a year and a half ago the county chaplain showed up at our door to tell us our 19 year old son had passed in his sleep. The autopsy showed a cardiac arrhythmia from unknown causes. He was very healthy. Had just completed 2-3 months of training with the Marines at Camp Pendleton (he was a Navy corpsman).

You're right--you never know. And you're also right about never having too many friends at a time like this. We were surrounded by LOTS of people for a few days, then a smaller, but closer set of friends/family to be with us. Life becomes segregated into two time frames--things that happened before he died and things that happened after he died.

I went to a bereavement class. My husband didn't. We all process it differently. There's a darkness in our lives that will never go away, but somehow we go on and try to find good things.

My heartfelt sympathy to your friend and his family. And blessings to you, too, as you help him pick up the pieces. A friend once said "I wish I could hug you hard enough to put your broken heart back together."

kanda

I have two beautiful daughters and four grandkids.
Life is so precious and fleeting.

All my best to you and your family.

thank you. Give them all an extra hug tonight.

what a tragedy.

years ago, after my dad died, i went to a bereavement group (once or twice a week for a couple months, offered through my dad's church) and i found it extremely comforting and helpful. my mom & i weren't members but it was offered to family members of parishioners -- she absolutely wouldn't go. but she held up extremely well whereas i was a mess.

i really needed something like that after i lost my mom a few years ago. i could still use it.

again, i'm very sorry about your loss.

thank you. And I'm sorry for your loss. There are some ongoing bereavement groups that meet up in our area, like The Compassionate Friends. Maybe there are some close to you, too. I don't do much talking in group situations, but listening to others and realizing we're all in the same boat is somewhat comforting.

blessings to you.

yes, do check in with him. go for a walk with him, take him out for coffee. let him know that if he ever wants to talk or just hang out he can give you a call.

i'm not exactly sure what you meant when you said he worries about two weeks from now when the darkness comes. that sounds rather grim.

...when this initial shock wears off and it all sinks in.

I'm there for him for sure.

for many months to come. How painful. So young and tragic. I'm so very sorry.