Sometimes it’s those church ladies that really let it all hang out. lol. Totally understand you are not ready yet. I would expect your Liz would want you to find someone to be happy with. But in your own time. Take care of yourself.

Biggest PITAs.

And thats wrong to give out your # without your permission. I hope she understands never to do that again.

She should have respected where you are personally in the first place, and the persistent church lady shouldn't have needed threats of nakedness to get the hint, but...

This definitely calls for an update!

Will do the trick. It sucks to have people push when you aren't shopping.

I have found that, at a certain point, getting rude is a necessity. You could block her number too.



Anyway, do what feels best for you and one year can be far too early. You need longer than that to heal enough to look up from the trail, if you ever feel the need to.

Nothing in it for you to actively invite a conservative church lady into the pack! The thought is exhausting! You tried to be nice. Ultimately the freak must fly before they get the message. My guess is your sister in law won’t be passing out your number in the future!
My conservative sister was welcomed at the Thanksgiving table last year. Small gathering. My son, his new wife and four others. At the table She turned to my son’s single male friend and asked what his story was. Was he gay or were they a thruple? This year I had to pass on inviting her. There is no end to the rudeness. Take care and thanks for the laugh!

What a visual! A naked church lady getting glue licked off of her elbows! I'll bet she thinks about it!

Oh you're BAD! That's too funny. Hope she finally got the message!

on a WATERBED mattress. It disintegrated the waterbed. But he said it was worth it! We all roared with laughter.

Honestly, meeting up with someone new/relatively unknown (not the pushy chemistry woman) to have adult conversation on a variety of topics might be a positive thing.

He’s hooking up with a long-ago girlfriend from before he met his wife. She’s married. Ugh.

But before I did it, I'd let her know that you're blocking her.

I would also be tempted to text her if she tries to contact you again, you’d consider her a stalker, which is against the law. But that's my inclination as a woman who's been stalked and had to get a couple of restraining orders.

Being bizarre in your response may have worked for the moment. I suspect that you may be referred to her prayer circle by now.

Don't be surprised if she tries again to check and see how her prayer circle strategy is working.

She's clearly not a sensible or compassionate person. That's proof of no chemistry in itself.

I'm so sorry that you lost your sweetheart. I also understand that anyone else would be a downgrade.

Stay encouraged, Duncanpup. We love you.



Ps: I would have to let SIL know that you don't want you phone number shared again without permission. If you needed her help you would have asked.

I would also have to have SIL tell her friend, that she was wrong to share your number without your permission. I'd also be tempted to have
SIL reiterate to her friend that you're not interested in dating her and she shouldn't contact you again.

I know nothing that I suggest may be your style. But I'm suggesting from my perspective as someone who doesn't like to see another person who's grieving be misunderstood in their grief. It's hard enough as it is. You don't need others making it even more difficult. I guess it's just my INFJ tendency to be protective kicking in. ❤️

I don't understand this obsession some people have with trying to set people up with a mate. A person can be alone without being lonely.

You handled that quite well, being she wasn't willing to take "no" for an answer.

Well said indeed.

I spat coffee through my nose on the elmers reply...savage!

Both by your SIL and her church friend.
On DU, we have been deeply touched by your willingness to share your pain with us.

I understand your position. But being that incredibly rude is neither funny nor appropriate. Our society seems to be thriving on hurting and fucking with others, and we should not be contributing to that. A simple no, thank you and then moving on is all that is required.

He started out very polite and told her repeatedly that he was not interested. Some people have difficulty with the word no. In those cases, a different tactic is required.

There was no point in a second response, much less the additional snark and rudeness. You say no, they persist, you block. Very simple.

I was alone for nearly 10 years, in my forties. I was frequently the subject of matchmaking friends and family. It gets annoying! Even when you are honest with people that you are not interested, they keep pushing. I hope she gets the picture after your funny reply.

Maybe you won't have to live out your whole life without a woman in it duncanpup, but it is premature to think it would happen this soon.

I probably would have said I'm a liberal atheist who out liberals my own children and if you voted for trump or look at fox that's a hard no.

Maybe that will teach her to take hints. I would have a talk with sister-in-law about giving out your number without your permission.

all done that, right? .. right?

I love it! I lost my Michael over 13 years ago, and really have no interest in "coupling up" again. Some people can't get their minds around the fact that there's a difference between "alone" and "lonely".

eom

dating or seeking another partner. You might at some point, but don't let anyone push you into anything. After reading your OP, you don't seem like the type who would be vulnerable to that.

I laid down for a nap and dreamed my husband was with me and my mom was in the kitchen. It was a nice dream. Back to reality when I woke up. I needed a lift from someone who understands.

It does have to be the most creative 'No' I've ever read and I bet no one from the church ever asks you out, ever. Well done! lol

no matter how much time goes by

...USA,USA,USA!
Take one for Uncle Sam!

When you have loved and been loved as you and Liz have been that might just be enough for one lifetime. I can’t imagine life with anyone other than Michael when he is gone.

out arranging for funds and delivery of a truckload of Elmer's.

that paste tasted terrible, if I recall.

Maybe if you went with hot fudge or marionberry jam.

she'll be calling again and take you up on it as long as you keep it on the downlow, those christian women are kinky behind closed doors.

No wonder some one like that is alone and doesn‘t want to be (and probably always will be). It sounds like the only chemistry possible with one such as her would be on the order of oil and water.

Good for you on both your initial patience, as well as your response once that patience was exhausted.

I fully sympathize with your current sentiments. I met my wife 49 years ago, and I‘d be a wreck without her. I‘m not solitary by nature, but my hat goes off to any woman who would be willing to even try to take her place if I were to lose her.

I truly wish you the best.

Good move on the Elmer's paste, by the way. I'm thinking they won't be trying to make any more matches.

If you take to it, there is a certain peacefulness from traveling life in the alone lane. I've done it for 30 years now, mostly because I couldn't find a compatible partner, but maybe because that was always my comfort zone. Take care.