Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

barbtries

(29,755 posts)
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 03:53 PM Jul 2024

23 years ago today

Bekah was killed, walking across the street at the same time an angry drunk was speeding down the road. the driver swerved into the wrong side of the road to pick her up, drag her about the length of a football field away from her shoes that flew off her feet, and drop her mortally wounded in the middle of the street, where she bled out. Then her killer drove on home. No skid marks.

i thought i was doing better this year than at others, and to be honest, I think much of my frustration and angst on this particular day is not about Bekah. It's more about the dark conspiracies about money and governance and what matters. it's about the plumber not making it for the 2nd day in a row and that water came into my house yesterday and we're in the middle of another severe thunderstorm. Mostly, it's about republicans and how they are destroying the country and democracy. even today, a day I traditionally give over to Bekah's memory.

"I'm mad at my country, now I've been treated bad." Laura Nyro

?si=3_qhH17TtwUZ279S

https://www.lapdonline.org/newsroom/hit-and-run-suspect-captured/
16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
23 years ago today (Original Post) barbtries Jul 2024 OP
*hugs* GPV Jul 2024 #1
thank you GPV barbtries Jul 2024 #10
I am so so very sorry irisblue Jul 2024 #2
thank you irisblue barbtries Jul 2024 #11
I'm so very sorry Skittles Jul 2024 #3
She was pled down barbtries Jul 2024 #7
oh dear Skittles Jul 2024 #13
thanks skittles barbtries Jul 2024 #14
Sending warm hugs. MLAA Jul 2024 #4
thank you MLAA barbtries Jul 2024 #8
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a beautiful 23 year old daughter, Casey who died in a car accident in 1993. I hate SheilaAnn Jul 2024 #5
I'm so sorry. barbtries Jul 2024 #9
How beautiful barbtries. Casey was her nickname (used to grab the bottle like a baseball bat), actually Caroline, my MIL SheilaAnn Jul 2024 #12
Sending you warm hugs also. MLAA Jul 2024 #15
Thank you so much. SheilaAnn Jul 2024 #16
... 2naSalit Jul 2024 #6

Skittles

(159,240 posts)
3. I'm so very sorry
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 04:06 PM
Jul 2024

I've read your posts about Bekah and she was such a lovely girl.

May I ask, what became of the woman responsible? I don't know how people like that can live with themselves.

barbtries

(29,755 posts)
7. She was pled down
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 04:55 PM
Jul 2024

from a murder charge to 2 lesser felonies and sentenced to 4 years; she spent a little over 2 years in prison. Because of a friend who knew people who knew her, I learned that she died in approximately 2009 of cancer. We never received one syllable from her expressing remorse for what she did. I think it could have helped our grief journey if we had, but, anyhow. As her father said when i told her she died, "Ten years too late."

Skittles

(159,240 posts)
13. oh dear
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 05:38 PM
Jul 2024

I think the sentences are stricter now than back then but still not enough......there's really no excuse for drunk driving. And I do agree that any true signs of remorse can help in a grief journey; very sorry you were denied even that.

SheilaAnn

(10,136 posts)
5. I am so sorry for your loss. I had a beautiful 23 year old daughter, Casey who died in a car accident in 1993. I hate
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 04:16 PM
Jul 2024

that January date...

barbtries

(29,755 posts)
9. I'm so sorry.
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 05:01 PM
Jul 2024

Last year was a milestone for you - 30 years. I didn't even expect when Bek died that I'd make it this long. How are you??

By the way I love that name, Casey. Always have.

I really try hard not to torment myself but on Bekah's anniversary I feel like sharing this poem I wrote shortly after she died.

today’s paean to why

There's like a why ocean,
from which waves of why
either tease or soak
my grief-addled mind.
During why's high tide,
nearly drowned in why,
The world abounds with why
All I hear is the sound of why
If it tells me it will have to kill me

When why recedes it is still a mystery
Still cannot know it
while I must respect its immense power over me
Riptides of why swamp me regularly
when I'm rolled crazily around in why,
Powerless to dive away from why
Useless to try dominating why.

On the island why I stop to see
How perseverance can still abide in me
On the mainland why I walk the beach
Hope defying why, the why of life
Is easy to see
By my side or inside of me,
Your spirit your love accompanies
With the energy of a wave
that embodies a natural eternity.

SheilaAnn

(10,136 posts)
12. How beautiful barbtries. Casey was her nickname (used to grab the bottle like a baseball bat), actually Caroline, my MIL
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 05:10 PM
Jul 2024

loved that name (her mother) so why not? She was the baby, I have two older sons who are wonderful to me so we do the best we can. Hoping all is well with you. I'm 84 now and the boys are in their early 60s, and life moseys along. Have a good night.

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»23 years ago today