I'm sorry that this year is being especially hard. Sometimes they just are, I think. No rhyme or reason, just sadness.
Hugs to you, and remember that it'll be January before too long.

In the life of our spirits, the inner lives that constitute who we are so much more than our bodies, I think the people we love are still with us. When my mother died, I connected the hole in my heart with gratitude. The pain i felt meant that I had been blessed by having had her in my life. I embraced the ache as a tribute to what a great woman she had been, and I had an image that she was with me all the time, carried around in miniature form in my heart.

The hole in your heart that doesn't heal is a thing of pride. It's a sign that he iis far from forgotten, and a tribute to your loving marriage as sure as the roses that Joe DiMaggio left on Marilyn's grave. None of us want to be forgotten, your husband isn't. But if he's with you, carried around in your heart, maybe you could make a new ritual of "taking him somewhere special" every year, and let yourself feel like you are giving him a kind of gift. Find an early morning pond, or a sunrise, or a walk in the woods, and let yourself share the experience with him. Or before you face the half-loneliness that comes from being around people who may be relations or friends but who don't really know our hearts, have a little conversation with the Man in your Heart -- about who you'll be seeing today that might need your attention the most, about how you'll make it through the day. Or write a little poem to him, on those holidays, or do an act of kindness or charity in his honor. The holidays are busy, we spend time with the living, but it's okay to take an hour to be alone with our own thoughts, to be reflective and reconnect with the spirit of the one we loved most. We can't hear them with our ears, but we hear them in our hearts.

i'm so very sorry you're feeling this way--yet i understand so well

this will be the sixth christmas without my mom--and we lived together all my life. this past year my daughter has moved out. her and her partner will probably come over for awhile on xmas eve and i'll probably go to their apartment on xmas day. but at night? and in the morning? it will be the first time *in my life* that i am alone in an empty house on xmas eve night and christmas morning. i am absolutely dreading this!

i keep thinking: maybe if i don't focus too much on it, or think about it too much, i can coast through it. we'll have to see. it's early in the month and already i'm thinking about it, anticipating it, ...dreading it.

and i go through some of the motions for the holiday season. and i go through them very half-assed. there is no real incentive for me to do otherwise.

i wanted to play the video you put up, but there is a problem with it.

can you please tell me the name of the song so i can try and find another video of it?

take care, my friend. i know those who have gone before us and whose love remains with us would want only good things for us. and i know they understand our sorrow and would take it away if they could, and make our life joyful and complete if they could. just like they always did before.

Google 'Elvis Presley, Blue Christmas'. You should be able to find it on Youtube or other sites. The version I like has a large smiling picture of Elvis, and a predominately blue/black background color.

Things are a little overwhelming right now. I just want to read a book. The thought of shopping is just too much. Maybe next week.
My kids know I'm having a rough time but I will get through this, I have two grandchildren who are too young to understand.

I hope you find a way to cope with the holiday season that will make it as easy as possible.The memories of better days play heavily on my mind.

bring you some comfort as you talk about them. My Dad has been gone for 10 years and the holidays are difficult for Mom. While things will never be the same, we can honor our loved ones with our stories and laughter. I believe they will always live in our hearts.

I'm finding this out. Thanksgiving was a big holiday for my husband. He loved to cook. He would cook for 24 hours straight and just be so happy. And he invited everyone. I don't cook and feel people in my home are intruding. I had no way to replace my normal thanksgiving routine with a new one. I wound up volunteering at an event for homeless people that fed them, gave flu shots and provided showers and laundry I really forced myself and to be honest kinda hated it because I found out I wanted to be alone. But I think I will force myself to do something similar for the next anniversary of something that reminds me of my husband
I'm telling you this because if I stayed home I wouldn't have felt any better. And I'm thinking some days there's going to be nothing I can do to feel less sad.

Today makes a year my husband has been gone. I don't remember last Christmas as I think I was in shock. I am really feeling it this Christmas. I have avoided the holiday songs as they make me break down in tears. I am available anytime if you need to talk. know it is really really hard.