts)stage left
(3,016 posts)you have a way with words. One tattoo short of an eye patch made me smile. What a great description.
barbtries
(29,792 posts)we went to Sears. by the time my youngest came along I was single and poor as dirt and that picture is so cherished because it's one of very very few that i have with all 4 of my babies. I remember when we left coming back to the car I told them all I will cherish this forever, and I do. they were 16, 12, 8 and practically brand new.
You and Liz built a lovely and successful family. Hat's off! I know she should still be there but her love is and always will be. it's great how you can summon up your very thoughts of the moment and make a reader be there too.
sdfernando
(5,381 posts)There is so much love in there!
Ziggysmom
(3,574 posts)but I bet a LOT of DU would agree, I love reading your posts!
Take Care!