I'm a solitary person but work in a field that requires me to present to groups of strangers, assisting them largely to learn how to be more effective educators.

Being effective means being a good listener more than a yakker.

Most people in a conversation are just waiting for their chance to yak in a one-directional manner.

Who does this person think he is to use a term like "socially awkward"?

As you suggest, extroverts can be, and often are, most awkward in a public or social setting.

They are quite unaware of how they come across to others, see my other post on this thread for an example..

are just waiting for their chance to yak in a one-directional manner."

That's my experience.

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt

A great many people are uncomfortable discussing ideas because they don't really have any, all they can talk about is people and if they really strain they can maybe talk about events.

It's difficult not to just veg out on many people, their conversation lacks any kind of spark of creativity.

I was (unwillingly) listening to one side of a phone conversation the other day, the person on the end I was physically present for is someone who almost never stops talking, their big complaint of the conversation was that people can't just listen, they have to interrupt.

If you don't interrupt this person you'll never get a chance to say anything and they are horrible about interrupting anyone else who happens to be speaking, I feel like I'm standing under a waterfall of words pounding on my skull almost every time I talk to them. They also like to make eye contact and get really close, practically nose to nose and it triggers my flight or fight reflex unless I deliberately suppress it.

It's partly a factor of her extroversion, but mostly a factor of her rather extreme adhd. She has no filters between her brain and her mouth; whatever is going on in there is coming out of her mouth, and it's often incoherent. I have finally learned how to hang up on her politely; I just say, "I've got to go; I love you, goodbye." Then hang up without waiting for her to go on for several more minutes saying goodbye because I have to go.

It's harder in person; I make appropriate sounds, and just let her go. When she wants a response at the end, either I was able to hang on to a main thread and say something, or I say, "I'm sorry. You completely lost me when you started talking about Y, and then jumped over to A, and then to P; I got confused and lost track of what you wanted me to know." It's useful, at this point, to be able to be "in my head," lol.

I've learned that it's usually not productive to actually have anything to say myself.

It's a measurement of quantity, not quality, of a person's social interactions.
Being "popular" is the social norm, but the quality of those many friends is never addressed.

like many introverts, I enjoy being alone with myself.
Seems to me that non-introverts have a tuff time living in even minimal amounts of silence and solitude..why else are so many tvs and radios left on all the time "for the company".?

Extroverts can't deal with silence or solitude, while I thrive on both. They don't, though, have the societal stigma attached that assumes there is something unhealthy or "not normal" about introversion.

Isolated house, no work demands, no social demands that can't be handled in brief telephone visits, and many hours a day of reading and thinking.
which I share with another introvert, Mr. Dixie.
He has a man-cave about 100 feet form the house, I get the house, and we connect for dinner and breakfast.
It's heaven.

But..one problem...the more solitude I get, the less tolerant I am for socializing with others. It gets downright uncomfortable.

at the dead end of a private dirt road next to miles of public land, with the closest neighbors several acres away.

I don't get to spend enough time at home, though. I work all day, with middle school students of all people, and have family duties on Saturdays. So I come home exhausted, drained, every evening and try to rest and soak up enough quiet to get me through another week on Sunday.

Now retired, but sure hear the pooped by Sat. feelings.
and NOT working is not an option these days, is it?

You are gonna love retirement if you don't end up having to work thru it.

I'm about as introverted as you can get--I often joke that I could be happy on an island with a volleyball. I do actually have a group of close friends, almost all introverts who are artists in one way or the other, and we have loads of fun when we get together.

I'm married to an extrovert who, happily, is totally content to stay at home most of the time and does most of his socializing online so I don't have to be involved with that. Sometimes he'll get going on some topic and I do what I call 'filtering'--listen just enough to know how to make a response without hearing every detail. That saves me from having to end up screaming "STOP TALKING" after a ten minute long story about something that happened on World of Warcraft, lol.

I don't consider myself socially awkward at all. If I'm not making eye contact with you it's because I don't want to have to talk to you. Honestly I probably feel that it would be a tedious waste of time that I could be thinking about something that is more interesting or important to me. I guess it sounds egotistical or mean but as I've gotten older I just don't want to waste time listening to someone go on and on. Brief interactions are fine, I can be pleasant in the grocery line, when at the dog park, etc. But you can usually tell when someone is going to latch onto you and bend your ear. Then it's time to RUN AWAY!!

I'm sure it would be entertaining to observe my body language when I'm out where I can't just retreat to a 'safe' place and people watch or be left to my own thoughts. I know that I will start positioning myself so that there is something like a piece of furniture, or a tree if at the dog park, between me and someone that I've observed to be too chatty or looks like they want to be my new best friend. I guess the key note speaker guy might consider that awkward but I consider it to be a proven strategy for self preservation and I'm not sorry for it anymore.

It doesn't seem awkward to me at all, lol.

I don't want to make stupid small talk with people. I will be pleasant and like to make people laugh. I have social skills. I will make sympathetic noises to the checker at the store, and say something like "I bet your feet hurt" or "It's probably been a long day" and they appreciate that. I can be very entertaining.

The familiar part is where you say you are introverted unless you are around artists. I am an artist and a serious musician on two instruments and voice. I have performed in two plays in the Hispanic community and was a soprano in the chorus of an opera done by a community opera company. That was great fun and we did it in the original Italian, of course. I can have a great time talking about the latest exhibit at the art museum, or the fact that Houston Grand Opera is in the middle of a very avant-garde Ring Cycle now, having presented two of the operas, or many other kinds of music & musical artists. Or jazz chord progressions. I've seen enough of the standard operatic repertoire that the usual productions of the usual works bore me and I won't go see them.

Other good topics are philosophy or history or economics. I know a bit about those. I also have a few other topics I am "cracked" on and know a lot about, generally law and biology (have degrees in those) and Romance languages (took Latin, Spanish and Italian in school).

But your average TV show, or your average celebrity tabloid, I have no interest in. And of course no interest in conservative religion and conservative politics. If I admire a celebrity, it's because they've done something I consider worthwhile with their lives as an entertainer or an educator, or they've spoken out on a cause that shows that they are thoughtful. There are people who are famous for being famous, and people who are famous and talented at what they do. To quote Lewis Black, "WHY should I keep up with the Kardashians?"


If I am around people interested in what I am interested, I am right there and listening and contributing. The average dolt who is into stupid TV shows and shitkick music and hating Obama, nope. I will get up and leave. Just about all my relatives are dead or estranged and so I don't have to get into any political arguments with them. My parents were yellow dog Democrats, though.

I think a lot of so called extroverts just want to dominate and control other people. By talking over them, being loud, telling them what they should do and so forth. They don't listen. I don't want to dominate anyone so I have to assert myself to not be dominated. Sometimes I am too nice and want to get along with everybody, and some people you just can't be nice to. You have to get away from them.

I often find it is the people who are blabbering away who are not paying attention.

Key note speakers talking about those topics generally are full of it.