I've found that when we are able to really drill down to what's going on behind uncomfortable feelings and behaviors that there is a fear or several fears.

With some patience and communication, listening and mindfulness, we find that we have more in common with our adversaries than either party realizes.

Remarkable in it's simplicity, but it's also astonishing how often we all fail to reach that place where we see our commonalities and offer forgiveness.

the mind is thought of as a sense in Buddhism, like the sense of touch, when we "feel" hurt it is just that sensing hurt and it's always in my experience not just "my" hurt it is the fact that there is hurt in the universe around you in that moment.

Sounds like when you were able to sit down and openly discuss things that's exactly what you found, the hurt was being felt by your stepfather and others too.

So glad that your situation has turned around...amazing how things can change through just talking sincerely, honestly and openly.

Wonderful.