Last edited Fri Feb 21, 2014, 08:47 AM - Edit history (1)

that it did.

I remember the day my Mother died. My Dad had called and I was driving to their home. On the freeway I passed so many cars, people laughing, enjoying their ride. Smiling as they drove by me. Kids playing games in the cars. I passed the park. Families doing family stuff that I couldn't ever do again with my Mum.

How dare they ..... but, life goes on doesn't it?



aA
kesha

and i remember i was also driving. everything seemed so surreal--the day was still happening, the beautiful clouds (which he often noticed and mentioned) were in the sky, the cars and traffic out on the road, the stop lights still worked, the world was turning just like everything was so normal. and in my world nothing was normal.

in my world everything had changed and altered. and it was surreal because the outside world seemed unaware and completely unaffected. and how could that possibly be?

when my mom died i was so aware of that experience i had with my dad that i watched & waited to feel it once again. but i didn't. not sure why. maybe because after experiencing it once i was too aware of that mind trick/sensation? maybe because i had already been shown that "life goes on" for the rest of the world even when my world tumbles down. i don't know.

i know her death hit me a lot harder. i had her to lean on when i lost my dad. she was my rock and my strength. her and i were always a lot closer. and we were together 20 years more.

my mom and my only sister within two months of one another. This was just over 3 yrs ago. Dad died 27 yrs ago, and I have my brother left. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate the world without my sis. I wasn't close to my mom, so I don't miss her at all. I just turned 50, dealing with menopause...argh, too much sometimes. I've suffered from major depression all my life and am currently seeing a shrink and on meds. I just don't see much reason to live often, but I keep plodding on. I try to focus on things I'm grateful for and the small joys around me - - flowers, trees, birds, my dog, my partner. But, boy this is a tough one.

My dear friend who has been like a mom to me all of my life is nearing death now too. Alzheimer's and cancer. She only weighs 50 lbs and looks like a concentration camp victim. So hard to see, but I make it a point to just sit near her and talk to her.

the love and companionship/company you give to your dear friend is important. her spirit knows all you've done for her.

it sounds like it's been a difficult time for you, and understandably so.
hold tight to the love that surrounds you.

Taking things one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time...